Well, I’ll bet many of you within the sound of my voice…uh…er…I mean within the reach of my typing fingers have vowed to get organized in 2010. I have chatted here in the past randomly about both managing your time and organizing your stuff. Well, this year, I want to talk more purposefully about both of those topics; topics which often trip a sister up, causing her frustration and resulting in lost items, missed appointments and late fees.

I hate to see tripped-up sisters. And I hate when I trip up in these areas too, which I still do more often than I’d like.

So, to kick us off here in 2010, lets pinky promise that we will be intentional about getting our acts together. And let’s make it fun too. I will be giving away a signed copy of my book The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized to one gal who leaves a comment on this post. ( It is worth a quarter more at your garage sale someday if it is signed ) Along with it, I’ll include a Fresh Linen Soy Candle by For Every Body’s. (It is too cute. It has a little clothes pin floating in the top of the wax and smells like freshly laundered clothes. It just screams ‘clean’!) And I’ll tuck in an individual packet of Chocolate Supreme Hot Cocoa Mix from Private Selection.

So, the winner can burn her candle, causing her house to smell all fresh and tidy while she sips on the cocoa and reads the book. Oh, and at some point you’ll actually want to get up and implement the organizational ideas, so don’t get too comfy!

I covered today’s topic once before a long time ago, but it is so foundational that it is worth repeating. So, here we go….

I have the immense pleasure of chatting with hundreds of women every year at my events. So many of you are at such a loss as to what to do with your ”stuff”. And by “stuff” I mean the many piles I see. Piles of paper, piles of kids’ items, piles of assorted kitchen clutter, why, even piles of fabric!!! Do you know what all of those piles are? They are the result of two little words that you have ingrained into your homemaking vocabulary. Two words that you must rid yourselves of if you want to bust up those piles. Those awful two words ladies are….

“For now”

You know, “I’ll set this junk mail here for now.”

“I’ll place these toys and trinkets over there for now.”

“I don’t know what to do with all of this ______(you fill in the blank) so I’ll lay it here for now.”

Girlfriends, our “for nows” are ruining us! And do you realize that every pile is just a stack of unmade decisions? The first time I read that statement years ago in an organizational book it was a revelation for me!!

Part of the problem is that you have not made a decision about where it will go. Thus the piles of “for now”. The bigger part of the problem, however, is not where to put the stuff. It is that you have too much stuff. So, first let’s learn to do a little de-junking, ridding ourselves of the unnecessary clutter.

With what is left, we’ll find a place other than the dreaded culprit piles of “for now” where they currently lodge. And take note: the following system can be used in one room—for you gals with that cluttered home office, messy toy room or catch-all kitchen—or for the really brave at heart, in the entire house!

De-junking Basics

So here is how this works. First, you’ll need five boxes, (Or, if you are tackling a really big room or area, bins or laundry baskets.) They will hold items that you come across that belong somewhere other than where they are at the moment.

Label the first box Put Back. Inside of it place another small lidded container such as a shoe box or plastic tote. This box will be used to collect the items that are out of place in your home. The smaller container will hold items such as pens, pencils, barrettes, and coins so they don’t get lost in the bigger box.

The second box will be labeled Take Back. This will corral all of those items in you home that don’t belong to you and need to be returned somewhere. You know, library books, rented DVD’s, a shoe from your son’s friend who spent the night last week, a pan from the sweet lady from church who made your family brownies two months ago, etc..

The third box will be used for garbage. Label it Toss or Trash. Line it with a garbage bag so that when it becomes full, you can tie it up and transport it to the trash can. If you are a family that recycles, you can also have a box or bin for that purpose too.

Next, you’ll want to have a box for those items that are still in good shape, but no longer needed or wanted at your home. Label this one Charity or Garage Sale. You can even place price stickers on your things at this point if you will be holding a sale. If you will donate your belongings to a charity or homeless shelter, as a box fills up, seal it and put it in your vehicle to be ready to drop off next time you are near a donation center.

The last box in the bunch will be labeled Nostalgia. More on this in a minute.

Before starting, please determine that you will be ruthless. Promise yourself that if you have not used it, needed it (but couldn’t find it), worn it, or enjoyed looking at it in the past year—then you’re going to LET IT FLY!

Haul your boxes into your problem room. Position the boxes in the middle of the floor. Beginning in one corner of the room, pick up an article, and ponder the following:

• Is this item out of place? Place it in the Put Back box.

• Does this item need to be returned to someone or somewhere? Into the Take Back box it goes.

• Is this item in such dire shape that it is no longer usable? Then place it in the Toss box. If it is made of metal, glass, paper, or plastic, it goes in the recycle bin if you are going to add this step too.

• Is this item in fine shape but no longer needed by anyone in our family? Into the Charity or Garage Sale box it goes.

• Now here is the final question: Is this item no longer needed by anyone in our family, but one of my children (or my husband) is so attached to it that if I pitch it now, they’ll be emotionally damaged for life and, yes, someday they will be on national TV spilling their guts to Dr. Somebody about my cruel actions?

Then into the Nostalgia box it goes. All of your kiddos can have a few nostalgia boxes with favorite “keeper” items. I like to attach a note to the item such as “You wouldn’t fall asleep without this stuffed turtle by your side” or “You carried this little lunch pail on the first day of school.”

Once your question and answer exercise is finished, look down in your hand? Is the item still there? It must be:

A. Something you actually want or need and ….

B. It must be located in the proper room of the house.

Continue making a sweep around the entire room, following the same procedure with each item you encounter. Check every drawer, shelf and closet. Make certain you are taking inventory of everything you own. Be ruthless!

Every so often empty out the boxes—put back the out of place items, throw out the trash bags, transfer the storage and nostalgia items to a box that can be placed in permanent storage, and keep on truckin’! What seems like an overwhelming task will soon gain momentum.

Crank up some music you enjoy or pop in a book on cd to help the time pass more quickly. And if you are like me, you’ll discover that this concept works best when following the buddy system. Junk busting is easier with a friend who is, unlike you, not emotionally attached to your stuff. They will help you decide objectively what you will keep and what you will pitch, give away, or sell. When you come to the Tupperware deviled egg holder your Aunt Tillie gave you ten years ago that you never use, your friend will grant you the courage to get rid of it, offering their full assurance that Aunt Tillie will not suffer irreparable harm because of your decision.

It feels so good to de-junk. Every time I do it, (which for me was two and a half days last week–you know, putting away those new items received at Christmas, sorting through clothes that my kids have outgrown and ones I no longer need or wear; turning old wash clothes into rags and washing and putting away the new ones my mom got us for Christmas, etc..)

Yes, every time I do it, I understand why John Wesley said “Cleanliness is next to godliness”

It feels like a brand new start.

Try it. You’ll be glad you carved out time to do it.

And, next week, I’ll post more about what to do once you have dejunked; how to re-set up your rooms in a logical and user-friendly manner, so tune in!

Now, I will leave this post up until the end of Monday giving lots of you a chance to leave a comment for the giveaway.

It can be a comment about your worst cluttered ‘hot spot’ in your home; your biggest organizational challenge- time? paper? kid’s items? your kitchen pantry?

Or, if your are pressed for time, just leave a comment saying “I’m in!” The drawing will be random so you’ll still be entered. You can leave comments up until Monday at midnight EST. The winner will be announced Tuesday morning.

Happy organizing!!!!

Like you I’m sure, I have been both shocked and saddened by the unfolding scandal that swirls around living golf legend Tiger Woods.

The saga perhaps impacts me a bit more than the average ‘Jane’ since golf played a big part in my growing up years. My father loved (and still at the age of 78 loves) the game. In fact, we had a golf green in our back yard growing up. My dad still works part-time as a ranger on the course in the summer. (The guy who drives a golf cart around making sure everyone is following the rules and letting others ‘play through’.) My boys also love the game and have always looked up to Mr. Woods.

Oh, and my young world was rocked by a parental affair that resulted in a divorce and still affects me to this day.

So, upon hearing of the first infidelity, I was disgusted. As more were revealed, my disgust turned to anger. “How in the world can a man do something like that and affect his spouse and kids in such a negative and devastating way?!?!” This will impact his wife and children for years! I know first hand.”

My self-righteous finger began to wiggle and wag.

Then, I remembered something about a little saying; a saying that said every time to point a finger at someone else, three of your own fingers are pointing back at you.

This is how God whopped me upside the head a day or so with that little finger pointing ditty.

Yes, adultery is sin. However,  Jesus Himself once said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5: 27-28)

Looking with lust is a sin too. Can I assert that I have NEVER done that?

My fingers point at me; the guilty one, times three.

Now in my younger days, that was more of an issue. What about now? Is my heart always pure toward my God-given husband?

Nope.

Now it looks (and sometimes sounds) more like this:

“Why can’t you be handy like so-and-so’s husband? He can fix anything! We, however, always have to call a repair man. I wish you were more like Mr. So-and-So”

Or, “Did you hear? Joe took Susie on a cruise. (Or bought her a diamond anniversary ring. Or surprised her with a spa get-away. Or had a dozen roses sent to her. Or this. Or that.) “Must be nice to have a romantic, thoughtful husband! Wish I had one!”

Hmmm….wonder what Jesus would say about lusting after someone else’s husband’s personality or skills too?

And what about my other repeating sins? Yes, Mr. Woods had multiple affairs.

I have multiple outbursts of anger.

Anger can be a sin too.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20.)

How many times have my angry words negatively affected my husband and kids?

I think of the time when Kenz was about six and Mitchell three. I happened by the room where they were playing Legos. As I approached the room, I heard Mackenzie’s voice pipe up as she expressed to Mitchell her immense displeasure. You see, he was not stacking the colorful, snap-together, plastic blocks in a manner that suited her. As I neared the door I heard her sharply declare “No, Mitchell. Not that way! Oh, just give it to me! Anybody with a brain knows they go like this, not like that. Can’t you ever do anything right?”

Her words, though unkind, weren’t the real issue. What bothered me most was that they were spoken with a caustic, condescending tone. I was not going to let her get away with it.

I stepped into the room and with classic mom form – hand on hip, finger pointed, throwing the child’s middle name in for emphasis, I gave it to her. “Mackenzie Leith Ehman! Young lady, I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that to your brother again!”

Without even looking up from her pile of blocks, she quickly and calmly retorted. “Why not, Mama? You talk like that to Daddy all the time.”

Again, my fingers point at me; the guilty one, times three.

Now, please don’t misread me and think I think we should all just wink at these acts of adultery.

No ma’am. They are wrong. Dead wrong.

However, I have decided that every time I read or hear talk of Tiger’s transgressions, I will not wag my finger; I’ll take inventory of my own heart.

I will ‘mind my own sin’. (As I tell my kids often to do)

And I will pray for God to greatly intervene in the life of Tiger and His family; I’ll beg Him for a restored marriage and changed lives; I’ll ask Him not to make a spectacle of this family for the rest of the world to point and gawk at.

Instead, I’ll ask Him to write a beautiful story of redemption; Jesus-filled redemption, for all the world to see.

Hmmm…. I wonder how many media outlets would care to cover that one.

Will you join me? Many headlines are asking, after reporter Brit Hume’s Sunday morning comments “Can Jesus save Tiger?”

You and I both know, the answer is yes.

If Tiger is willing.

Perhaps he’d be more willing with less wagging fingers and more praying believers.

I’m in. Are you?

Soul-searching Blessings,

NOTE: Tomorrow we kick off the new year of Weight Loss Wednesdays. Now, if you haven’t joined our little cyber group of girlfriends, don’t fret! Newcomers are always welcome. You can get caught up by clicking on Weight Loss Wednesdays in the side bar. Just leave a comment on the last post listed there. You can read the others, if you’d like, but it isn’t imperative. Just hop over each Wednesday to join us and check in with how you are doing. You don’t have to tell us what you weigh. You can tell us how much or little the scale moved, if you want. The point is accountability and encouragement for each other. We’d love to have you!

I stopped at one of my all-time favorite resale shops on the way home yesterday from taking my 18 year-old daughter to the airport for her trip back to her home in Charlotte, NC. She is living now with my Proverbs 31 speaking team sister Melanie and her family while she continues her cosmetology training there.

I glanced at my watch and figured she would be in the middle of her 1 hour lay-over at the Detroit airport, just enough time to use the bathroom, change gates and grab a Starbucks with the $$ I tucked in her hand as I hugged her good-bye at security. Then she would be off on the last leg of her trip and home by mid-afternoon.

I sent a quick text to see how her connection was going. She called me right back. “Ughh…. Our plane left Flint late and we just landed. I’m still on the plane. I hope I don’t miss my connection!”

The digital numbers on my cell phone told me she had 27 minutes to catch her flight. I assured her that I had connected in Metro before in only 20 minutes. (picture a middle-aged momma attempting to pull an OJ Simpson, 1970′s style, sprinting– okay jogging–through the airport, leaping over suitcases and passengers seated on the floor with their laptops. A sweet elderly gentleman driving one of those golf carts for the physically challenged took pity on me and drove me the rest of the way to my gate!)

However, that 20-minute, miracle connection was once I was OFF of the plane. She was still stuck on hers.

“Take the people-moving belt thingy, keep checking your gate number on the monitor and I’ll pray. Don’t be too shy to flag down a golf-cart guy if you need to!”

“Yes ma’am” she replied, however she probably was also rolling her eyes at my instructions since she often has flown alone, is a full-grown adult and knows the routine. It just makes my momma heart feel better to give instructions to my girl.

After her own OJ attempt, she reached her gate just seconds after the door had closed on the Charlotte-bound plane. She then was re-booked on the last flight out that night, on the very last seat available.

That plane was scheduled to leave 6 hours later at nearly 8:00 pm.

Bummer.

Here she was, stuck in Metro, which is only 1 1/2 hours from home, for the next 6 hours!

Oh, and with no book to read. (She’d switched one she was reading to her checked luggage in a last minute re-pack.) No free wireless Internet, although she had her laptop with her. No Bible in her carry-on. No paper to write on. Nothing.

Just 6 hours ahead of her to choose one of three things. Browse the shops. People watch. Or pray.

Interruptions. Delays. Inconveniences. Bummer days.

We all have them.

What matters is how we respond to them.

It is funny, I thought I would have a day such as hers this week. God has been pressing on my heart a concept I am learning, and have such a long way to go to finally solidify in my life. I call it “Amen living”

On-line dictionaries will assert, and correctly so, that the use of “Amen” has been generally adopted in Christian worship as a concluding word for prayers and hymns and to express strong agreements. My kids would tell you it was the favorite word of an elderly gentleman who used to make a running ‘Amen commentary’ during our pastor’s sermon each week. Some of the church youth kept themselves entertained by counting the grand total of ‘Amens’ he said each week!

If you asked anyone on the street its meaning, they probably would tell you it is a way to end a prayer or a word to say when you agree with a statement someone makes. Like, “Well, Amen to that one sister!” But this year, for me, I want that word to be so much more.

The word has its roots in the Hebrew language of the Old Testament. At its core, it means “So be it”.

Now, you can take the phrase “So be it” two ways. One, in an “I sure hope that comes to pass!” way when someone says something you like.

Or two, in the way I was challenged to take it a few years back when I borrowed a tape series from my dear friend Suzy. I don’t remember the speaker, I can’t recall the title, but his message was a challenge to me then and I tried to implement it; in a weak, half-hearted way.

In 2010, I want it to be in a strong, whole-hearted sort of way.

But it is a bit scary. He challenged his listeners to Amen living by asserting that, whatever God sent your way—an interruption, delay, inconvenience…..a sick child, a life disappointment, a lost job, …..even cancer…..yes, even death–you said, “Okay Lord. Amen. So be it. Now, what do you want me to learn?”

That is Amen living.

It doesn’t mean we don’t ask for solutions; that we don’t pray for healing; that we take no action.

No! We do all these things…..

And we leave the results up to God.

Whatever His final answer is, we say a hearty “Amen”

I prayed that yesterday for my sweet, stuck-in-the-airport, adult daughter. In fact, I did encourage her to take a bit of action; to march her cute little self up to the NWA counter and make a small fuss—in a sweet, southern-girl and totally Christian sort of way, of course  asking if they could switch her to another airline on a flight leaving sooner.

The answer was no.

They did, however, give her $15 to eat supper with and a $100 dollar voucher for a future flight.

Well, “Amen sister!” (In the first sort of way we say Amen.)

But “Amen sister” in the second way too.

I have yet to talk to her but can’t wait to see why God allowed the bummer day to happen. I do know she was going to be picked up by Miss LeAnn our executive director at P31, affectionately known to us as “Queen”. Since the flight arrived so late, Queenie offered to break out the royal coach past dark and whisk my baby home. I totally love me some LeAnn and I LOVE when Kenna gets to spend time with this incredible ‘Amen living’ woman who was widowed over a decade ago leaving her as a single mom and yet has a full, purpose-filled and ministry-minded life. She is godly. She is amazing. Anytime my baby can rub shoulders with her is a huge plus. Amen.

Well, what about you? Had any holy interruptions, divine delays, or changes of plans you cannot control?

Well, Amen sister….

Gotten some bad news, big or small….. slightly schedule-changing….or completely life-altering?

Well, Amen sister….

Will you join me in making 2010 the year you stop struggling to change your circumstances all the time and, instead, embrace your lot in life, welcoming all God is trying to teach you through it?

I’m game, if you are….

Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Elisabeth Elliot, incredible author and widowed wife of famed missionary Jim Elliot.

“The difference….is Christ in me; not me is a different set of circumstances.”

Are you in? If so, then “Amen, sister!”

So be it Blessings,

Hello, my cyber-sisters.

I have missed you these last nearly two weeks.

However, having my entire family home– enjoying simple days, meals together, sitting in church, talking late at night, watching movies, playing board games, fighting during the board games, fighting for the use of the washer and dryer, no one fessing up as to who left the milk out or the crumbs on the counter……

Ahhhh….it was heaven. Enjoy the holiness of the simple, everyday, days with your loved ones. They truly are sacred, even if you don’t see it while in the thick of them.

While there was lots of catching up to do for Kenz with her friends and extended family, (we hosted four parties and attended two!), I delighted in witnessing a few more “siblings nights”, as my kids have called them through the years. A movie and snacks in big sister’s room, then everyone crashes and sleeps on the floor- (okay…not the princess. She slumbers in her comfy bed with the electric blanket on, after being waited on by her brothers..you know, since they get the privilege of eating and sleeping in her usually ‘off-limits’ room…)

The last siblings night they  spent together was the night we dropped Kenna off in Charlotte while we stayed at the Swope’s. Miss Renee had prepared a delightful space in their bonus room for the boys and another room for Kenz. They all wound up instead out on Renee and JJ’s upstairs loft area, sneaking in one more siblings night. I snapped a picture on my cell….

Last night, I captured a picture of the crew before they headed down to Kenz’s room for the last sibling’s night for a looooong time. (Kenz has no trips scheduled home until she graduates cosmetology school early next fall )

Seems hard to believe that just a few short years ago I was buying gifts for this gang at Christmas that included baby dolls and Legos and footed pajamas. This year,  more grown-up items were appropriate like Starbucks cards, gas money and even an electric razor for my son. Oh my!!!!

At any rate… it is good to be back here, connecting with you. I leave for the airport shortly to drop Kenna off (sniff, sniff) so this will be short. I just wanted to capture a snapshot of 2009 and let you know a bit what is in store for 2010.

2009 brought many features here to my little ole’ blog.

• We launched Weight Loss Wednesdays in mid-October, and it is not too late to join! Simply click here,then go to the last post listed to leave a comment (you can read the weekly posts since then listed on that page too, if you’d like) and then, join us each week as we check in to report how we are doing on the journey to health (and a smaller jean size!)
• We have met many friends, authors, speakers and women, wives and mothers, just like you.
• We have had deep discussions on serious issues like frenemies, and following God
• And we’ve discussed more light hearted topics like cleaning and cooking.
• And always, there are give aways….lots of giveaways.

I plan to continue the giveaways, as much as I can, this year….. (Ahem…..Dear God….. Could you keep helping me find those great bargains and inexpensive goodies, so I can pass them along, please? You are always so good that way….and thousands more ways too!!!)

Also, in 2010, I want to focus more on a few topics near and dear to my heart, my writing and my speaking. A few of these are marriage, mothering, organization and spiritual growth. (We’re going to start with a series on organizing our stuff and managing our time here in January…)

As always, there will be interviews to introduce you to wonderful people who will help you do life and do it well.

I also want to tackle some tough topics too; Tough topics to be determined later, although I have a few in mind already.

Will you join us?

I so *heart* hanging out with my cyber-sisters….when the rest of my life is in order….

Ah yes…..priorities. We are also gonna chat about priorities.

How to set them.

How to live them.

In fact, one of mine is calling me right now….

So…..I am off to the airport to put a precious piece of my heart back on an airplane, headed due south….

Prayers appreciated…..

New Year’s Blessings