Mismatched Candlesticks and a Marriage giveaway
Published February 4, 2010ANNOUNCEMENT: Each day next week will be a different Valentine giveaway—–marriage books, Bath and Body Works products, Valentines goodies and more. Mark your calendar and ‘click’ in!
Have you joined us today by way of the Encouragement for Today devotion I have up over at Crosswalk.com and on our site at Proverbs 31.org? If so, welcome!
PLEASE NOTE: If you haven’t read the devotion yet, you’ll be lost when reading this post so click here to read it. Don’t forget to come back and enter the giveaway!
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My husband Todd and I are mismatched.
He is laid back.
I am high-strung.
He is energized by lots of alone time.
I am energized by being with people.
He loves smooth jazz stations.
I prefer talk radio.
He is “get to the point” already!
I am “tell all the details so it makes a great story”.
He is a simple ham sandwich with a pickle spear and side of chips.
I am a colorful grilled chicken salad with yellow mild pepper rings and snow white feta cheese and crimson dried cranberries with a splash of raspberry vinaigrette dressing and a sunny lemon-poppy seed muffin.
We are just not at all alike.
And it makes for a FABULOUS marriage.
No. Really.
Just like the candlesticks I described in the above devotion, we make a perfect pair.
Even though I am sure a compatibility test would NEVER couple Todd and I together, we are committed to making our mismatched marriage work.
Sometimes I wonder how we ever got married, being that we are so different. However, the old saying is true. Opposites do attract.
And then, they attack!
Living 24/7 with someone who does things so differently than you, who reacts in ways you wouldn’t or who thinks issues are so vital that you think are relative non-issues, well…it is just a set up for disaster!
Nearly 24 years of marriage has taught us that we are NEVER going to agree on every major parenting dilemma; or the proper way to stack the dishes; or which brand of toilet paper to buy. That is BEFORE we argue about which way it should go on the roll. (And people….can I just say, arguing about which way the toilet paper goes on the roll is just plain silly. After all, anyone with any sense knows that the paper should hang off of the FRONT of the roll! 
)
Let’s face it, living with another person, even one you are crazy in love with, is sometimes rocky and rough.
So let me tell you the one aspect of my mismatched marriage that I love.
It keeps me on my knees.
You see, if I had a perfect husband who could meet my every need, I would have no need for God.
And if he had a flawless wife who never yelled or nagged (not that I ever do those things!), he would have no need for a savior.
So that, dear cyber sister, is why I am thankful I have a husband who drives me nuts (and he, a wife who drives him even nutty-er!)
Because….it drives us both straight to Jesus.
For those of you who too are in a mismatched marriage, I have a little giveaway that may help you. It is pictured here (along with our mismatched candlesticks!)
It is a couples “basket-in-a-box” centered around my friends’ Bill and Pam Farrel’s book Men Are Like Waffles,Women Are Like Spaghetti; Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences.
In the Farrel’s words:
Why is communication with the opposite gender so difficult? Because Men are like Waffles, and Women are Like Spaghetti!
Men process life in boxes. If you look down at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. That is typically how a man processes life. Our thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box and so on. The typical man then spends time in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he is at work. When he is in the garage tinkering around, he is in the garage tinkering. When he is watching TV, he is WATCHING TV! Social scientists call this “compartmentalizing”.
In contrast to men’s waffle like approach, women process life more like a plate of spaghetti. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you notice that there are individual noodles that all touch one another. If you attempted to follow one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly. That is how women face life. This is why women are typically better at multi-tasking than men. She can talk on the phone, prepare a meal, make a shopping list, work on the planning for tomorrow’s business meeting, give instructions to her children as they are going out to play and close the door with her foot without skipping a beat!
This is just a sampling of some of the helpful marital info you’ll find in this fabulous book!
To round out this marriage giveaway, here is what else is included:
- For her, some Irresistible Apple Bath and Body Works Lotion. (Eve tempted Adam to evil with an apple. Maybe you can tempt your husband in a good way with this apple lotion. Are you trackin’ with me ladies?)
- For him, some C.O. Bigelow’s Bay Rum After Shave Lotion (Most after shave makes me sneeze. This one makes me want to ask Todd if he’s in the mood for a little “horizontal fellowship”
) - Does he drive you nuts? Enjoy some Hershey’s Dark Chocolate Almonds!
- He thinks you are a complete and total fruit? Feed each other some Dark Chocolate-Covered Pomegranate Pieces! (So much better than grapes!)
- Are the two of you as different as salty, snappy pretzels and smooth, sweet peanut butter? Well, those two tastes, just like you two, blend beautifully in a bag of H.K. Anderson Peanut Butter Filled Nuggets.
Okay, hop on and comment. I want you to tell one aspect of your husband’s personality that you appreciate. One gal who comments will win the couples giveaway centered around the Farrel’s helpful book! I’ll leave this post up through the weekend and the winner will be announced Monday.
I’ll go first.
I adore my husband’s calm, cool, collected, “I refuse to panic” personality.
I can freak out in a split second. He just doesn’t worry, fret or stress. His faith in God is cemented firm. In fact, when Kenz was stranded all alone in a winter storm in NC last Friday (post here), I was busy planning her funeral as I frantically talked out-loud to him, just after we’d crawled in bed after talking to a very distressed Kenz. Within a few minutes of my jaws flappin’, he was soundly snoring in the bed next to me. No joke!!!
Now, what do you appreciate about your husband?
Mismatched Blessings,
330 Responses to Mismatched Candlesticks and a Marriage giveaway
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Great devotional. Yes, my husband & I are very different also. We have been married 35 years. He is a very hard worker, great provider & fixer of any & most things. I freak out and he says its no big deal, I can fix that in 10 minutes. He attempts to tackle any project with a huge amount of patience, diligence & perseverance. I am blessed.
I’ve only been married 8 months, so we’re still learning exactly how different we are, but I love how my husband will go out of his way, take time out of his day, not matter how busy, to go help a friend. People call him because they know (and I know) that they can count on him in any situation.
I greatly appreciate my husband’s relaxed nature. It speaks highly of his reliance upon God’s sovereignty in all circumstances. When we’re packing up to head out on a trip and he goes to get the oil changed in the car and they find something wrong that has to be fixed before we get on the road and this means a 3 hour delay in our leaving — Boy! I can stress! He, on the other hand, knows this is in God’s will and it’s for our good and God’s glory. So we don’t need to stress when our plans fall through. I’m a planner (some times an over-planner) and he teaches me not everything has to be planned, or if you do plan, trust God’s timing instead of our own. I’ve learned much in our first two years of marriage, but I still have much to learn from his character. Lord willing, I’ll learn to not grip so tightly on my schedule, my time, and my ways and I’ll relax as he does to enjoy every moment of life that God gives us.
When we got married everyone thought we were just alike. We’re learning how different we are — how VERY different we are — and learning to appreciate God’s wisdom in bringing us together.
I love(and am amazed) that my husband remembers people, even those he hasn’t seen in a gazillion years!
It is nice to see so many in the same boat! My hubby and I have been married only 2 and 1/2 years so it is encouraging to see others embracing differences with so many more years of experience. My husband is not only personality-wise very different from me, but he is also from a different culture, and it has been amazing to see the world through his eyes. I believe giving me such a new perspective has really forced me to realize the parts of my faith that are cultural and those that are biblical, which in turn has brought me even closer to God- and to Jonathan!
When we first married in our early 30′s, 15 years ago on Feb 18th coming up…I never dreamed of the conflicts that would arise in the years to come. I knew we had our differences, but until you actually live with someone, day in and day out…is it really made apparent. Woah!! I had been a Christian for 15 years and my husband 4 years. I was “so worried” that since I was older in the Lord, that I’d leave my poor husband in the dust. Well, I have eaten humble pie every day since then. I have the most imperfect (aren’t we all??) but God fearing husband a wife could have! I am humbled daily by his committment and love to The Lord, to me and to our 5 children. We live like most real couples…arguing, not getting along at times etc…but even with my physically cosmetic imperfection since birth, being overweight, being moody etc…this man is like a rock! I know he’d put all on the line for the children and I if needed. He works up to 60 hous a week sometimes but is so faithful to lead our family in devotions daily, knowing that if God is not first, our family/home will fall. My heart aches just thinking of him possibly going home to be with the Lord before me. (not that anything is wrong) He is The Love of My Lifetime and I’m crazy about my man!! I’m not 100% certain, but unlike me, I don’t think there has been a day that’s gone by that he has not told me that he loves me.
He doesn’t sweat the big stuff. It never occurred to me to do that until I observed my husband skip freaking out over big things and go straight to the task of dealing with it. Dealing with all that happens in life is easier for us if we let the other take the lead when he/she is better equipped for that type of event … he doesn’t sweat the big stuff so I let him lead when dealing with big stuff and I don’t sweat the small stuff so he lets me lead in dealing with the small stuff. Works well for us.
We are like night and day. As Dave Ramsey would say, “He is the nerd and I am the free spirit.” The one thing I appreciate most is his ability to pull names, dates, facts, and figures from his head from long ago. He remembers all the important dates so much better than I do.
My husband, Julius, and I are definitely different, but the one thing I appreciate about him is the fact that he chooses to be a Christian husband and father. I couldn’t imagine raising a family without having the Word of God as the foundation. I can’t think of any greater attribute than being willing to serve the Most HIGH!
OMG! Your Encouragement for today couldnt have come at a better time! Just this very morning I came to work grunting like a mad woman about how I was married to the biggest neanderthol dork that ever walked. His very breathing was driving me insane. But the most frustrating part was that he wasnt doing any ‘one’ thing (that I could point out to him) wrong. But your message totally made me stop and remember that it is all of his senseless quirky habits that I fell in love with 17 years ago. It is his “stupid” ways that keep my own personal whackadoo ways in check. Oh how quickly we get wrapped up in our ‘own’ flesh. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! –I just sent him a text asking him to forgive me, and no matter how wicked I act, I love him more than anything just the way his is.—-Thanks again for the reminder. Becky
My husband and I have been married for 7-1/2 years and we are soooo different that sometimes I wonder what ever attracted us to each other. But what I love most about my husband is that finishes everything he starts and sometimes things I start. You see I have so many things going at one time that my loving husband will usually jump right in to finish those things that I leave hanging. My husband is focused and I am what you would call a “scatter brain” but he loves me anyway.
Great post! I could have written this one, too – down to the positioning of the toilet paper roll.
My DH is a great worker. He has wonderful people skills and has contacts all over their worldwide company. He is a great father to the kids – he teaches them to have fun and loosen up a little bit. It balances out my intensity. He has a kind heart and always, always wants to help out others. And I love his sense of humor.
When I started out to comment, I did not think I could come up with this many traits that I love about him. Thank you, Karen!
My husband and I have been married for seven months, so we’re still learning a lot about each other and how to “do” married life together. Like you, Karen, we are complete and total opposites in the way we do things.
My husband is a mellow, laid back person who can leave the dishes in the sink for a whole day (or even two!) simply because he’d rather spend time with me, visit our families, etc. I, on the other hand, have control freak tendencies and want everything done RIGHT NOW. His easygoing, “do it later” personality drove me nuts for the first couple months. But now I’m starting to realize that he balances me out better than any other human being could. I’m actually okay with leaving the dishes, laundry, etc for later…at least a little later.
Thanks for sharing, Karen!
This is such a timely devotion for me and I need, as we all do from time to time, to be reminded of the wonderful positive traits my husband has. I love the way he now strives to be a man of integrity, something he has struggled with in the past. As I watch him grow spiritually, I am reassured more and more of his love and commitment to our family. Thanks Karen!
My sweetheart and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary on Valentine’s Day this year, and what a journey of becoming one it has been!!! I am SO blessed by my husband’s passion!! He knows what it means to be “in the game” and wouldn’t be content as a spectator. Early in our marriage this exposure to life brought up every fear in me, however, I eventually learned just what a gift passion can be (and not just for “horizontal fellowship”). I have watched God take an ordinary man and do EXTRAORDINARY things because he was willing to be courageous!! How sweet it is to balance each other by divine appointment!!
My husband and I have been married for 30 years. He is my best friend, my confidant, my companion for life. (Oh yeah, we clash every once in a while especially since we are both headstrong.) I value his committment to the Lord and his servant heart. He is one that practices what he preaches.
No matter how many times I hear it – I still need to be reminded. Men and Women are SO different – but that was God’s plan all along. I appreciate my husband’s ability to not worry about finances. He can always see further down the road and see the big picture.
I love how Justin (my husband) is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in and he is really good at voicing the why behind his belief. He loves Jesus and makes sure we as a family spend time together in the Bible and pray together. He knows he is imperfect and yet trusts God to do His work in his life. He is real.
I think that is more than one…
Thanks for your devo today, very encouraging!
I’m thankful that my husband is constantly vigilant for our family. He’s always aware of what is going on around us…and keeps us safe and secure.
I love my husband’s work ethic mixed it with a lot of his great sense of humor…He works hard but can laugh and enjoy himself the whole time he’s doing it:) I pray that this will be passed on to our children. Thanks for the devotion today…it’s a good reminder for me to cherish the differences that make our marriage interesting!
My husband and I are completely different as well. Our first year of marriage was tough because we were constantly battling and arguing. Over the years though we’ve learned how to accept our differences and complement one another. Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed it.
One aspect of my husband’s personality that I appreciate is his ability to seize the day & enjoy the now. He is spontaneous and really never lets tomorrow interfere with the joy that he can have today. I appreciate that very much about him – he lives out, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matt 6:34
It’s the littlest things that cause me to fall in love over and over again with my husband, one of the most recent was during a snow storm we had.
I absolutely LOVE snow and that night after he came in from taking the dog out, he told me to look out the window into the back yard. When I did, there was this huge heart he made with his bootprints! I grabbed the camera determined to hold on to that precious gift.
The next day it started warming up and he knew I was saddened by the snow melting, but hey, it happens.
Well, I got home from work and started getting dinner ready. When I opened the freezer there was a solid snow heart right in front of me!! I turned around laughing and he said “it’s the snow from the heart I made last night in the yard. Now you can keep it longer.. ”
my heart melted right there.
We’ve been married for 2.5 years and it truly hasn’t been easy… but those little things make it all well worth it.
Wow….this really makes you think. There are just so many traits that I like I was trying to think of one that stood out from the rest.
I am newly wed…well it will be a year Feb 27th. I spent most of my time as a single mother of four children who now are 10,11,16 and 17, and just before I met my husband had resigned myself to the fact that I would be alone forever…and I was ok with this. No one seemd to fit in with my lifestyle. I had made some mistakes in my later teens that left me in the position of single mother which I had been for many many many years now.
It was hard to think of anyone fitting into my life. One that was filled for the last 7 years with working 2 jobs while attending, first college and then University. Each of my kids was involved in at least one extracurricular activity that I found myself driving too and from sometimes to two places in the same hour. I was always willing and available to volunteer to help anyone in need. Who could keep up with all that. Not to mention the fact that at the end of a long day it was nice to curl up and think about nothing…who needed someone interfering with “my time”. So I was content that I could stay single…after all it would be easier without having to add another “puzzle” into the mix.
But I guess God had other plans for me and soon after meeting my husband I knew that was it. From the first time we met we have not been apart for even 24 hours in a row. He fullfils my love language (touch) and I am assuming I fill his (quality time) It is amazing how I never liked anyone doing things for me, or spending a lot of time with me, hated receiving gifts and didn’t like to be praised or touched (hense the reason I thought I would be happy without someone)…but I love it when my husband does all of these things for me. It just took that special someone to get me to open up and let someone in. This is what happens when you put God in charge of your relationships.
Last night we just had a joking comment about how he is the “get to the point” already! and I am the “tell all the details so it makes a great story”. (ok so maybe you put it in better words than I did…but I could relate) It is like that puzzle. two pieces can look so different but they just fit so perfect.
I guess out of all of my husbands amazing qualities I would have to say the one I appreciate the most is his ability to bring me back to earth. My life has always seemed to be spiralling out of control. I am soo guilty of trying to “do it all” that I need someone to “ground me”. Sometimes I take on soo much that my life gets so out of control and my head starts to spin and then it affects every aspect of my life. My husband always knows the right words or the right touch to bring me back to earth and let me know that everything will be ok. (thank goodness one of us has our feet planting firmly on the ground or we’d both be in trouble
)
I thank God every day that he brought him into my life….(even if he drives me nuts at times
)
Thank you, Karen, for making me have to take the time to think about this.
My husband of 26 years sticks “closer than a brother”. He literally loves to be with me and takes up for me. He is forgiving (and I have had much to be forgiven of
We still wonder at how mismatched we are, but God’s grace and love are the glue to stick it out together!
Before I married my husband, my best friends sat me down and encouraged me to look deeper at our relationship. They said we fought all the time and they thought I was making a mistake. We are alot like the waffles and spaghetti you mentioned… That’s what makes us go so well together… Everything relates to everything else in life (in my opinion). And to him, he keeps things very separate. That’s why even after stressful days, he can come home and have a great time with me and our boys – making everyone laugh that comes near him. And that’s one of the big reasons I fell in love with him 20 years ago. It’s not always easy, but we committed to each other to never even mention the word “divorce” in our home in relation to each other. And that commitment has held us together in the rough times, so we could laugh & love together in spite of it all.
I love my husbands little boy side. Most of the time! He loves to have fun while I am the more serious type. Thanks to him I have learned to not take life too seriously all the time and to just loosen up and have fun every now and then.
My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have known each other since we were 12 years old. He is my absolute best friend and I adore him! The one thing that I love about him the most is the fact that no matter how mad or upset I am about any situation he can always make me smile, which makes me more mad!
All he has to say is, “Don’t you dare smile” and I can never not smile! Quite aggrevating when I have a legitimate reason to be mad, but he is so optimistic and it brightens me every day!
It was perfect timing for this devotion. I and my husband are so very different, it can be exasperating. However, I welcome this opportunity to highlight his positives qualities. He is a faithful man of God who is committed to me and our family. He is one of the most honest men I have ever known. I have witnessed so much growth in him through the 18 years of our marriage. Not because of anything I have done but because of what God is doing in him. Although, I’m sure I have been used by God to teach my husband patience. : ) I thank God for his steadfastness. Thanks Karen for this reminder, that God can and does work all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose…even mismatched marriages.
I love the waffles and spaghetti analogy – so true!! I also love the “horizontal fellowship” comment about the after shave – never quite thought about it that way, and I am so “stealing” that line.
My husband is very complimentary. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t comment about some aspect of how I look that day – and most of the time it is in a non-”fellowship” manner!!
I know many women (myself included) need this type of affirmation to feel better about themselves, and this is one area where my husband excels!!
But, boy are we different!! That would take a lot more space to comment about!
Thank you so much for today’s devotional, it was like music to my ears to hear that someone else had a ‘mismatched’ marriage.
My husband and I got married 3 years ago, when I was 18 and he was 22. He is an absolute adrenaline nut, and I am happiest doing craft or reading at home. This has caused us problems and hurt as we decide how to spend our free time – we end up not doing much of anything together as it is so hard to find something we both enjoy doing. It is an issue we are still struggling with but I know we will get there, and it is very encouraging to read that other people have similar problems.
The aspect of my hubby’s personality that I appreciate most is his patience. This is a trait that I certainly do not have, and so I can learn a lot from him:
He is patient when I have total ‘blonde’ moments!
He is patient when I am getting mad at him over silly things like the toilet roll position! (I’m with you Karen – over the TOP or nothing!)
He is patient with our beautiful 19month old daughter when she asks the same thing over and over!
But most importantly, his patience helped save our marriage –
He was patient when I had ante and post natal depression that lasted from when I got pregnant to when our baby was 15months old.
He was patient when complications from the birth meant I couldn’t have “horizontal fellowship” without incredible pain, for 16 months.
He was patient when I wanted to leave and spare him the ‘misery’ of being married to me.
He was patient when I told him I could ‘feel’ no love for him, as the depression masked all feeling.
I am so grateful for my husband who stuck by me through the hardest times we have ever gone through, and I love him so very very much.
I so appreciate my husband’s ability to make me laugh at times when I am so stressed out I want to just scream! We have been married for 25 years with the many ups and downs of life, yet he only has to say some totally off the wall thing and I am still in hysterics. It makes the tough stuff not look so tough to deal with. I loved the mismatched candlestick analogy, we all feel totally mismatched sometimes yet our God manages to bring us together seamlessly when we give ourselves and our marriage over to Him. Blessings to you for your pertinent words today!
I just discovered this a couple nights ago…. my husband was looking at his computer and when I walked in the room, he looked up and said, “What are you fretting about?” That’s 27 years of marriage! Ha! I appreciate him tuning into me and caring enough to ask and of course listen. He is a wonderful husband that God gave to me! Bring on year 28!
This is a great devotional! My husband and I are also like oil and water, but the mix is pretty good, when a dash of God is kept in there.
I admire my husband’s generosity. I have only to tell him of a family who may be struggling and he is making lists of how we could help them. We don’t have alot, but are blessed and he is very free with passing along those blessings. One of my favorite projects is remembering the birthdays of a family with 11 children and sending them thoughtful gifts throughout the year.
Dear Karen, I have often joked about the dating site match ups as well. My husband and I are opposites in many ways. First being height- I’m 5’3″ and he’s 6’7″. Mutt and Jeff.
My husband is a roll with the punches kind of guy. Very little stresses him out (which sometimes I find mind numbing). He is patient, calm and gentle and with that height, he is great for hanging curtains, dusting high shelves, and getting things off the top shelf for me.
But what I love most about him is the fact that through many rocky spots (especially in recent months) he has never given up on US or me. He continues to encourage me and is learning to cope with a wife who suffers from depression and a mood disorder. Let’s just say, some days were like Linda Blair (in the Exorcist) had moved into our house.
I know that he is here for me, and that he turns my needs to Christ as well in prayer even when I’ve been unable to myself.
I hope
My husband and I have been married 30 years. He is calm, easy going and will eat anything I fix except spinach and liver! He is a gentle, caring and godly man. Great husband, dad and grandpa.
My husband and I are nothing alike. Even folks at church joke about it by saying things about opposites atracting. One thing I can say that is positive about my husband is he is always full of joy. He never meets a stranger. He makes others feel comfortable opening up to him. The other stuff I will continue to pray about until God either changes me or him.
*Thank you SO much, Karen!* Oh my goodness! At church a handful of Sundays ago a visiting minister told my husband, “Your wife is in love with you. She is *in love* with you!” And I was thinking, “Why is he telling him this?!? Doesn’t he KNOW it?!?” It spurred me on to do something about it, and I want so desperately to make our marriage work for FOREVER!!! We have been married 13.5 years, and I DO love him. I just struggle with a lot of things, balancing all of life, etc. etc. You asked what I appreciate about my husband: I appreciate the fact that HE IS UTTERLY FAITHFUL to me! I just KNOW it, and I trust him without a doubt. I know he will always, always be there for me — even when I sometimes want to run away! This year is going to be one, for sure, in which I grow in the area of commitment to an everlasting, loving marriage! <3
His ability to take control when control needs to be taken, whether I feel it needs to be taken or not! (lol)
Oh mygosh…….. I never realized how “normal” my husband’s and my marriage is! It is so funny and surprising to me that there are more husbands out there like mine!! We will be married 21 years this year…. on April 1st…. no foolin’. We have known each other since we were 5 years old…. ok I was probably 6……. and grew up next door to each other. Yes, he married the girl next door……. and it is so awesome. There is no one better suited for me. Like most of the ladies have commented here, my hubby is my rock. He keeps me grounded when I want to fly off into space in a panic attack over something that later I realize was a non-issue. He had a terrific sense of humor…. I love that. We can laugh together, at ourselves and each other. We do have our rough spots, but we can work anything out……… he can amazingly ignore my tizzys long enough for me to calm down so we can talk it out. He’s great. Guess I’d better go home tonight and tell him so. Thanks Karen for your post today! ((hugs))
My husband and I clashed from the begining. He is from Ghana and I am from here…that pretty much sums it up!
We for sure have our different opinions. With his upbringing it has taught me many things and I thank God everyday for it. He is a very hard worker and takes care of the family and I work part time and stay home in the afternoons with all of the kids.
We are so different in so many ways but we also get along great! He thinks inside his waffle box and is so to the T about everything and I am the opposite, all over the place always running doing multiple things all at once.
My husband and I are an interesting mismatch to watch in action
But oh how I love him and I always feel secure in his love for me. I never have a doubt or a question of the strength of our committment for each other. One of my favorite tings I see in my hubby is his sensitivity to youth ministry. He always has a new an innovative way to capture the message of the Bible and convey it to the junior high students. I love hearing him speak and using his talents for the Christ.
I have to agree with you actually. I am not married yet, but will be in April. But one thing I absolutely love about my fiance (whom I’ve dated 5 years) is that he is laid back especially during times of problems! He is the water to my fire during these situations! Even when the problems are blown out of proportion by me. ^___^
My husband and I have been married 7 years and together 10..
I never really saw how different we were til after we got married.
When you were describing the differences in your marriage it was like seeing us but in reverse:)
Thanks for reminding me that though we are different we are TRUE soulmates brought together by the ultimate matchmaker!!!
There are many things that I appreciate about my husband.
One thing is how much he loves the Lord and His heart for the things of God. But also how much he is there for me when I really need him to be… I could go on.
Thanks for your devotional and blog. Its great to know that we are not the only different couple that God has brought together!!!!
Chrissy
I’m the crazy, flip my lid and catch a tude in a split second while he is the keep everything cool, everything will be alright one.
For the last couple days, I’ve been having some really severe stomach pains, which I know could be cysts or more scar tissue forming. My husband HATES to see me in pain and would do anything to have me feel better. He calls on his break yesterday morning and asks, “How are you feeling?” “I’m okay.” I answer, getting ready to tell him that I haven’t really gotten up and done anything yet, so that could change, when he totally interrupts me and says, “You’ll be okay. I know you will.” ARRG! I shut down. I admit it. I wanted him to wallow for me. “I’m just speaking life to you like you do to me about my back.” HUMPH! I didn’t even receive that then. But later, I sent him a text messege saying thank you for loving me and thank you for speaking life to me.
It takes a brave person to speak words like that to me when I am in pain and wallowing. But, they were words I wholeheartedly needed to hear. Instead of smacking me upside the head like God could have done, he spoke through my husband to give me encouragement of life.
My husband and I have been married for 36 wonderful years. We have gone through many trials and difficulties during that time but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He is a very out-going people-loving man, which is what drew me to him in the first place. I am a more quiet, laid-back person but through him I have become more out-going as well. The trait I love most of my husband is how he so easily witnesses to people about Jesus. He lives his faith on his sleeve and is not afraid in the retail environment where he works to tell people about Jesus. We have been blessed to go on 2 mission trips to Jamaica and I will treasure remembering how easily he related to the people there.
Great devotional and so true, me and my hubby our total opposites.
I really thank God for my husband. We will be celebrating our 25th Wedding anniversary this March and I am so excited we are thinking of renewing our vows on the beach(just love the beach).
You see we never had a wedding, we actually got married in a hospital just prior to giving birth to our son. My hubby was 16 and I was 17(yes, babies having babies!). But I am just so, so thankful to God for seeing us thru and being so blessed beyond measure.
So many people said we wouldn’t make it but they don’t know that My God is in the business of impossibilities, He has been so faithful to us.
We have been serving in the ministry for years and we started a church in 2004 and this year will be our 6th year of pastoring.
What the enemy wanted to use for bad, God turned it around and made something beautiful!
What I admire about my husband is his caring and loving ways that he shows to anyone who comes his way, no matter what they look like, how they act, and where they come from. He just showers them God’s love and would give them his shirt off his back if they needed it. He has truly been a blessing and example to me our our children!
I love that he stays ultra calm all of the time when I worry about everything. He is my rock and has no problem reassuring me time and again that everything will work out.
We’ve been married thirteen years now, we almost gave up 9 years ago…totally. But God, it was His hand that carried us back together again, and how I’ll forever be glad He did!
My husband’s Type B, I’m Type A.
My husband’s from West Virginia, I’m a crazy Jersey girl.
My husband listens carefully and therefore appears wise, I talk and appear…
It took me about 10 years to truly realize (and more appropriately realize) I married the man of my dreams and prayers!
Thank you for this encouragement!
Wonderful devotional and post! I appreciate my husband’s strong work ethic. He is dedicated, loyal, and hardworking.
Thank you for the giveaway! Sweet Blessings to you!
I’m glad to hear stories of mismatched marriages. My husband and I are seperated and I know that reading your encouragement today and all your ladies comments just make me realize how much I miss and love my husband. I’m asking that all my christian sisters stand in aggreement with me and pray for my marriage that God restore our lives back together. Thank you ladies for sharing your love stories,
Thank you so much for your encouraging post! My husband and I are also different in many ways, but we like to say that when you add up everything about us, we are complete. (Neither of us can even complete a whole crossoword puzzle by ourselves, but when we do it together, we can almost always finish it!)
One of the things I appreciate most about my husband is the way he seems to be in tune with how I’m feeling. He can almost immediately sense what kind of day I’ve had, and even when I’m feeling a little blue or grumpy, he’ll often put his arms around me and say: “I’m feeling like you need to be treated gently right now. What can I do for you?”
It just knocks my socks off!
I’m so thankful for my Andreas.
Thanks for being so generous. Loved the devo.
Love in Christ,
Dana
I like that my husband can speak in front of people. God may call me to that someday, and it frightens me!
What a lovely twist, instead of focusing on the negative! Thanks
Shannon
We, too, are as mismatched as it comes. . . but something I truly appreciate about him is that he can see every aspect of situations and discern what would be an appropriate follow-up action. I usually just react to what I can see, not the other options. It is definately a source of frustration for him, but I sure appreciate it in him!
I appreciate how; no matter what I’ve said or done, he’s so forgiving and how in tune he is to what I’m feeling even before I’m aware of it. After 20 years, he reads me like a book and sometimes I’m too stubborn to even admit it but he still loves me! It could only be God.
Amazingly Faithful Man
Karen, what an awesome post! I love that my husband also is so calm when the storms arrive. It is encouraging to read your God-response to a mismatched marriage instead of viewing it as a negative. I am growing in God’s love and learning that doing His will (in my marriage, in all areas) brings calm, peace, total satisfaction and joy in my life and those around me.
I had to laugh at the idea of waffles and spaghetti. Little could my husband have imagined 20 years ago, when we met at a college party, what our marriage and life would become.
At the time we were young and full of life. Different as night and day. He says his “bag of words” gets empty after having to talk to so many people at work all day. I have been told I could talk the paint off a picket fence! Yet we were drawn to each other. Me, loving his dry sense of humor and good looks, and he being attracted to my fun-loving and spirited personality. Faith was not a part of our past, nor our present.
Fast forward to 2010. My husband is now married to a, still fun-loving, born again Christian,with a spirited personality.We have experienced many trials, not the least of which, are my two-bouts with breast cancer, still on-going. I could not have imagined the level of love and support, as well as fierce loyalty that he has displayed. Not yet a Christian, he supports me in my walk of faith, and prays for my healing constantly. What I lack, he provides, and visa-versa.
Although we did not know God prior to our marriage, I am convinced He knew us, and brought us together to love and support each other, despite his waffles and my spaghetti~
My husband is a dreamer. He is all about visions and what he sees for himself in the future. He is always striving to make things better and to never settle for less than the best. I, on the other hand, am very grounded in reality and have the tendency to accept things they way they are. I am a perfectionist and yet don’t try to change things that I think are hopeless.
Oddly enough, we have switched roles. He left 4 months ago with the full assurance that we could never be happy together and that our marriage was over. He is off to find something new. I, the realist, firmly believe that he is the best God has given me and am doing all I can to hold onto our marriage. We have been together for 13 years, and I am dreaming of a time when our marriage will be more than I could ever have imagined, whereas he has given up all hope. But God is at work, and as long as I have Him there is always hope.
I am so thankful for my husband. we too are much different in many aspects of life. One thing he does that I LOVE is he jumps in and helps with household tasks- everything, from cleaning, folding and putting away laundery, getting groceries, and cooking- all so I can possibly have a few moments to do what I want to do- my own queit time, go for a walk, a long shower….
we’ve been married for 10 years this summer and I couldn’t love him more!
Great devotion today! My husband and I, too, are different in many ways. He is “sensitive guy” to my “tough cookie”.
What I appreciate most about my husband is that when I am being the “I don’t need anyone, I can do this on my own” person that I have always tended to be, he ignores that and gives me the help and support that I need anyway. He sees beyond my tough exterior that I am in the habit of putting up and sees my vulnerability instead and without calling attention to it, makes me feel secure and loved. I have pushed many a person away with my exterior in the past, and am blessed to have found in my husband the person who doesn’t buy into it and sees me for the person in need of help just like any other even though I still try to hide behind a constant mask of “calm call and collected”. God knew exactly what I needed when he brought my husband into my life.
My husband and I are very different. very!! things I appreciate about my husband… he can do anything he sets his mind to, be it house building, motor changing, painting, fix the plumbing etc…
I loved loved the devo. thanks for being so generous and real.
I appreciate how my husband takes the time to do research before making almost any type of purchase. I’m one who will look at something a say it looks good lets get it. He is more of a lets take a few days (sometimes even weeks) to do some research and see if this is the right choice or if there is something better. It is frustrating at times when it is something I really want but in the end his way does pay off.
I love my husband’s compassion for others. He is the first one to raise his hand and volunteer no matter what the chore or dilemma is.
He’s a true servant of Jesus.
I love my husband for his hard work ethic. He works every day so that I can serve in ministry and be at home with our kids and I appreciate that in him so much. Even when things get stressful or tough, he rarely brings that home and tries to be in a good mood when he gets here. Thanks for your post Karen!
I appreciate his quick witty one-liners that make me smile and laugh even on the worst of days.
We too are mismatched and for me it is a constant struggle, but for him it is no big deal, just life. There are days I wonder how we ever got together, and other days how we stay together. Then I realize that it is because we have God in our lives and we Love each other dearly.
Wonderful word Karen! I do enjoy your devotions from P31! This is great word for any relationship. My husband and I are so much alike that it creates trials too. Even so he is a man and at times very much like a waffle! Thanks for sharing your candle sticks!
I love how very task focused my husband is. I, too, am usually all over the map and have multi-tasked myself until I collapse into a heap of tears, but my husband always seems to remain calm, focused and finishes a job without getting his feathers ruffled. He keeps me grounded when I get myself into a mess.
One of the greatest aspects of my husband is his ability to listen and remember everything I say. No, it’s not a joke. I know it’s something that every woman YEARNS for in her husband. However, I will tell you that while most of the time it is wonderful that he listens to what I say and acts accordingly, it is also a constant reminder that I better mean what I say at all times or it might just come back and bite me in the butt!
AS I was saying, our doctor thinks were totally incompatible, and I should rethink our relationship. But we both need the burrs, the tension for us to grow, and soon we’re connected like velcro.
the best thing about my husband–he loves me, always!
I absolutely love the way my husband is so laid back! No matter what is going on(me jumping up and down trying to fix everything) he is the most calm person I have ever met : ) Yes, at times that drives me crazy but it honestly what I love most about him!
I thank God for my husband’s playful personality with the kids. It brings our whole house to a place of joy, music, laughter…and since neither of us grew up in a home like that, it is a true gift from God for all of us!
Living out your wedding vows is a daily choice and I love that my husband continues to make that choice every day no matter what. Life has thrown us seemingly continuous curveballs yet he is steady. I, on the other hand, am spaghetti!
My husband can be so frustrating at times that I want to go into a closet and scream! but…then there are the times that I see him snuggled up on the couch with our little girls watching a video, reading a book or just listening to them talk about their day…it melts my heart! He is such a good daddy and all of our children benefit from his wacky sense of humor. I am such a straight-shooter…rule maker…”fun-sucker” (the kid’s call me)…that it’s nice to see that one of us knows how to enjoy the most important time in our children’s lives. Getting down on their level…he does that great and for that, I admire him! I love you Jay! xoxo
I so appreciate that my husband is growing. He strives to improve himself often and with that he improves our lives as his family.
one thing I love most about my husband is that he has gone through a hard time with his walk with the Lord, and is real. And now seeking God more and what he wants for our lives.
And how he encourages in the Lord. How he knows that sometimes just a little candy bar is what I need. How he just wants me to grow in the Lord. He will pray with me when I hope and desire to go to retreat or conference. And how he loves our children and grandchildren.
My husband is supportive of me. Recently my Aunt found out she is terminally ill and she came home from the hospital and stayed with us. We are empty nesters so we have become set in our ways….if you know what I mean. When my aunt needed to be taken care of…..I called my husband and he said, ” I will support you in whatever decision you make”. This meant alot to me. My aunt is now staying with one of her sisters and I have to go over and help out some and run errands, etc and my husband is still “supporting” me. This “supporting” trait is a blessing from God, and to see it and feel it from my husband makes me love him more and I thank God for the way he has used situations in our life to grow us closer to him and to each other.
I’m so grateful my husband’s first instinct is to find something positive or something that he’s grateful for in this situation. Without sharing specifics to respect confidentiality, that has been incredible for me to see because there have been some tricky situations he has had to respond to in his life. I’m so grateful he looks at our Heavenly Father as the perfect example and Father for us. I love my sometimes “mismatched candlestick” husband!
I am so glad that I finally joined Prov 31 minitries. I love the daily devotionals and I see that I have missed Weight Loss Wednesday
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Thanks so much for reminding us to focus on the differences as a positive thing. I pray we will grow old together, cherishing one another’s differences.
Marcia
This devotion hit right on for me today. I would have sworn I was reading something I wrote. The being matched by dating service really made me laugh as my husband and I have said this several times before. However we are totally perfect for each other. His personality compliments mine in so many ways. I love my husband and appreciate what a patient and loving father and husband he is. I love that there is nothing I can ask of him that he won’t at least consider. Thank you for helping me to remember what an Awesome blessing God gave me when He chose my husband for me.
I love my husband’ creativity, and the little ways he shows me he loves me. One example … I have not pumped my own gas since we discovered I was pregnant with our first child 22 years ago. If he must be out of town for any reason, he will ask another friend to come and pump gas for me if needed.
My husband is selfless in how he takes care of me and our children. I just love him to pieces.
I was just joking with my husband last night that we should go on the show amazing race. His reply was that we couldn’t our marriage just wouldn’t last. My first response was why don’t you love me, am I not a good partner to you? His reply again was no we couldn’t do it. We are to different. I am competitive and you are to nice. There was more to the conversation. But he is right we are way to different and that is what makes our marriage work and it has worked well for 15 years in August. Loved the devotion. Thanks
There are so many things I love & admire about my husband. He is an encourager and uplifter! He is truly my best friend!
i am a worrier. it is a trait that has been handed down to me by my moms side of the family. my husband is exactly opposite of me. he tells me that i dont need to worry because God is in control of everything. i know this but i still worry. i admire the fact that he can so easily give things over to the Lord and LET IT GO. i dont do this quite as easily.
my husband and I will celebrate our 1 year anniversary this Valentines Day! In this short year of marriage I have been surprised by the areas where we are dissimilar (because we do have so much in common). One of the things that I love about my husband’s personality is his encouraging spirit, especially when I am stressed out and frustrated. He reminds me focus on my strengths not my weaknesses. And, like other ladies have noted, I love how our weaknesses and strengths compliment each other. I have a lot to learn from how laid back he can be. I also appreciate his passion for things that he believes strongly in, even if such things are unpopular!
Ahhhhhhhh. Do I EVER understand – and embody!!! – this one. Right now, it’s causing more problems than I like – and you’re right. I’m on my knees every day!
The one thing I’ve ALWAYS admired about my husband is that he is a TRUE seeker of the Truth. He’s not afraid to take apart his faith and examine each piece to see if it’s correct in the light of the Word. It’s truly amazing.
Thank you for the chance to win, Karen!
BE BLESSED!
I LOVE how my husband focuses on one activity at a time for a period of time and becomes an expert and enriches his expertise in that activity, like mountain biking, sport bike track riding, competition shooting, martial arts. I want to try SO MANY things that I usually start and never finish or become am expert because I want to move on to the next thing.
I appreciate my husbands way of looking at the details of everything and taking his time to smell the roses. I am the opposite of him in that way. I have a faster pace, a hurry up attitude and he has taught me the importance of slowing down, counting your blessings and I have made that a prayer of mine for 2010, to slow down, be a better listener and to count my blessings. Thank you for your candle stick story!
I love that my husband is a hard worker and a great listener! His job is stressful but he goes everyday so that I can stay home with the kids!! Thanks for today’s devotion!
I love how when I’m only thinking with my heart, my husband is thinking with his head and together we are a match made in heaven!
My husband is much like you said yours is by not panicking in emergencies. He was in the Navy and was on a nuclear submarine. He was a Chief Petty Officer. In times of an emergency on a sub, you cannot panic. You have to remain calm and be able to think clearly and know what to do. Well, he remains that way and he is so patient with me too. I suffer from migraine headaches and am not always a nice person when in pain but he is sweet, kind and loving to me and takes care of me when I am in bed sick. He is the epitome of a servant and I love him dearly. His Christlike qualities are more than I deserve in a mate. He loves the kids like that too. I am truly blessed.
I appreciate my husband for being almost the exact opposite than me in every way. God made us different in order to compliment each other, and I love that.
We have two beautiful daughters and love how we work together as a team in raising them. My husband knows what the teenage boys are thinking, I know what it is like to be a teenage girl. Together we are helping our girls navigate those wonderful teen years.
We are currently going through tough financial times but we stick together. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses after 14 years of marriage and are able to discuss how to figure out where God is trying to lead us through this desert. I don’t know where I would be without him.
What a wonderful message! Like so many, I feel like my husband and I have very little in common. One of the things I really love and appreciate about him is his strong work ethic. While he loves to goof off as much as the next person, he doesn’t hesitate to put in long hours and get his hands dirty when it’s called for.
My husband is the steadiest person I know. He keeps his eye firmly on the goal and doesn’t get side-tracked with non-issues. We’ve been married 28 years and I love him more every day.
I appreciate that my husband makes time for me, even when he is super busy. When he leaves in the morning, he will tell me if there are any times during the day when he should not be interrupted (like scheduled meetings) but always adds that I can call anytime if I need to. When I do call him during the work day (generally, well nearly always) because of a problem on my end, he knows it’s me thanks to caller ID. But he always answers so calm and loving – even though he has to know after 13 years that my call means “HELP!” I have to admit that when I’m at work and someone calls me – I only feel interrupted and irritable!
This devotional reminded me of the movie Fireproof with the salt and pepper shaker. Each one completely different, yet both are needed to complete a dish. A perfect pair. One makes up for what the other lacks. My husband and I are that salt and pepper. He is the quiet one. I am the loud one. He is the patient one. I am the impulsive one. I am the one who dances, sings, and cries at church. He looks on and pats my shoulder (no longer embarrassed).
What I appreciate most about my husband of almost 9 months is that he makes me feel beautiful. Not that beauty is that important. But for someone who went from a size 7 to a size 22 in 2 months because I had to go on steroids for an autoimmune disease, my self-esteem was shot. I thought nobody would want me. But he did. We had just started dating when I went on the meds. He supported me the whole time and even though I am still overweight, every day he tells me I am the most beautiful woman in the world.
My husband is self-employed, he’s always running around with his head cut off. I’m the centered one, he knows when I start acting like him there’s something big happening. It seems like he takes me for granted sometimes, but when I really need him, his right there holding me up. My strength is his weakness, his strength is mine. Opposite all the way. Together a perfect match, just like GOD intended.
Well, I’m not married quite yet, but I do have a wonderful fiance. We are also vastly different, in about a zillion ways. But I really do love him! I think what I appreciate most about my fiance is his love of others. He’s always donating his time and energy at church–whether it be for youth group or the women’s ministry. This giving quality of his is one of the things that drew me to him. He’s thinking of doing youth ministry as a side-career after we get married, and I can’t wait to come along for the adventure!
I greatly appreciate my husband’s patience and longsuffering with me. If I were not married to a Christian man, I’m sure I would be divorced. I come with a lot of quarks which would drive most men insane but Scott stands by my side and tries to help me through my trials. I love him and I know that God brought us together.