Don’t Give Up, Mom

Are you a mom?

Don’t give up.

You’ll be tempted to compare your baby’s development with those of the kids in the church nursery. Or the cousins. Or the baby in the big thick “Your baby should be doing all of this now” book and feel like something is wrong.

But even if they don’t smile at exactly four weeks or their first birthday comes and they still aren’t walking (our child who just got offered multiple athletic scholarships didn’t walk til way past his first birthday) don’t waste time comparing and missing out on the joy of seeing them develop in THEIR unique way.

Learning physical skills takes time.

So….

Don’t give up.

Is your young child giving you fits as you try to teach them to behave properly? Are you around other kids who seem to say “yes ma’am” and “no sir” on cue? They mind the first time they are asked?  Your child however plowed into a senior saint at church when he was racing down the hall trying to get away from you and added a “Watch it lady!” for emphasis.

Lovely.

Don’t feel like a failure. Learning proper social etiquette takes time. They will eventually  learn to behave like a polite, upstanding member of society netiher yelling in public nor knocking down the elderly.

Just not today.

Today, they are still a kid so….

Don’t give up.

Is your teen causing you to lose sleep? Do they ever roll their eyes, question your rules or just generally cause you to worry because even though you know you are doing all you can to teach them about Christ and serving and loving Him and making wise choices….they are still a teen?

And were you once a teen and so you know that sometimes teens make stupid, even sinful choices? (This paragraph brought to you by the mom whose son got his first after school detention this week for something he thought was super funny. NOTE: Substitute teachers don’t have the same sense of humor as 15 year old class clowns)

Don’t beat yourself up. Learning to make wise choices takes time. You can’t shoulder all the blame when your kid makes stupid or sinful choices any more than you can take all the credit when they make a godly choice so stop beating yourself up already.

And remember this wise truth a friend once told me….

When you want them the least is when they need you the most.

So don’t pull away. Don’t over-discipline. Say to them  “I’ve been there.” Tell them you love them. Tell them a lot.

Oh and making their favorite treat when you instead want to clobber them blesses both of you. Whatever you do, just please….

Don’t give up.

After all, you were sinful, made stupid choices, were unlovable and deserved nothing but eternal punishment didn’t you? But God didn’t give up on you.

He’s the perfect parent that way.

Hang in there today mom. I’m pulling for you!

DON’T GIVE UP!

 

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14 Comments

  1. Karen–

    I am LOVING your book Let. It. Go. Thanks!

    I am currently struggling with a nearly 4 year old boy who has become VERY stubborn about most everything–especially not when it comes to going #2 on the potty! It has been quite a battle…we are not giving up!

    Also–
    This same little boy prays every night for a baby sister. I am 44, overweight, have had 2 miscarriages out of three pregnancies–odds are LOW that I can have another child, according to all the medical data. We are not wealthy, and my home is beyond messy, so I am not thinking we have great odds to adopt, either. I desperately want to add to our family, and I am willing to leave the way open, and let Him decide what sort of miracle He will use. I have been pretty discouraged–it looks pretty bleak, by man’s standards. Thank you for reminding this mom not to give up on our child who has not yet joined our family.

    Blessings!
    Carissa in eastern Iowa

  2. Thank you, Karen! I am the mom of two sons who are 22 and 25 years old. You have a false sense of belief that as they get older, parenting will get easier. Absolutely not – many times the opposite happens. As they say bigger kids have bigger problems. However, with that said my two sons are my sunshine and yes I am still the parent and have many situations that I stop and scratch my head and say what do I do now??? God has led me through the good, bad, difficult, easy and most amazing challenges. Now I think to myself, how could I have ever done this without Him who assures me daily that “he’s got me covered!”. Blessings to you and for sharing this blog today.

  3. I can relate to Janet and Latosha. Your post today was RIGHT ON TIME! I haven’t written much in the last few months, because life at my home became extremely chaotic with the birth of the grandchild at the end of November. You may recall that I have written before about my daughter who moved back home last April because she was pregnant, and how challenged I have felt since we still have two young daughters to parent as well. In the 2 1/2 months since the baby was born, my daughter has not had five good healthy days to string together. She has had a plethora of postpartum complications, including a hospitalization the week before Christmas, yet still had to return to college full-time in January. The baby did well until two weeks ago when she developed a respiratory virus that landed her in the hospital overnight; but thank the Lord she is on the mend. Between caring for my daughter, the baby, my work, and my other children/husband/home…all I can say is that I thought I was tired before all this! I have anxiety nearly every day wondering if I am doing enough for the younger ones, and hoping that they are not suffering in silence. There are many days that I pray for the grace of God as I carry out my responsibilities. Your friend’s comment, “When you want them the least is when they need you the most” really resonated with me. I have to admit that over the last few weeks, my husband and I have said to each other, “We just have to get her to the point where she and the baby can get out on their own.” That sounds terrible to my ears when i say it (and not easy to write it, either). We love them both, but this is not how it is supposed to be. Nevertheless, this is what God has allowed, and may His glory be revealed in spite of it. Praying for the strength to keep going.

  4. My situation is the opposite. Because of some of my choices when my daughter was young she has given up on me. (She is 33 now) I, however, have not given up on my hope to hear her voice again (haven’t heard it since 8/09) I love and serve an Almighty God that heals the broken hearted and loves me despite what I did yesterday, 10 years ago or , as in this case, 20 years ago. I am looking to and trusting God to intervene in this situation and heal our relationship. I have kept the door open and will welcome her back with a party like none has ever seen. :)
    Thank you for the encouragement you give us daily. God Bless you Karen!!

  5. Oh Karen, you help to keep me full of encouragement. I almost started to ‘give up’ while reading the first sentence of this blog, because I thought it pertained to only Mother’s with very young children. So glad that I kept on reading because I can relate to them all. I am a Mother of a 19 year old who is in his second year of college. I am constantly praying for him and not giving up. I am learning to not condemn myself for the choices that he makes because eventhough I am not perfect, but just the same my son was brought up in a Christian home and we did our very best to teach him what is right according to God’s Word. I am thankful that God chose me to raise my son and now that he has entered adulthood, I pray for him even more and trust that God has him in his hands. Thank you for today’s blog and blessings to you and to your family! (-:

  6. Karen, thank you so much for this post. It is very timely. I am a mom that has wanted to give up quite a lot this past year with a 23 year old daughter that just seems not to want to get her act together and grow up. Even though in years she is an adult and “she” thinks she is an adult, she still displays attitude and lifestyle of an 18 year old. She and her 2 year old son are living with us now and as much as I love every minute spent with my grandson, this is not how I imagined living my late middle age years!!!! Request prayers that God will speak to her and help her become less selfish and get her life on track for she and her son.

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