MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Beginning this morning, I will be taking a blogging break to just hang out with my family until Kenna heads back down south to school. We’ll eat snacks, watch movies, fight over cut-throat games of Phase 10, have family Bible time with all five of us home answering ‘The Question’ on Christmas Eve  and at the end of the two-week span, I may be too weak from hosting four different get togethers! (As I type, there are 8 teens sleeping over in my basement who will be up soon and expecting homemade waffles!)

I leave you with this post, written by my daughter last week and displayed on her Facebook page. I hope it touches you like it did me. Until we are back connecting as cyber friends the first week in January, may we all take time for THE baby. Here’s Kenz:

In the craziness of the holidays, it is so easy to lose focus. Just what is Christmas is all about? Not the gifts, or lights, or even family, but about a baby; a baby who came down to earth as nothing in the world’s eyes. Yet became everything to those who would only believe.

Today was my last day at the Swope’s before I head home next week for Christmas. Aster (one year old) was not feeling well and wanted to be held, all day long. So I put her on my hip and began about my every-Monday routine. But being the sweet, full of energy, always alert little girl that she is, she did not like that I was paying more attention to the dusting and moping than I was to her. So she began to fuss, she kicked a bit and finally began to yell. It was at this point that I abandoned my cleaning to take some time to sit and hold her.

We sat on the couch and turned on some Christmas music. And as we cuddled there listening to music about joy and Jesus, something came to my attention. You see I always think of Jesus being this great man, the Son of God, who saved the world from sin, and although that is true, I find that so often I forget about how he first came to earth.

He was a baby.

He cried, He had smelly diapers, He needed attention, and He wanted love.

Everything just clicked with me right then and there as I snuggled with this small baby that I love so much. I always knew the story of how Jesus came to earth as a baby, but it never really hit me the way it did today. He had a mother, a father, sisters, and brothers. And although I don’t have any children, there are kids that I love dearly and can’t imagine my life without, sweet little Aster being one of them.

The emotions of how His mother must of felt overwhelmed me. She built into His life, she loved Him, she changed Him, she abandoned all else for Him.

What have I done for Him?

I believe that God sent His Son to earth as a baby, to show His gentle, meek, loving, spirit. What is less intimidating that a child? If you give a child a little attention and show them that you love them they will love you back forever.

Just like Jesus.

All He asks for is our attention and our love. How many times though do we abandon Him for the busyness of life? The laundry, dusting, moping, or vacuuming. How many times does He have to yell at us to get our attention? And how many times, when He does, do we think He is being unfair and not considering what we have to do?

You see all Jesus wants is us to take time out from our busy schedules to be with Him; to love Him and be loved by Him. This is a lesson that Aster helped me remember this Christmas season:

Don’t get so busy with life and things that we forget people and God.

At the end of our day as I fed her a bottle, the song “Mary Did You Know?” came on. It helped to conclude my thoughts for the day. Think about it, Mary took time out of her life, a lot more than most people do, to just be with Jesus and to love Him. We should follow her example.

So this Christmas, remember just how much God loves us. He sent His Son, His ONLY Son, into the world to give us hope!

It is my prayer that we all will remember to take time to praise the One who this season is all about. Not only God the great, all-mighty, powerful, majestic Savior……..

But Jesus, the meek, humble, sweet baby who one day would save all of us who seek Him.

Taking time for THE baby,

Kenna

Today you are in for a  Christmastime treat. I have asked my 18 year-old daughter Mackenzie–known to us fondly as Kenna–for permission to reprint a note she wrote for her Facebook page a few days ago.  Thursday, she will post another holiday musing. (And these two days off will give me time to wrap a few presents!!!) I hope you let her words sink in and leave a comment, if you desire. I’ll be back tomorrow for Weight Loss Wednesday. For now, here is Kenna…..

How many times have you heard the saying, or even said it yourself, “Man, the holidays are brutal!” or on the way to the mall or airport, “Careful, you could get killed, it’s crazy out there!”

I find myself saying this all too often. But do we really think about the meaning of the words as we spew them out of our mouths? I know I don’t.

You see when I was talking to my mother today over a few quick text’s between the dentist and  a trip to Target, she said that she “nearly got killed” on Black Friday but got the digital camera she wanted at less than half the retail price. I showered her with accolades as I tapped away at my full keyboard, “Get it girl!” I thought nothing of these words, until now as I sit here at this crowded mall just a week before Christmas.

Here I am surrounded by men and women of all ages, most sporting their best Christmas colors; vibrant red, Christmas tree green, sparkling silver, and shining gold. But in the midst of this sea of elegant colors, my wandering eyes keep falling to the muted colors of this rainbow. The small checkered patterns of hunter green and khaki.

You see, over in the corner there is a group of men and women in uniform, and as the “busy people” rush by looking for just the right gift to give to their loved ones, this particular group of people seems calm. This year, as they sit with friends and family, they have  already given the most precious gift ever, the dedication of their lives to protect the freedom of ours.

But here, today in this crazy mall, people keep rushing by them. Not even realizing the gift THEY are receiving this year from these humble people huddled in the corner.

You see, to these brave soldiers, the mall on Christmas Eve is not dangerous, the airport near the holidays is not brutal, and getting up on Black Friday to get that one special item they have been eyeing all year is not at all frightening. Why? Because they really have been through war and back. They have given us Freedom, a life that allows us to enjoy the holidays we love so much. Yet how do we repay them?

We walk right by them without so much as a thanks.

Ever since I was young, I can remember my mother going up to every, (and when I say every, I mean EVERY), man or women in uniform and saying “Thank you for serving our country.” Now, of course when I was younger, it only embarrassed me. However, with the loss of PFC Andrew Nelson, a childhood friend who was killed in Baghdad by an IED on Christmas Day 2006, then my working for a military family while their father was deployed, helping to lighten the load of the mother left behind with five young kids, and having many friends, including one of my very best friends, join the military this past year, I see now why she did it and more importantly, why she still does.

We as Americans take our freedom for granted. We take the people who protect us for granted and we take our country for granted.

This has got to stop in the USA.

So with the New Year approaching, I challenge you: whenever you see someone in uniform at the store, the airport, or out to eat, take the two minutes it will require to go and thank them for what they do for you, for your family and for your country.

It will touch their heart, your heart, and the hearts of those around you.

Well, I am off.

There is a group of people I need to go over to and thank.

And this Christmas season, I want to say a special thanks to my ‘other father’ Staff Sergeant Gabe Morse, my assistant Pastor Yeoman First Class Ron Sischo and new enlistees Jonathon Lounds, Jordan Purchase, Zach Smith, and especially Kyle Williams for being part of the group of men and women who protect this country so I can relax this Christmas season knowing I am safe. And I thank PFC Andrew Nelson for giving the ulimate sacrifice three years ago on Christmas Day.

I  sincerely salute you all.

Humbly and Respectfully Yours,

Mackenzie

________________________________________________________________________________________

P.S. Congratulations to the winner of yesterday’s giveaway: Kate; timestamp 1:23 pm on December 21st

Email me at karen@proverbs31.org to give me your home address so I can mail you your copy of Homespun Memories For The Heart! Congrats!!!

Merry Christmas to those of you joining us today by way of the Encouragement for Today devotion I have up on Crosswalk.com and Proverbs 31. If you haven’t read it yet, click here to do so.

And will you do this momma’s heart some good and hop back on here tomorrow and Thursday when my 18 year old daughter Mackenzie will be guest posting? She wrote two Christmas pieces on her Facebook site recently that made me bawl and I’ve asked her to let me reprint them here. I’d love for you to read them and leave her a comment if you’d be so kind. Thanks!

Four more days. Many advent calendars and Christmas countdown clocks are telling us that is exactly how many days we have left until the big event.

Our family had it own countdown calendar of sorts. Our kitchen chalkboard announced daily how many more days until Kenz came home from North Carolina for Christmas. Today it was supposed to read “2 more days”, but we pulled a little surprise on our boys.

She actually flew in last Thursday night late, spent the night with a friend and then showed up at Spencer’s rehearsal for Lansing’s Homeschool Performing Arts show Suessical the musical on Friday. He was floored! There she saw many dear friends and then, hopped in a car to later show up at Mitchell’s JV basketball game to surprise him too.

Such fun. Then, already this past weekend, we have had the Ehman Christmas and then two dear families over last night for a holiday get together. ..

Now we have, like many of you, four more days….

What can we do in these days we have left to focus on Jesus? And how can we help our kid’s catch the vision of Christmas by way of our attitudes, actions and activities? I’ll list a few ideas to get us started. You hop on and leave an idea (or a comment about an idea). I’ll be giving away a copy of our book Homespun Memories For The Heart to one person who does so.

• Keep a copy of a Bible nearby where you will be spending a lot of time this week- the kitchen where you’ll be baking; the bedroom where you’ll be secretly wrapping gifts; on your office desk. Leave it open to Luke chapter 2. In the midst of your busy day and bustle of duties, stop and read a few paragraphs of the story of Jesus’ birth. Later, read some more. Re-read it often these next few days letting the magnitude of the reality of this incredible story sink in. Once, you were sentenced to spend eternity without God. Now, through the entrance of Jesus in that simple manger bed, you have a way to heaven. You can spend eternity with the God who is with us (Emmanuel). Awesome! If you simply have no idea what I mean by that, click here to read more and find out.
• Intentionally bring Christ into your conversations. Christmas is a natural time to center your conversations around Jesus. Whether it is with your family, a neighbor or the check out clerk at the store, look for open doors to, like the shepherds, tell others about Him.
• Look for the Christ Child. If you have small (or even not so small) children, help them look for Jesus. Do they see Him at the mall? Nestled in a lighted manger when you are taking a Christmas light tour? Is He on a Christmas card? Teach them that just like the Wise Men of old, we have to search for the Christ Child. Which brings us to the next idea…
• Hunt for baby Jesus. This is how we awakened our kids when they were small. Crank up a Christmas tune to signal it is time to begin. We often played the old Amy Grant song Love Has Come since it talks about waking up the little ones, the excitement of them seeing the gifts and the tree, but the real thrill being the fact that love has come for the world to know, just like the Wise Men knew such a long time ago. (Lyrics here.) Then, before the gifts can be opened and the stockings unstuffed everyone must, like those wise guys, “Hunt” for baby Jesus. He was a baby boy doll wrapped in our own version of swaddling clothes. Once he was found, we placed Him in the makeshift manger, daddy prayed and then we opened our gifts.
• Ask the “Question”. This works well for families with a little bit older children. My friend Renee from Colorado began this tradition many years ago. Her sister-in-law, my other friend Debi, adopted it in her family, going so far as to make a banner sporting the “Question” that they display each year. Here is the concept in a nutshell.

*What are your gold, frankincense and myrrh this year? Gold symbolises royalty, so which of Christ’s noble characteristics is He growing in you? (patience, faith, honesty, kindness, self-control, etc..?)

*Frankincense was burned and arose during prayer. What prayers has God specifically answered for you in 2009?

*And myrrh was a burial spice accompanying death, so what do you need to die to in 2010 in order to become more like Jesus? (getting your own way/selfishness, envy, disrespect for your husband, spiritual laziness, anger, criticism, your wayward or sharp tongue, apathy, indifference?)

It isn’t too late to do this fabulous activity this year. Gather the family in the next day or two. Have the “Question” typed out (with the explanation). Everyone can carve out some alone time to answer it and then share the answers Christmas morning, before opening gifts, while sipping on hot cocoa. We are doing so this year, however, our younger ones only have to answer one of the three parts if that is all they can come up with.

Now, your turn….what are ways you focus on Christ in the midst of the other Christmas images and activities that are oh-so-fun and fine, but that sometimes steal the show? Leave us a comment today and you might win a copy of the book, which is chock-full of ideas for celebrating with your loved ones all through the year– on holidays, at holy days and on the ‘every’days of life too–the first day of school, the first lost tooth, the kick-off of summer, when your child gets their license or own library card, etc….

Four-Days-and-Counting Blessings,

Friday Update: Hi all! Had a few things come up in the past two days including a trip to ER for my hubby (who is doing better, thanks to some drugs and a few days off of work.) Diagnosis?- Sciatica. Most painful thing EVER I am told by women who’d rather have several babies at once with no drugs than five minutes of this pinched-nerve back trouble. Prayers appreciated!

Anyhow, I’ll be back Monday with a giveaway in conjunction with a devotion I’ll have running at Proverbs. Then, my  18 year-old daughter will be guest posting a few days next week. She will post some holiday musings of hers I read on her Facebook that I’ve asked her to share with you. Get out the tissues, ladies….I’m just sayin’…..

Happy “one-more-week-of-shopping” everyone! Got a tip for you to get a boatload of free stocking stuffers, but first I want to talk about something that makes many Christian’s blood boil this time of year.

It is the “crossing out of Christ” many refer to when they see the term Xmas used instead of Christmas. It offends them, it ruffles their feathers and sometimes, it even causes them to say and do mean things to those who have used that horrible X instead of the word Christ. Or, sometimes others sweetly inquire as to why someone uses that X, as a Facebook friend of mine did not too long ago. Her comment got me thinking and I’d like to address this practice here.

Once upon a time, “Xmas” ticked me off too. However, when in college I learned the origin of this practice, I ceased my feelings of “ticked-ness” Let me tell you why….

I used to think people were crossing out Christ when they put an X. However, I found that through church history we can trace the usage of the symbol X for Christ (like the symbol of the icthus fish for Christian)

In many manuscripts of the New Testament, X abbreviates Christos (Xristos). In ancient Christian art, X and XR (Chi Ro–the first two letters in Greek of Christos) abbreviate His name. This practice turned up in the Old English language as early as AD 100. Also, the Bible translator Wycliff and other devout Christian believers regularly used X as an abbreviation for Christ.

I use an X occasionally when I post on the Internet, mostly because when I update my status via Twitter I am limited to 140 characters. It is just a shortcut for me and I know that I am in good company when I use an X as a symbol for Christ. I also think of Christ dying on the cross when I cross that X. In fact, every time I write a capital X now for any reason, I always think of it being a symbol for Christ.

Now, for those people who really are anti-Jesus and use an X to replace his name on purpose…..well, I find it humorous that they think they are “crossing Him out” when in fact they are using a treasured church history symbol for our Lord instead. He he!

Now, for a last minute shopping tip… For any of you gals who live in an area of the country that has Rite Aid and Walgreens Pharmacies, these stores are offering free $25 gift cards if you will transfer a prescription to their store.

Now, we usually don’t have many on-going scripts but did have a few refill situations come up this month. So, I transferred two scripts from Rite Aid to Walgreens and two from Walgreens to Rite Aid. Voila! I now have $100 in gift cards to use to stuff stockings for Christmas! That was easy! (Oops….no…that is Staples, right? My bad.)

These stores have great individual Christmas candies like Snickers Reindeer and Reece’s Peanut Butter trees, make up and perfumes, guy shampoos and body sprays, candles, stationary, fun soft drinks, nuts, treats…and on and on….. all free to me now thanks to about 1/2 hour of my time while running errands one day!

Thought you’d like to know…

Now, to leave a little money on one of those cards and then hint to my dear hubby what perfume I’d like……

Christmas AND Xmas Blessings,

“Ya take the good, ya take the bad, ya take them both and there you have the Facts of Life…..”

It was 9:00 pm on a Wednesday night in the early 1980′s. I made sure my homework was done, my clothes were all ready for the next day, and my chair was closer to the TV than my brother’s, just in case he had the bright idea of hopping up and turning the dial off of NBC channel 10. (FYI…for those of you much younger than I, there were no remote controls then and our television only got in four channels!!!)

Yep….it was time to spend a half hour with my television friends Tootie, Natalie, Jo and Blair.

I especially connected with Blair.

And her hair.

I so wanted to have “Blair hair”.

So did thousands of other girls across the nation. I nearly popped a circuit (with two different curling irons and a set of my mom’s old hot rollers from the late 1960′s plugged in and perched on our bathroom counter) as I attempted to acquire my own “Blair hair”…… to no avail.

Fast forward about twenty years…..

I was sitting in our church’s foyer perusing a pamphlet I’d found. In it was a story about Lisa Cauble, pastor’s wife, homeschooling mom of three and the woman who, years earlier, had been the very Blair Warner whose hair I so coveted. I read the article, discovering that she had left showbiz and had instead dedicated her life to being a wife to Steve and mom to Tucker, Haven and Clancy. I knew right away we simply HAD to have her come speak to us at a Hearts at Home conference for moms!

In the fall of 2002, Lisa did just that. I had the pleasure of meeting her. She had the pleasure of hearing myself, along with three friends, sing a little parody of the Facts of Life theme song put to “mommy” lyrics to fit the conference. (NOTE TO SELF: When meeting other famous, TV star people in the future, do NOT make up a silly parody theme song. They might not be as gracious as dear Lisa. In fact, they might think it is downright stalkerish and promptly call security!)

Today, I am fortunate that Lisa is my friend and has been a wonderful roll model for my nearly 19 year old Mackenzie. We have kept in touch, have spoken at various events together over the years and when she is in Michigan speaking, Kenzie and I offer to help her husband Steve run her book table.

That man is a GEM!!!!!! (No wonder! Reminds me so much of my own handsome, “how-can-I-help-you-out-honey?” husband) Seriously ladies, I wish he had about three single brothers for three of my single friends. I’d be doing the matchmaker dance in no time at all! And what a story about how they got married! It is Kenzie’s FAVORITE!!!! Maybe I’ll have Lysa back sometime to tell it….or you’ll just have to read her books and find out for yourself!

But, I digress!

I can attest to you now that Lisa is the real deal. She loves the Lord, her family and helping girlfriends all over to become better moms, wives and Christian women. She writes awesome Christmas letters, loves anything deep fried (although her figure would never tell you!) and is simply NOT diva-like in way, shape or form. In fact, she is exactly the opposite of Blair! This is a woman who was kind enough to quietly forgo her speaking fee at an event we appeared at together and tell the church to send it to me instead. (Lisa—PLEASE don’t get mad at me for telling. You didn’t want to tell anyone you did that. You never said I couldn’t!!!)

Little did she know, my hubby was facing a months-long layoff and we didn’t have enough money set aside to pay our bi-annual property taxes. When the check arrived in the mail, it was almost to the dollar the exact amount we owed! Yes, ladies, this gal loves the Lord, listens to Hims and helps teach the rest of us how to do the same.

Today, Lisa is going to join us to talk a little about her Christmas, give away a wonderful book and ask our thoughts on a new one she is writing. So gals, get ready to meet YOUR new cyber girlfriend Lisa Whelchel!!!

Lisa, what is life like at your house during this crazy/busy Christmas season?

Well, the weeks leading up to Christmas have been pretty hectic. I am writing a new book and the manuscript is due later this week. So, I have been taking 2-3 days a week to get away and write. It has been kind of hectic juggling writing and Christmas but the two weeks after Christmas, we have nothing planned but being together as a family. Tucker will be home from California where he attends college and the girls are still here in Texas, one at a local college and one still in high school. It will be really nice to just be together and enjoy the stillness. I also bought a MacBook and have been too busy to learn how to use it so I will be spending some quality time with my family and my laptop!

You have a passion for helping moms point their kids to Christ in the midst of the sights, symbols and activities of the holiday season. Your book, The ADVENTure of Christmas, (a yearly staple at our house for the past 5 years, I might add!) does just that. Can you tell our cyber sisters a little bit about it and why you wrote it?

When our kids were little, I wanted so badly to give them great Christmas memories like I had growing up. However, there seemed to be a trend in some Christian circles to not do some of the traditions of Christmas because, on the surface, they seemed to be secular and had nothing to do with Jesus, the real reason for the season.

It was then that, instead of just doing (or not doing) what everyone else was, I made the whole issue a real matter of prayer. Feeling like Jesus had gotten lost in the frenzy of the holiday season, I asked the Lord to show me what I could do to teach my children the true meaning of Christmas.

I was caught off-guard when He simply replied, “Don’t do anything differently. Look in the middle of the celebration and you will find Me.”

He was right! There is no need to orchestrate moments to pontificate about “the commercialization of Christmas.” Instead, Jesus is beckoning us to come to the party and bring the kids. In doing so, we run into Him at the mall, the movies, even at school. He hides in the lights, the carols, and the cards. He is there when we dress the evergreen tree, when Dad dresses up in a red suit, and even when we eat turkey and dressing!

My book The ADVENTure of Christmas is a guide for moms concerned that their children are losing sight of Jesus in the midst of the distractions the holiday season brings. Instead of abandoning the traditions of Christmas, as a  family rediscover their original meanings, which were intended to remind people of God’s unfathomable gift. Hanging lights on the house, wrapping gifts, and decorating the tree can be opportunities to teach your children and grandchildren about how they relate to Jesus’ birth. With The ADVENTure of Christmas, mothers can redeem what’s been lost from the very symbols that are gentle reminders of the true meaning of Christmas.

(Karen’s footnote: And this gorgeously illustrated, hardcover book tackles 25 traditions of the season, giving their historical origin, their intended purpose and even lists discussion questions to help your kids discover Jesus in the midst of whatever topic is being addressed that day. But it isn’t just for small kids. In fact, later today I am holding a “Baking Day with Mom E.” for some of Kenzie’s college-aged friends here in Michigan and intend to utilize the section on the tradition of Christmas baking!)

Lisa, as a sweet holiday gesture, you’ve offered to give one fortunate gal a personalized copy of this wonderful resource to use year after year with her family. But in order to be entered to win, the gals must leave a comment.  What should they tell us?

Well, since I am meeting lots of new friends today and am busy trying to finish my latest book entitled Friendship for Grown Ups; Lessons I Missed and Learned Along the Way, I’d really like to hear from everyone about the topic of friendship.

Christmas is a time for remembering friends or sending long distance friends a Christmas letter or picture. But what are some ways you connect with your nearby friends on a day-to-day basis? There can be many challenges present in the friendships of women; challenges we need to overcome. I’d like to know what ways your readers have learned to connect heart-to-heart with their girlfriends in practical and tangible ways, maybe avoiding some of those challenges that might otherwise have occurred.

So tell me, what do you do (or what are you careful not to do) when it comes to forging, nurturing and maintaining friendships with those you love? What are some practical ways you go deeper in your relationships and help point each other to Christ? I am just finishing up the section in my book on this and would love to know!

Thanks Lisa for carving time out during this very full week to spend a few moments with us and we can’t wait to read that new book!

You are so welcome, Karen. Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Okay gals…hop on now and leave your friendship comment. One of you will be chosen to receive Lisa’s Christmas book. She will personalize it to your family, using your last name, and will autograph it too. I know it will become your most beloved Christmas book ever! Winner announced tomorrow. (Yesterday’s winner is announced at the bottom of this post)

And, for those of you who want to purchase an autographed and personalized copy for yourself, here is the info.

The book retails for $20, but Steve and Lisa are offering it to you for $15 (plus $3.95 shipping)! Remember that Lisa can not only sign the book as the author, but can personalize it to you and your family, or to those to whom you are presenting it as a gift.  What a special present!  And think—where else can you find a gift for the entire family that will be used for the entire month of December every year for only $15—and one that’s also personalized to them by the author?  (Keep in mind, too, that these books make excellent “Teacher Gifts” and that teacher’s love sharing the stories with their classes—and it’s a “legal” way to get the gospel into the classroom!) Click here for more info on purchasing.

Finally, the winner of yesterday’s giveaway– the peppermint themed gift box and Jennifer Silvera’s book Believe is: Christina in KY; timestamp 12/14 at 2:03 pm

Please email me at karen@proverbs31.org to give me your mailing address. Congrats!

Merry Christmas and Friendship Blessings,

Oh boy…. I can hardly contain my excitement. I have SO MUCH to cover today that I’m not quite sure where to begin.

First of all, I want to give a Christmas welcome to those of you who have made your way here via the devotion I have running on Crosswalk.com and at Proverbs 31. Haven’t read it yet? You’ll want to peek at it before reading the rest of this post. Click here to do so.

Next, I know many of you are here to see the list of winners from the 12 Days of Christmas giveaways. PLEASE…..be patient and don’t just scroll through to the end of the post to see if you won. It is kind of like dumping out your stocking on Christmas morning and then totally rushing the ripping open of gifts. It takes the thrill and suspense out and is over in 3 1/2 minutes. It is so much better to savor the process s-l-o-w-l-y.

So please, read today’s post. It is on an important holiday topic. (And, there are two giveaways offered today too, in case you didn’t win any of the 12 Days prizes)

Finally, I have a HUGE surprise interview and giveaway announcement about tomorrow’s guest. And yes, I’ll make you wait until the end of this post to discover, through a series of hints, just what sweet girlfriend will chat with us tomorrow. You will love her! (Just like many of you loved her in the 1980′s right there on your 19-inch, console color television screen—hint #1!! )

Okay–first things first.

As I stated in today’s Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today devotion, for many people the holidays hurt. They are reminders of what once was; of those family members or friends who were dearly loved, who now are sorely missed and who simply are not coming back. Or, in the case of a divorce or separation, it brings pain of what might have been if life had not taken a turn toward the tearing apart of a family.

I wanted to address this topic here today, but don’t feel totally qualified. So, I’ve asked my beautiful friend Jennifer Silvera, a Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference graduate ( which is where I met her) and brand new author, who was widowed just a few short years ago, to join us.

For Jennifer, an ordinary day turned tragic when she received the news that the love of her life and the father of her two small children would not be coming home from work that day, nor would he ever come home from work again. She suddenly found herself a young, stunned and grieving widow, not sure just where to turn.

I have asked Jennifer to tell us what did, and did not, help when she faced that Christmas season without her husband. But first, a little background on Jennifer’s story and her beloved husband Shawn.

On September 6, 2005, Lino Lakes Police Officer Shawn B. Silvera was killed in the line of duty while assisting in a high-speed chase on Minnesota Interstate Highway 35W. Officer Silvera was struck by the suspect’s car after deploying stop-sticks. He died serving his community; displaying actions that typify what the thin blue line of law enforcement stands for – the threshold between order and chaos. He left behind his wife, a son and a daughter, as well as dozens of other family members and hundreds of friends and citizens who loved him.

Jennifer became a widow overnight. She chronicles her story in her book Believe: A Young Widows Journey Through Brokenness and Back. I asked her to share with us today just what that first Christmas was like without their husband and daddy. She writes:

The first Christmas was a blur…I was numb. I missed him everyday. Not just Christmas. I went on a trip to escape. I couldn’t even step foot in a store. The commercialism of the holiday was so overwhelming and made no sense to me. When life is taken permanently by death it is so hard to find joy!

My advice to those wanting to know what to say to a grieving friend is this: Please, don’t try to make up things that sound good like, “You have an angel in heaven.” We want our angels here! or “God needed him more than you” God is God and needs nothing…God wants us, loves us, forgives us. The grieving heart can’t understand why their loved one is gone. Cliche’s don’t explain loss.

For those who have lost someone in any manner I want to say, “I offer the best I have to comfort you and I am so sorry. I know in truth nothing seems to help. I will pray that each day you face in pain you will keep trying. Each day start again. You are here living for a reason, a purposeful beautiful meaningful reason. And though we can’t explain the loss, I pray for joy to once again find you and for God to hold you tight until that day.”

Wonderful advice Jennifer! Thanks for giving us this valuable insight and for using Shawn’s death to help others find peace. You are a treasure!!!! (And  people—-have you ever in all your days seen a more strikingly gorgeous picture of a mother with her kids?)

Today, in conjunction with this topic you have a chance to win two prizes. One for yourself and one for a friend. First, for you, I am giving away a “just because” gift box for you of the following items:

*A peppermint scented Christmas candle

*Some Ghiradelli Chocolate Peppermint Coffee

*Some peppermint body lotion

* Some Market Pantry Chocolate-Mint Sandwich cookies–for the kiddos

* A Ghiradelli White Chocolate Peppermint bar– FOR YOU!!

Then, Jennifer is giving away a copy of her book.  If you win it, I want you to give it away too.

Please pray about who you might need to read it. I’d love for you to give it away to someone whose life has been touched by grief. Or, if you don’t know anyone personally, would you promise, once you’ve read it, to donate it to your church or town library? I want it to get into the hands of those who would most benefit from experiencing her amazing story of hope.

And Jennifer was kind enough to sign the book too.

In order to win the prizes, simply leave a comment today.

I want it to be a comment straight to Jennifer. It can be on her loss. On her words of advice to us. On your gratitude to her as an officer’s wife, for sharing her husband with the citizens he promised to protect. Why, it can even be on how darling her children are.

Just say something to encourage my friend facing her fifth Christmas without her husband.

I thank you in advance for the few short seconds it will take to bless her life today.

Now….I know you have been patient, so here we go! The 12 Days of Christmas winners and then…THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

The winners are:

Day One- Amy Carroll-  Christmas Message “With” and $10 Starbucks card: doozer; timestamp 2:56 pm on 11/30

Day Two: Lynn Cowell- CD message “Building a Bridge to Your Child’s Heart”: Mary Lou; timestamp 4:36 pm on 12/13

Day Three- Melissa Taylor- Grammy’s special peppermint sticks, Christmas dish, & a $15 iTunes cards- Martha; 5:53 pm on 12/7

Day Four: Holly Good- a $10  Bath & Body Works card and  $5 Starbucks card- Monica; timestamp 11:26 pm on 12/13

Day Five: Melanie Chitwood- $20 Target gift card- Diana H; timestamp 2:39 pm on 12/8

Day Six: LuAnn Prater- Encouragement Cafe T-shirt and mug- Karla; timestamp 3:00 pm on 12/5

Day Seven: Sharon Glasgow- $15 Target Gift Card-  Jodi Emery; timestamp 11:48 pm on 12/13

Day Eight: Shari Braendel- If Clothes Could Talk workbook- shartemink; timestamp 5:20 pm on 12/7

Day Nine: Wendy Blight- Her book Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner and a $10 Starbucks gift card- Regina; timestamp 5:40 pm on 12/12

Day Ten: Leah DiPascal- Proverbs 31 t-shirt- krisf; timestamp 9:44 am on 12/9

Day Eleven: Suzie Eller- FOUR of her books!!!- Kelsie; timestamp 5:12 pm on 12/10

Day Twelve: Lysa TerKeurst- Her latest book Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl- wendyj; timestamp 12:09 pm on 12/11

AND THE WINNER OF A BONUS PRIZE FOR THOSE WHO LEFT COMMENTS ALL 12 DAYS:   Grace; all comments left on December 12th Congrats! You win a $20 Wal-mart gift card from me. And you MUST promise to spend it on yourself!!!! (Unless $$$ is tight and you need it for stocking stuffers. Just be sure to get a little treat for you too!)

ALL WINNERS: email me asap at karen@proverbs31.org. Give me your home address and which speaker’s prize you won. I’ll forward the info to them so they can get your prize out ASAP!

And finally…….please come back tomorrow as we visit with a friend of mine, talking a little Christmas and a little about a new book she is writing that she wants your input on. And she is giving away a way cool gift  to one of you. Curious who it is? I’ll give you a few more hints….

• She is a sought-after author and speaker, taking “the good and bad” of our daily days and helping women see God in the midst of it all.
• It’s also a “fact of life” that she is a wife and homeschooling mom of three
• She simply loves celebrating Jesus’ birthday, and celebrating big (just like her 1980′s hair! ). In fact, I’ll bet she has Christmas music “Blairing” at her house as we speak!

Give up? Tune in tomorrow to be surprised. Or if the suspense is killing you, the answer is a click away….

Don’t forget to leave your  simple comment for Jennifer today to be entered in today’s peppermint gift box and Believe book giveaway! The winner will be announced tomorrow.

Christmas Collage Blessings,

WEEKEND UPDATE: Just got word of ANOTHER great interview and giveaway happening next Tuesday you WON’T want to miss. I am so excited, I can hardly stand it! Kinda like a kid at Christmas!!!!

So, on your check list, make sure to do the following:

• Comment on all 12 Days of Christmas posts;
  
• Join us Monday for the awarding of the 12 prizes(and a bonus prize for one person who comments on all 12 posts);
• Enter to win a new contest Monday in conjunction with a Proverbs 31 devotion I’ll have running and then,
• Tune back in Tuesday for ANOTHER awesome Christmas interview and giveaway with someone I’m sure you’ll all know!!! FUN, FUN, FUN!!!!!!!
  

NOTE: If you are just joining us in our 12 Days of interviews and giveaway goodies, click here to get caught up. You can enter to win the prizes on any of the 12 posts until midnight EST on this coming Sunday, December 13th.

Today is our last day together in the 12 Days of Christmas journey. Makes me kind of sad. I love connecting with you each day, reading your comments and getting new ideas. If you are new to this blog and found your way here by way of this series, keep coming back, okay?

I love finding new friends.

And I love introducing you to my friends too. You get to meet one of my favorite’s today.

But, I want to tell you two important things…..you can leave a comment on all 12 posts until this Sunday evening at midnight EST. Tune back in Monday when the winners will be announced and then ANOTHER giveaway will be offered in conjunction with a Christmas devotion I’ll have running at Proverbs 31 and on Crosswalk.com.

So, if you have time, visit all the posts in this 12 day series and comment. You increase your chances of winning one of the giveaways that way. Oh…..and there may just be one more prize thrown into the pot for one fortunate gal who comments on all 12 posts. I’m just sayin’…….

Now, I saved the 12th Day of Christmas to feature our president at Proverbs 31, Lysa TerKeurst.

I first met Lysa in 2001 (or 2002?) at a Heart at Home conference where we were both workshop leaders. She struck me instantly as a transparent woman who wanted to help others ‘do life’ and do it well, introducing them to the God who had so changed her life. And she struck me as someone who was fun, as she (and my friend and her culprit Julie Barnhill) struck me with paper wads launched from their book tables to mine. When I looked over to see who it was, they’d get all spiritual, put their arms around whomever was standing near, bow their heads and say, “Let’s pray.”! The nuts!

Anyhow….back to Lysa.

Her story is remarkable.

So is her God.

She however, would be the first to tell you that, despite what women sometimes think of well-known authors/speakers/bloggers, she…… is not.

She is ordinary.

She is quick to point out that she struggles with junk drawers, cellulite, having patience with her kids; she asserts, “I feel like a success in my everyday life if I get through the day having spent time with the Lord, exercised in some way, had a laugh with one of my kids, had clean underwear in my husband’s drawer when he needed them, made a friend smile, and limited my chocolate intake within my weight watchers points!”

Yep….Lysa is an ordinary gal, just like us. (In fact, I thought about having my daughter, who spends time each week at the TerKeurst house, sneak and snap a pic of Miss Lysa for this post in her sweats, sans make-up, and undone hair, but I restrained myself. )

Seriously, it is Lysa’s faith in that remarkable God that makes her so sought out as a speaker and successful as an author and treasured as a friend.

So ladies, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce you to my friend, one of my daughter’s part-time employers/mentors….our P31 president and resident ‘God’s girl’, Lysa TerKeurst.

Lysa is a wife to Art, mom to five priority blessings and a nationally known speaker. She is an award-winning author of 12 books including her newest release from Zondervan publishing titled ‘Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl’. She has been featured on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, Good Morning America, Woman’s Day Magazine, “O” Magazine and on the Oprah Show.

Lysa, this is our 12th Day of Christmas here and many of our P31 sisters have been sharing their favorite aspects of Christmas. How about you? Do you have a favorite Christmas song?

Hmmmm… I’d have to say that Silent Night is probably my most favorite.

How about holiday foods? Is there something you enjoy at the TerKeurst home each year at Christmastime?

Yes ma’am….there is! Even though I am a southern girl, I love a dish with a northern name. Every year for Christmas morning, we serve Yankee Spoiler. It is a fabulous dish that I discovered when I was at a party at a Bed and Breakfast once. Our family really looks forward to having it each year. It is a sausage and egg casserole dish that includes grits and cornbread. Yum!

Does your family have any traditions they’ve enjoyed over the years?

When my girls were little, I would tell them the story of the first Christmas by making cookies in the shapes of bells, hearts, angels, stars and trees. Using these symbols, we would work our way through spelling out the real meaning of the holiday.  In fact, years ago, I turned that idea into a book called The Sweetest Story Ever Told. Even though my kids are older, they still enjoy this activity.

Speaking of books, any favorite Christmas book you or your family enjoys?

Well, there isn’t any one book in particular. However, I do enjoy reading and sharing the account of the first Christmas written in the Bible in Luke chapter 2. You just can’t improve on God’s word!

When it comes to God’s word, you have a passion for inspiring women to not just study the Bible, but to apply it successfully to everyday life situations too.

Yes I do. Have you ever gone to Bible Study, felt all spiritually empowered, and then came home an hour later only to have a melt down over bleach being spilled on your favorite shirt?  Or one of the other one million things that can invite us women to have a good old fashioned emotional tirade?  The danger of these moments is this question that weasels its way into the core of our soul, “Why doesn’t Jesus seem to make a difference in my real life stuff?”  It’s easy to sit in Bible study and theorize spiritual answers, but how effectively is all this translating to our everyday life?

Your latest book speaks to this topic, addresses the issue of connecting with God in a real way over our Bibles each day, and provides women with answers. Tell us about it.

Sometimes in the rush of everyday life, it’s easy to reduce our devotion time with Jesus to being just another item on our to-do list— Something else that’s required of us for which we simply don’t have the time.  We know we shouldn’t feel this way about God and we hear other Christians making much of their thriving devotion time.  Shame sneaks in wagging its fingers and hissing out accusations that it will never be better for us so why even try.

There is a chapter in the book that frees women from the to-do list mentality regarding her devotion times and equips and empowers her to make this the most essential part of her day.  Not because she’s supposed to do it, rather because she can’t imagine her daily life without it. She’ll learn it is possible for her to unpack spiritual truths for herself, read verses in the context they were written, understand how these verses apply to her daily life, and practical ways to live out what she learns.

That is awesome! (That is not just an expression. I actually know. I have read this book and am leading a study on it at my church in January!) Well, for your giveaway to close out our series, what are you offering to one of our readers who leaves a comment on this post?

I will send her a signed copy of the book we have been chatting about. It is called Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl. To take a peek at it, click here.

Thanks for popping over today Lysa. And I want to thank you and my other P31 sisters personally for all you have done for our daughter since she moved from Michigan to Charlotte in August. I’d tell you to keep her away from that Yankee Spoiler, but I think my little Yankee has already been spoiled. She now guzzles sweet tea by the gallon and actually has been occasionally overheard saying “Ya’all”!!!!

Now, ladies…..this is your last shot to enter for a giveaway. Today, let’s be a little more serious. When it comes to Jesus, the greatest gift ever given to mankind (and womankind! ), how hard/easy/complicated/glossed-over/stagnant/vibrant is your relationship with Him and with reading the Bible?

Ever tried reading it? Did you once read it regularly, but now your passion has waned? Do you have goals for 2010 that include Bible study? Could you use some advice on how to actually live out your faith in the midst of your own crazy/busy/sometimes frustrating life? Leave a comment on this topic and you’ll be entered to win Lysa’s book. And yes, I’ll say it again….if today is one of those crazy, busy times, you can simply leave a comment stating, “I’m in!”.

Merry Christmas everyone. Don’t forget to hop on here Monday to see if you won any of the 12 Day prizes or the special bonus prize for someone who leaves a comment on all 12 posts. And remember, there is another big giveaway on Monday you won’t want to miss! (oh…this is so fun! It really is more blessed to give than receive!)

Giveaway Blessings.

On the 11th Day of Christmas….. you get to meet one of the newest members of the Proverbs 31 speaker team! Oh, I think you are going to love her as I do. (If you are just joining us in our 12 Days of interviews and giveaway goodies, click here to get caught up. You can enter to win the prizes on any of the 12 posts until midnight EST on this coming Sunday, December 13th.)

Suzie Eller and I have known each other for years. We both speak at Hearts at Home conferences and first became friends years ago as we chatted at our book tables or shared a quick lunch between sessions. I soon learned what you are about to discover: she is a treasure.

Suzie has a zest for life, a deep love for God, a knack with teens and hurting women and excels at all things ‘techy’. She even taught yours truly how to Twitter — or is it Tweet?– when we were roomies at last year’s P31 She Speaks Conference.She is friendly and stinkin’ cute, with a love of fun and funky shoes to match! Suzie really is an incredible woman with an incredible life story. (If you have time, click here to read it. Especially if you come from a difficult childhood. You won’t be sorry!)

Now, meet my friend Suzie! (And check out her FABULOUS giveaway!!!!)

T. Suzanne Eller (Suzie) is the author of several books and hundreds of articles. She’s been featured on TV and radio programs, sharing her story of overcoming faith and living free. Suzie is married to Richard, a guy she still loves like crazy, and is mom to Ryan, Leslie, and Melissa and her much-loved in-law children, Kristin, Stephen, and Josh. She lives in Oklahoma. You can learn more about her at: http://tsuzanneeller.com

Suzie, can you share a tradition your family has enjoyed over the years?

My kids are in their twenties, and married. The traditions are more important than ever—for them! We have become the “hub”. It still feels strange that we are now the hub, when our parents used to be that for us when our children were younger. We have several traditions. We always have a special breakfast. All the guys cook while Christmas music plays. Richard reads the Christmas story from Scripture and we pray together as a family. Then we open presents one at a time. There is tons of laughing, teasing, and genuine fun during the opening presents. Presents are personal. A lot of thought is put into the present.

How do you intentionally focus on Christ in the midst of all the flurry of activities that happen in December?

18 years ago I found out I had cancer. Now that’s a bummer way to start this story, but that period of time taught me a lot. It taught me what was important, and what was not. I learned to slow down and savor life and people and moments, rather than trying to have an elegant dinner or picture perfect Christmas. We still have great foods and there are lots of pictures and memories, but the atmosphere is relaxed and focused on Him, and each other.

What has been your most memorable Christmas as an adult?

Growing up was hard because my family was chaotic, so every Christmas with my children and Richard seem super special. Last year Kristin (my DIL) was in the kitchen dancing playfully. My SIL Stephen was joking with Richard nearby. Melissa and Leslie were tucked close, just talking, and Ryan was telling a story to whoever would listen. Music played in the background. That’s home to me. That’s family. So every Christmas that I have with these very special people is memorable.

What activities do you most look forward to doing with your family at the holidays?

Playing ping pong, playing Wii, Apples to Apples, and cards.

You are offering a great giveaway today to one of our cyber sisters. Can you tell us about it?

Four (FOUR!) of my books:

• The Woman I Am Becoming
• The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give a Great Future 
• Making It Real: Whose Faith is It Anyway?
• Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parent Needs to Know

(Click here for the descriptions of Suzie’s books.)

WOW! Thanks for the great giveaway Suzie, and thanks for hanging out with us today!

Here we go, gals. If you want to be entered to win Suzie’s books, leave a comment answering this Christmas shopping question: Since Suzie is very tech savvy and I am a store shopping nut, do you prefer to shop at the stores while braving the crowds or on-line while at home in your jammies?

Do tell….

Shop-til-You-Drop Blessings,