Hi Jennifer and Karen, this blog touched me deeply. I have had a lifetime of grieving it seems. My mom died at an early age but my (grand)Mommie that raised me passed in 2006. Even though this is my favorite time of year I am grieving because her birthday is Christmas day. I always baked her a special cake because she shared her love of baking with me. Now instead I “adopt” one elderly person each year for Christmas in her honor. I loved your comment about what people should say. I hate it when people apologize for my loss because they did not cause it and cannot change the circumstances. I just ask, like you, that they sincerely pray for me. Thank you both for a wonderful blog. I think I will do my own giveaway of some of my baked goodies. I just wanted to comment, I do not want my name entered in the giveaway. Thanks for allowing me to share.

Dear Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story and exactly how you felt during your first Christmas. I lost my husband this past year and am personally finding it difficult to face but I decided to reach out and meet others in my community who were also widowed. So I joined a bereavement group. There I met a young woman with two young girls, age 2 and 6 who also suddenly lost her husband. She is lonely and struggling and I have been trying to encourage her. I would love to purchase your book and give it to her to read. Maybe it would even help me through my pain. I live in Sault Ste. Marie, Canada and I would love to know where I can purchase your book. Thanks again for sharing and being honest. Christmas will never be the same again for me. I was married for 37 years and was raised in a godly home and learning to give to other widows is helping me through my pain of missing my husband who died because of cancer. Your picture of you and your two children gives hope. May God bless you richly with Himself. I have learned that only He can satisfy my needs.
Looking for some encouragement today, the Lord directed me to read Karen’s blog which I believe was all of Him.
Giving thanks to the Lord for He truly cares.
Pauline Henson

Thank you for sharing what the Lord has set upon your heart. Each and every day the Lord blesses me through this ministry. Thank you again for serving our amazing risen Savior!

Thank you….

Dear Jennifer,

Being able to come out and share your story is courageous and very generous of you,because i believe that in so doing you are encouraging others with similar experience to show amazing courage also.

I pray for you today that our Lord Jesus will comfort you the more,give you abundant grace to be able to take care of your children,supply all your needs both physical,spiritual and material and make you worthy of his kingdom whenever he shall come.

Shalom!

Jennifer – although I don’t know what it is like to lose a spouse, I lost my mom in December. I was only thirty years old at the time. That Christmas, I felt numb and even though I knew she was in Heaven, I wanted her with me.

Over twenty years later, I still miss her (I don’t think we ever stop missing those whom we love), but time helps to heal the pain and hurt.

I know of a grieving widow who just lost her husband after a long battle with cancer. This Christmas will be hard on her and her children (one is a teen). May God bless you.

Karen – thank you for this timely post.

Dear Jennifer, After reading what beautiful wisdom you had to give to young widows, I would love to have your book to share with others who face the same situation. I am older than you and my friends who are widows were not left with young children, but I am sure your words of wisdom have come from our Heavenly Father and they would give them strength and encouragement too. Thank you for not wasting your sorrows, but to look to Him and be used of Him. May He bless you much more than I could ever ask of Him.

May you feel His presence in a special, strong way this Christmas season.

Dear Jennifer and Karen,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I just lost my daughter-in-law a few weeks ago who battled with cancer for 5 years. She was only 30 and leaves a 5 year old daughter and my son. We are all still in the numb stage and don’t really know which way to turn EXCEPT to our God. This Christmas is going to be especially difficult and it is hard to know what to do next. I don’t really know how to help them except keeping them covered in prayer and being there when they need me. You are so right about the cliches people come up with — nothing seems to be the right thing to say and most of the time you don’t know how to answer them. I am very sorry for your loss and will keep your family in my prayers!!!!

God bless you and your children!! Merry CHRISTmas!!!!

Jennifer,

Thank you for your words. I would love a copy of your book to give to my friend who lost her mother a couple of years ago. It’s been very tough for her.

Thanks! Merry Christmas!

Rebecca

I live in MN, just a half hour away from your dear husbands accident. I believe I even remember it happening! So sorry for your loss. I enjoyed “meeting” you through your words. I started a non profit, and will keep you in mind as we move forward and bring in speakers at some point. Hopefully sooner rather than later!! Ü

And Karen I guessed who the interview is with tomorrow in your opening comments! Ü just heard her speak at WOF!

Thank you Karen and Jennifer

Jennifer, may God bring you and your beautiful children joy this Christmas, and continue to heal your hearts.
Thank you for the sacrifice you made. I have a friend who is a state trooper’s wife, and I see the many sacrifices that being an officer’s wife entails.
I also lost my Grandma in October, and though it wasn’t my husband, my love, my soul mate, I know that Christmas will never be the same without her.

I pray many blessings for you this Christmas!

Hi! I too am grieving for just recently losing my father to pancreatic cancer. It was so short of DX until his death (2wks) that my heart aches everyday. I also lost my mother two years ago to cancer. So, finding joy in the season is hard, but I need to constantly tell myself there is celebration of them being with our Lord. I too feel the numbness and disbelief, and can’t imagine how you must feel, nor your young children. God be with you as you continue to greive and know your husband was an honorable man to die in line of duty. Blessings to you as you celebrate in the bosom of our Savior for his ultimate gift to us.

Thank you for sharing. A friend of mine just lost her husband. He was only 32 years old. His 13 year old son found him on Thanksgiving morning dead in bed. He has a 13 year old son, a 10 and 7 year old daughters. It just broke everyone at our church’s hearts. I know this book would somehow be a bit of a blessing to her in this horrible time. So tragic, so raw and will be such a hard holiday for them. Thankyou.

dear jennifer, 3yrs 8 mos. ago my son died. at his funeral i learned all of the things i’ve ever said at afuneral were wrong. no one knows what it’s like until they lose a child or a spouse. my husband was a sheriff deputy for 28 years , he retired as captain of drugs and vice. knowing ofso many unexpected [due to nature of call] police officer deaths, i know iam truly blessed that he survived. my heart goes out to you, so young for sucha loss. and i know your heart aches for your children, where’s daddy?, what can a grieving woman say, i”ve lost my lover, my life partner, my family leader”, and yet you have to be there for your children. the prayers of my bible study group have kept me in God’s eyes these last few years and i am so very thankful for that. i would love to read your book. here are the words i wrote to myself after john died…”i thank God for giving me this lovely boy to enjoy for 22 years, but i will never stop loving him or aching for him.” now almost 4 yrs. later i can tell you that the intensity of our grief abates but you are never the same, this is not acliche , it’s true,even though in the beginning we do not want to hear it,we rage against any thought of not missing them miserably all the time. these are the verses i chose to put in my ”john book”…ps.13:1-2….2sam12:[22],23….hos.13:14. hope this helps and that your children are happy again. diane

Thank you Jennifer for sharing what to say, and what to do. A young woman in our church with four children just lost her husband unexpectedly and I’ve been wondering how to comfort. I think your book would be a perfect gift, as we all need someone who truly understands to walk beside us in those hard times.

Karen, it was fun being a part of the giveaway. I can’t wait to send some books to one of your readers.

Suzie

Hi, Jennifer –

I just wanted to let you know that your story and words touched me deeply. This is my first Christmas as a widow (my husband passed away in May after a very hard-fought battle with cancer) and your words of encouragement this morning have really meant a lot. Thank you so much, and God bless you!

Today is not a good day for me. My Mom died 3 years ago today after suffering from Alzheimers so I know how sad Christmas time can be when you’ve lost someone you love so much right at Christmas time. My daughter-in -laws Mom died just a few days before Thanksgiving. She was also one of my best friends. We watched her twindle away from ALS, Lou Gerhigs Disease. Both disease’s are so devastating and rob the sufferer of all dignity. My daughter-in-law has been the rock for her family. She helped care for her Mom, as I did mine, and has been extremely helpful to her Dad. She also lost her job over a year ago so she and my son have been suffering financially. Winning the gifts you are so graciously giving would help to lift her spirits. God gave me a gift when my son married her so how nice it would be for her to recieve this gift.

Dear Jennifer,
I have three friends that lost their fathers to cancer within about a 3-month time period. I have been at a loss for ways to communicate with them in a way that will be meaningful and not hurtful or trite. Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will very much take them to heart.

Kristi

Jennifer,
Thank you for sharing your heart. You are a courageous woman. Words escape me right now, but you and others who have posted who have lossed a loved one are in my prayers. I pray that you would find joy-even just a hint of joy- each day.

Again, I thank you,

Amy V.

Jennifer,
I have a friend whose husband passed away in August from a brain tumor. It was an 18 month battle for him and it will be hard on her (and her two daughters) this Christmas season…they are Christians but unfortunately it has somewhat shattered my friend’s faith….thank you for writing this book from your experience to benefit those who are struggling through this difficult season of life. I would love to read the book to better minister to her and the girls and then pass along the book to her.

Jennifer,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am reminded of my mother’s dear friend, who lost her husband about five years ago. It has been very hard for everyone who knew him. He coached football with my dad for 20 years and was like part of my family. The thing I think that has kept my family and hers going is that, while he was here, he touched so many lives. I know that your husband was able to come in contact with so many people and touch their lives in so many ways. While I cannot even begin to imagine your pain, please know that you and your family are in my prayers this holiday season. May God continue to bless you and continue to mend and heal your broken heart as only He can.

Jennifer,
I am very sorry for your loss. I agree with you- those old cliches don’t help a bit! My family and I, too, are experiencing a season of loss and brokeness. My husband’s sweet grandmother just passed away. She and her husband were married for 69 years! Both of my grandmothers also passed away not too long ago. Thank God for children! Our 8 year old daughter and new baby have been our bright spots through all this. I’m sure your beautiful children are a wonderful comfort to you, as well. God, please bless and comfort Jennifer and her family, and bring them through this pain to a place of hope. May they experience Your love through those You will send to be Your hands extended.

A friend just lost her sister tragically. Two little boys are left without a mother. Thanks for sharing what to say (and NOT say) in these situations. God Bless!

Thank you so much for sharing “what not to say” and what to say instead. For me personally, I feel pressure to fix something when it happens and try to say too much or create something that sounds good to bring comfort. I can’t imagine anything bringing more comfort than someone telling you “God is holding you tight.”

Jennifer,
My heart just aches for you and your beautiful children. I lost my daddy at Christmas time (DEC 19, 1971) and the holidays still feel kinda empty, if I let them. One thing for sure is, your children can be soooo proud of their Daddy and always remember him as a hero!! Thanks your suggestions on what to say to the grieving. It seems like I always get so nervous and all I can come up with is “How are you doing”. How crazy is that!! Our pastor lost his wife and he said so many people asked him that question and it really annoyed him. I am so thankful for your words. Praying for you and your family.

Love in Christ,
Dana

Hi Jennifer – beautiful family picture

I have to say that even though I read the devotions every morning, this is the first time I have been on any blog and I am glad I did. A friend of mine just lost her brother and when I attended the funeral, I hugged her and her mom, and I was at a loss for words because I wasnt’ sure what to say. After reading your statement I now have an idea on what to say to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. Be blessed and stay blessed!!

This book jumped off your page at me. My dear friend lost her husband a year ago and has struggled since. She recently told me she was still angry with God. Her husband was also a police officer, and perhaps had he been killed in the line of duty, it would have been a bit more bearable. He died after a routine tonsillectomy, an odd complication of drug interaction and unknowns. Only 37, he left behind two small children who struggle daily without Daddy. I often pray for the right words, knowing my friend isn’t saved, and that I may be the light she needs to find Jesus. This would be a generous gift for her. thank you.

thanks for sharing your story and your thoughts. They mean so much.

Thanks Jennifer. We lost my brother 9 years ago today at age 29. This is always such a tough time and we feel like we are going through it again when the anniversary comes around.

Jennifer – my family experienced much loss this past year although I can’t and won’t compare it to your situation. I know that God has circled his arms around you and has held you tight since that day. I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Jennifer – Your examples of encouraging words to express to a friend who has suffered loss are very helpful. As a nurse I always feel I should have some more insight into how to deal with those who are experiencing loss. But, I don’t – I felt at a loss of what to say. I appreciate your insight into how to encourage & recognize the pain & loss.

I was thankful for the devotion today. Jennifer, your story was inspiring. Also, I really liked the picture of you with your two children. You can see joy on the children’s faces and on yours. I am sure this is the joy that comes only from God. It is wonderful to know that you have taken an incredibly hard thing that you do not understand and have turned it into encouragement for others.

I did not loose a husband to death, but to divorce. I grieved as if it was a death. I have seen how wonderfully God has worked in my life and the life of my children since the divorce. He has blessed me with a wonderful man who is now my husband and wonderful stepdad to my children. I now have the priviledge of working in a ministry at our church called “Fresh Hope”. This is a ministry for single mom’s either by divorce, widowed or never married. I understand and can relate to their pain. I love to see how the power of prayer works in their lives. If I were to win, I would love to give your book to one of these mom’s. It would be such an inspiration to you. Your children are absolutely beautiful and I wish you all of God’s best!

It’s encouraging to know, like Jennifer, and others are willing to share their stories of grief and pain. To surrend that life crushing pain or grief over to God, and let God’s will be done. It’s incredible to know one can rise out of the ashes and be transformed into God’s beauty. To share of oneself with others your thoughts and insights that came from the crushing grief and or pain. I am appreciative of your passion to share your story with others. It means a lot to me. I thank God for you taking the time to share. Remember, it is the deep sorrow that God can use to encourage and inspire others to come to Him.

Thanks, for reminding me to lay down my burdens at the cross.
You are a living testimony of God’s love.
May God continue to bless you, like you have bless us.

Hello Jennifer, This will be my 13th Christmas without my husband. He was killed in an explosion at the age of 42, I had just turned 39. We had two teenaged daughters. It was very hard on all of us, but the one thing that carried us through was knowing that he didn’t suffer and he was with our Lord and Savior. God didn’t promise us smooth sailing, but He did promise that He would be with us in the storm. I know you are an inspiration to others yet there must be times when the ache still seems almost unbearable, when that happens, say “Father hold me.” Hug your babies for me.

Jennifer… God has held and carried you through quite a journey. May His blessings, grace and mercy continue to fall heavily upon you and your family. My children will be praying for your children and I will be praying for you. (Isaiah 40:30-31)

Jennifer,
Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. May God continue to bless your life as you faithfully serve Him.

Jennifer,
Thank you for being open and honest with your pain. Being a wife of a public server is tough, and thank you for your years of servanthood as you served your husband while he was serving others. God Bless you and your adorable kids this Christmas season.

God Bless you and your family. Your husband was a hero. May God use you and your family in a great way.

Jennifer,
Although I have not had such a personal encounter with grief as you have, I have had friends and family close to me and I never know what to say, so I thank you for those words of encouragement to someone going through this very ordeal.

Thank you for sharing your hurt with us. I lost my mom it will be 3 years on Jan 10th and even though God helps you through your grief their will always be an empty hole in my life, for what I loved most I lost and she was only 67 yrs. old. She was a cornerstone in my life! You have such beautiful kids!! May God continue to bless you.

Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I truly needed to hear them because I am going thru a difficult time. Thank you for sharing. May you continue to heal with the love and support of God.
Merry Christmas!!

I would love to win the book to give to a friend who in the past three years has faced unthinkable loss. She is struggling as she celebrates her first Christmas without her husband of 15 years. He died of cancer this past February after a 14 month battle with the disease. She too is a young mother in her mid 30′s with a daughter in third grade. What makes her holiday struggle even harder is that just three short years ago the family lost their 15 month old son while he slept to an undetected heart defect. These losses coupled with the death of her younger brother this summer from a brain tumor at 30, makes you start to wonder how much more can one person can take. Her blog has gone from cautiously hopeful this fall to openly struggling as the holidays have grown closer. I have no idea what to say to her to encourage her and this book from someone who has walked down this path seems like it might be the message of hope she needs to hear.

I can not imagine the pain you are experiencing. I pray that the Lord comforts you and shows his love in a very special way this year.

I thank you for sharing your story with us. I have a friend whose wife is in ICU right now. She will be taken off life support at the end of the week. Your perspective and words are so helpful so we can reach out to him properly. We are trying, but sometimes you just don’t know what to say.
Thanks again for sharing with us and for your husband’s service.

Jennifer,

Have you read the book Crazy Love? It will bless your socks off, and just today I was reading chapter 2 and he was talking about this subject, that you may not be here tomorrow so what will you do today?

God bless you and I pray that he will help you to find the oil of gladness for your mourning!

Jennifer — I found your blog this past year. Cried and cried as I read it the first time. The tribute to your husband. How you keep his memory alive. The day to day grieving and celebrating somehow impossibly intertwined. Your beautiful children and the way you demonstrate in motherhood the beauty of LIVING. The precious note of encouragement you gave your husband on the day of his death. I read and wept. I prayed. I re-committed… to living. Loving. Encouraging.

I subscribed to your blog and have since been continually uplifted and encouraged along the journey. You are a mentor to me. Showing me the daily keeping-it-real moments, walking in victory — even when my efforts are clumsy at best at times. Your life, your story… raw, beautiful… an outpouring of grace.

May God bless you abundantly.

Jennifer – I have only been a widow for 3 short months and the fog I am living in right now is unbelievable. I have a 10 yr old son and 13 yr old daughter. I just finished your book on Christmas Eve. I bought it for myself as a gift because I was looking for encouragement. You are encouraging me to just move. I don’t know what else to do but move right now. I know you can relate to these feelings and I just wanted to take a minute and thank you for your book and for the inspirational words that it contains. May the Lord bless you and your family and watch over you.