5 Days to Sweet & Salty Speech
Welcome to those who popped over after reading my Proverbs 31 devotion called The Day I Couldn’t Shut Up. {Click here if you haven’t read it}
If you need a little help knowing when to pipe up and when to shut up, sign up for my free resource 5 Days to Sweet & Salty Speech. It takes five characters from the Bible to teach five lessons for our lips! Each day’s devotion comes automatically to your email inbox for five consecutive days starting with the day you sign up.
Click here to sign up.
And now a giveaway!!!
Your mouth ever gotten you in a tangled-up mess?
Maybe its time you adopted a new rule of tongue.
Got words? Oh yeah, you do! The average women speaks over 20,000 a day—not to mention the ones she types online. Karen Ehman—a woman whose words have often landed her in a heap of trouble— shares from experience the how’s (and how-not-to’s) of dealing with the tongue in her new book Keep It Shut . Using biblical examples, as well as Karen’s own personal (and sometimes painful!) stories, Keep It Shut will equip you to know what to say, how best to say it, and when you’d better just keep your lips zipped!
This book will teach you:
- The difference between gossip and properly processing with a trusted friend
- A helpful grid for using our digital tongues as we talk online or on social media
- How to pause before you pounce, attacking the problem but not the person
- How to avoid saying something permanently painful just because you are temporarily ticked off
- What the Bible teaches about making our speech laced with grace, as sweet as honey, and yet seasoned with salt
There is also a six-week DVD Bible study with workbook for group or individual use.
I have been trying to watch my mouth. I have problems when I’m with friends and get caught up in their gossip. When I should keep my mouth shut, I sometimes follow in the gossip. I always feel horrible after but it’s too late then.
I think when I try to share “news” when in fact I am contributing to gossip. I struggle with that sometimes, and realize that more often than not, it is wiser to just say nothing.
My tongue has been a problem (still is!!!). Right now, I am struggling with not saying things to my husband-we are in a very difficult place and I need to keep my words few but then there are other times when I need to know how to respectfully, kindly stand up for what is right and not let myself be steam rolled over. The tongue is a deadly part of the body but with God I can make progress. I try to keep Proverbs 25:28 in mind as well as other Scriptures.
I seem to have an issue with this daily. Whether it is trying to get my spouse to “listen” to MY point of view when I know I’m right, my 7 year old to realize how he needs to respect me, or gossiping with my girl friends about something I know in the back of my mind I need to NOT say. You would think at 47 I would have this mastered- but the tongue is something quite difficult to tame!!!!! FOR SURE. I am thankful for these helpful lessons and hoping to win a free book! On my way to taming the wild beast……
Praying that God will guide and direct my choices as I learn to change my communication efforts. I have too many incidents of foolish talk. I am really looking forward to your book and study. Hoping for positive, good, Christian change in my mouth and in my life.
I find that when I am saying too much it’s usually at home, among family and friends that are there often. My guard is down because I’m more comfortable — rather than cautious. Everything Karen writes or blogs about on this topic is convicting to my soul! I couldn’t start the online study in January because I was involved in another Bible study that I was doing, but I would love to do this — both for my own benefit and for ministry! I have 3 daughters (college age and above) that would enjoy it and I am a leader in the high school youth ministry at church and could also use these resources for teenage girls, as well. I am blessed by you, Karen!
My foot is in my mouth someway – somehow every day. I have six children, a small and close knit church and a sweet husband of 16 years who thinks before he speaks. When my hubby and I were courting he shared Proverbs 30:32 – “Clap your hand over your mouth”. Yup, I still married him, and we still struggle with misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and pride. I would love to share your book with my friends…thanks for the giveaway!
Sometimes “Mrs. Mouth” gets me into trouble and I think did I really just say that with my “outside” voice and not just think it with my “inside” voice. Would love to win this study – I am sure that it is just as awesome as your last one.
I am in a constant battle with my vile tongue it just doesn’t understand that it does not rule me but I am desperately trying to tame it. I over spoke one time at the local jail where I minister and as the realization set in that I had just seriously stuck my foot in my mouth I desperately tried to right this by continuing to jabber on. By the time I finally shut up my entire leg was in my mouth and that days sermon was in the ditch. I see now looking back that if I would have just shut up and gave the lesson back to Holy Spirit I could have avoided it but nope Greta had to take the lead with her fleshly tongue. That is the circumstance that started me on learning how to tame my unruly member and how our words build and tear down.
I think learning that it is okay to create that white space in a conversation in order to say the right thing in the right way is especially helpful. Ofttimes we say the right thing but in the wrong way which causes the fracture in the relationship. It also gives me a minute to ponder “what would the Lord have me to say” and “listen” for his leading.
I am often someone, unfortunately, who needs to speak up more. I tend to let people, and their comments, run all over me, which leaves me feeling defeated. People tell me all the time that I’m just as entitled to my voice as they are to theirs. I just need to believe it!
This morning when I yelled at my 2 year old. I know he’s little and too young to understand, but momma lost it this morning. I felt awful and as we were driving to grandma’s house, I turned off the radio and told him I loved him and he said “I love you too, mommy.” It was a rough morning and started out awful and he just pushed the buttons wrong this morning. But when I got kisses and hugs and another I love you before I left him at Grandma’s, I knew he wouldn’t remember me yelling at him and that we were okay. Thank goodness little ones don’t remember things. I need God to help me keep my words and temper in check.
I struggle daily as a perfectionist who always needs to be right! Sometimes I will go out of my way to prove someone is incorrect. Afterwards, as I reflect back on the conversation, I realize that I have sabotaged a friendship or relationship by my need to prove a point. I wish I could discover a way to prevent these situations and accept the fact that it is more important to spare the feelings of a loved one than to always have the last word or be correct.
Unfortunately, I did not grow up in a Christian home so I was never taught how and when it was appropriate to say something. My mother always told me to stick up for myself, no matter what. So, I did. When someone had a comment about what I was wearing or the way I looked, I always had a smart remark to say about them. I lived and talked this way until I became a Christian at 19 years old. Six years later and it is still a battle for me to zip my lips but by the grace of God- I am making progress. Would love a copy of this study to really help my roots develop from what Christ teaches, not what the old Takiesha says.
In my previous job-there were all women. One in particular loved to stir up discontentment. Although I knew this, on certain topics, I just had to share my “opinion”. What good did I do? Did it honor God? I would feel horrible for days afterward. Yet-another day would come and I would do it again! Sometimes I wondered what was wrong with me! Knowing I needed to keep my mouth shut -yet opening it anyway. I really need work in the area of my mouth. Thinking before speaking has always been my downfall.
I so appreciate your Proverbs 31 post. I am writing those scriptures down and memorizing them. I pray God will bring them to my mind daily.
Thanks Karen for all you do! and your ministry!!
When haven’t I opened my mouth when I should have kept my mouth shut. I have a big problem with this. Always think back over a conversation and then think, why did I say that or a see the look on a persons face and feel horrified. It happens way too often.
The area I need to always seem to work on is the words I say to my husband. Seems like he always gets what is left over at the end of the day when I am tired and most vulnerable. I strive to remember that he deserves my best and to hold my tongue even when I don’t think things have been done or going the way I think they should. My way and my thoughts are not the only way to accomplish things and I need to be more thoughtful and understanding.
A few years ago I flippantly told someone Happy Mother’s Day when she wasn’t a mother. I didn’t know if she could have children, or even wanted to, but responded back to her greeting that way. As I went home I realized what I had said and was devastated. I immediately talked to her and apologized. She was gracious and accepted my apology and now has a beautiful little girl. Careless words – not pausing to think what effect my words could have on someone.
Actually, I’m proud of myself for NOT saying too much just last night, when my oldest daughter’s boyfriend went off on me in a FB message, complete with cursing. Rather than respond in kind, in the heat of the moment, I left it alone until this morning, at which time I was able to respond calmly and factually.
The ladies from my “Young Families” group at church (about 20 of us) are just finishing “The Best Yes” study. We are hoping to move onto another book and this would be PERFECT for us as our “Young Families” Pastor is transitioning to Head Pastor of our church. Most of us ladies already serve in forms of leadership but have been called to “step it up” to support our young pastor (he’s 35) and to be prepared as the next generation of the church. All of us girls are very close and we love to talk….of course, often asking ourselves, “was that gossip or were we just stating the facts?” :) It would be great to have a resource to help determine between the two as well as assist us in knowing what to say and how to say things to others as needs will certainly arise and be brought to our attention as new leaders in our church!!!!
Why does it seem we hurt the ones we love the most with our random, ungodly words? Guilty and seeking His help to improve in this area.
Many times in my relationship with my husband, I stuff my hurt feelings or words down and they built and built until they explode. The fall out isn’t pretty! So learning how and when to express myself is an area where I need to grow.
Ouch – just went through “miscommunication” this week…tired, new job, new move to a new town, loneliness, and wading through unpacked boxes…and lots of little “problems” like water leaks, etc. at new apartment that made me even more frustrated and impatient. Add a grumpy landlord and couple of plumbers and…well, let’s just say I was awful close to “losing my witness”. I don’t think I reflected Jesus to anyone there as I responded to the landlord’s sharp words – when a “pause” would have been much more effective. Hard to keep my mouth shut during times of frustration and exhaustion…but seems in my case, THOSE are the times it’s the most necessary!
I got into an argument with my teenage step-daughter and I did not take the time to think before I spoke some harsh words to her. Even though I have apologized numerous times, our relationship is not the same. I’m heart broken and mad that I allowed my quick tongue to rule rather than taking the time to think before speaking.
I have to be careful all the time with what I say at work and home. At work it sometimes turns to gossip when I don’t mean it to and at home with my husband we can have a conversation and next thing I know he is hurt and fighting mad