Yesterday, we talked about letting life get too loud for quiet time due to underestimating the time a responsibility will take.

Today, lets look at two more reasons we crowd our calendars and have trouble getting everything accomplished; why we are resentful at the tasks we are doing (when….ahem….it seems others aren’t carrying their weight in the “doing” department).

I see two.

The first, (touched on by some of you in your comments yesterday) People pleasing.

We let the word “yes” roll off of our tongues without missing a beat; we sign up to help or volunteer to cook or make room for another outside commitment all because we are addicted to the approval of others.

Can I get an “Amen”?

Some of us will readily admit it. I am one such person. Yep, it is true. I want to be known as helpful, willing and capable.

It has caused me great heartache. Not only because I say “yes” too much and kick into overload but because when I do listen to God telling me to say “no” and do so, I disappoint people; make them mad. Then, well they go on and find another person who will say “yes” and I get left in the dust.

However, if someone just wants me as a friend so I will “do” and cares not for us just “being”, well then, do I really want them as a friend in the first place?

People-pleasing is a snare. It causes stress and tempts us to put our family behind others. You know, sign up to take a five course meal to another family who just had a baby or illness or death and then that night feed our own family leftovers or lunch meat sandwiches on stale bread.

Ouch! (Been there. Fed that.)

We have GOT to get to the place where we care more about obeying God than pleasing people. So, if through your walk with Him, He has clearly shown you that you are overcommitted and have no wiggle room available to take on one more thing, then politely decline and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! (talkin’ to myself on that one!)

The Bible says in Proverbs 29:25 that, “The fear of man is a snare, but the one who trusts in the LORD is protected.” (HCSB)

What a word picture! Ever been tripped up in life, caught in a snare, all because you feared what someone would think of you if you said “no”?

We need to focus on the second half of that verse. If we trust in God, we will be protected. Our time will be protected. Our hearts and emotions will be protected.

Fear God, not man. (Or, in most cases, woman!)

Another reason we get overloaded?

Passivity.

My husband is pretty intentional not to get over-loaded with commitments. Sometimes, I wish I were more like him.

He is a low-to-medium capacity person who operates best with lots of down time. He is energized by being alone.

I am a high-capacity person who works best when I have at least some tasks in my day. (If faced with a day with no appointments, I can procrastinate and waste time rather than use the free-time wisely) I am energized by being with people.

Todd, when listening to me lament over the years at the times I was stretched too thin, says a very wise thing, “Karen, if you aren’t intentional to fill your time, there are dozens of people out there waiting to fill it for you!”

How true! When we are passive we are easily talked into filling our time with someone else’s agenda for us, not God’s plans for us. We need to stop.

Instead, we must get our marching orders from God and then follow them without apologizing or over-explaining ourselves. (my big flaw!)

As I said last night on Twitter, “You don’t need that person’s permission to do God’s will. Now, stop worrying what their response will be an go obey Him!!!”

Okay– your turn. Do you see these two reasons—-people-pleasing and passivity—-come into play when a gal is overcommitted? How so?

REMINDER: Don’t forget the free conference call next Monday night, April 30th, at 8 pm EST. I’m offering it as a wrap up discussion on our online hospitality series. It will include me yakking some and then Q & A and idea sharing. Can’t wait! Details for the call will be posted next Monday. Mark your calendar now

Ever lay in bed and think about the week to come with dread, not delight?

Oh, not because of a tragedy or sadness, but just because of all you have on your plate. When you think of your tasks and responsibilities and then do a quick mental check of the time you have in which to do them, well, the ole’ freak-o-meter goes haywire.

I was there last night, sisters.

Although I am super intentional to try not to take on more than I should, I over-estimate how much my plate can handle at times. Or, I take on good things for bad reasons.

Then, the good crowds out the best—time alone with God each day.

My life gets so loud that I can no longer find the quiet.

Let’s talk about this a bit this week & see if you can relate. For a few days, we’ll look at reasons. Then, we’ll look at solutions.

Why do we let life get too crowded?

Reason # 1:

We under-estimate the time needed to do a task.

Sounds simple when the committee chair says, “Can you make 2 dozen cookies for the church/school/campaign events?” But we might not realize that they day they are needed, we’ll find ourselves pulled in 14 different directions and then, instead of joyfully whipping up a batch with a smile on our face, we swing by the store and begrudgingly purchase some fancy, looks-like-they-were-homemade cookies and curse the day we ever answered the stinkin’ phone when the committee chair called!

When asked to be in charge of a small project, we might guess it will take us an hour or two. Sometimes it takes us an hour a two a day for a week instead!

Or, we don’t take into account the schedules of our hubby or kids when we say “Yes” to the task or “Sure” to the responsibility. Then, when we are fulfilling the duty for which we signed up, we are neglecting our family in order to do it!

We women have what I call the curse of capability. We are so capable at multi-tasking that, when asked to take on another responsibility, we don’t actually remove anything from our over-crowded plate. We are just so sure we are such whizzes at multi-tasking, that if we just rearrange everything, somehow we can make it all fit.

Okay- that is reason number one.

Tomorrow, number two.

In the mean time, what about you? Do you take on too much due to a wrong estimation of the time it will take to follow through?

Today I am being featured over at two friends’ sites so I am closing my comments and sending you their way.

Glynnis Whitwer is doing a series on spring cleaning and I am there talking about something that will revolutionize your weekly chores: Speed Cleaning. To see the post and be entered in the giveaway of my organizing book and a Walmart card, click here.

Also, over at Women Living Well, Courtney Joseph is talking time management this week as part of her 5 week challenge. And she has a giveaway too! She also is hosting her regular Wednesday link-up party that will take you to some other great sites and posts. Click here to pop over.

Finally, don’t forget to check out my college friend Kelly’s way cool, simple and heartfelt gift idea below. It will touch someone’s life!

Ever have a gift touch your heart and take your breath away?

I recently did.

My best friend from college, Kelly (who was also my co-author on my first two books) is the most creative and clever gift-giver.

Over the years she has stitched, sewed, woven and spun me many homemade treasures. But this year for my recent birthday, she out-did herself. And I just HAVE to share the idea with you because…..well it is easy enough that even I, Miss Craft-Challenged, could do it.

She gave me the gift of God’s word.

It came in a simple, brown paper, twine-wrapped gift. with a homemade tag and a hand-written note.

When I opened the package, out fell wonderful pieces of God’s heart written on cream-colored file folder scraps, framed in scrapbooking paper pieces and dangling from simple cotton strings.

She had spent HOURS choosing just the right verses for me and then copying them down in her very best handwriting on the hand-crafted tags.

I keep these gems in a jar by my kitchen sink. Each week I randomly choose a new verse to hang on my window over my sink to ponder as I wash yet another glass or scrub a pan or pot.

If you have someone you want to encourage, try this simple idea. It really has been a lasting gift as I think of her each Monday when I pull out yet another whisper from God.

(NOTE: If you want help on how to make these, I can ask Kelly to hop on and comment. I am clueless. However, if you need help searching for just the right verses for a friend, use biblegateway.com. It makes it a snap to search for verses by putting in key words.)

I still remember when my mom got a Crock Pot. Such a clever 1970′s invention.

For our 1986 wedding, Todd & I got one too from the owners of the flower shop where I worked in college. Later, we “bumped up” to one that had a new-fangled twist——removable stoneware.

After 25 years of marriage, I’ve burned through a lot of Crock Pots. We currently own two, both about 10 years old.

They’ve been transported to graduation open houses, sick church members and family get-togethers; they’ve been there to celebrate at wedding showers and silently serve at funeral dinners. They return often with food crusted on the outside or nicks in the stoneware.

Loving others means sometimes your stuff gets bumped.

Last month, we attended the regional wrestling match for our 8th graders team. Man, did these wrestling moms have it going on in the Crock Pot arena!

There were ones that switched automatically to “Keep Warm’ when the dish was done.

There were ones that were huge—-7 quart models.

One was camouflage—-my hunters would love that!

One even had little pre-made, removable metal tags that told what was in the Crock Pot—–meatballs, mac & cheese, etc…

I was having me a severe case of “Crock Pot Envy”

So, I had to snap myself back to reality and embrace my beat-up beauties.

Though not state-of-the-art, they still function.

Though they’ve been bumped and bruised, they’ve spread a lot of love.

I will embrace my chipped, dented slow cookers and continue to let them serve.

Here are two favorite crock pot meals.  One is a little involved; one easy.

Will you share yours?

Mexican Chicken

5 boneless chicken breasts, cubed
1 can black beans
1 can corn, drained

Mix the above and place in a slow cooker. Then, over the top pour:

1 (15 ounce) jar chunky salsa ( I use Ortega medium)

Sprinkle with:
one small lime–zested & juiced and 1 tsp. minced garlic

Cover and cook on high for four hours. Then add:

1 (8 block) package cream cheese, cubed

Lightly stir and re-cover. Cook for 30 minutes more.

Serve over brown rice and top with crushed tortilla chips.

Pulled Pork

Place one or two boneless pork loins in a crock pot. Cover and cook 8-10 hours on low.

Drain off juices. Shred meat. Pour Sweet Baby Rays barbeque sauce over. Stir and serve on soft kaiser rolls with some crunchy cole slaw.

Any other good crock pot dishes out there?

The winner of the giveaway from my Proverbs 31 devotion post on Tuesday is Faith Moore. Please send your home address to my assistant at kim@proverbs31.org. Congrats!

Hey gang–

Today I am posting over at Roomag.com, Candace Cameron Bure’s online magazine.

We’re talking about an effective way to make a “to do” list and tackle your busy day in the most efficient way.

Click here to see the post and join us.

Have a productive Thursday!

 

Hey gang–

Closing my comments today and letting you know about my friend Courtney’s new challenge over at Women Living Well.

5 weeks

5 Disciplines

5 Challenges

Check it out by clicking here.

And, if you didn’t read yesterday’s Proverbs 31 devotion and enter the giveaway, scroll down to the post below. There is still time.

Winner announced tomorrow.

Happy Wednesday!

Note: Would you consider signing up to receive my posts via your email inbox? Simply click on the envelope icon in the top of the sidebar or enter your address in the box just below it. You’ll automatically receive any new blog posts I write.

Have you joined us after reading my Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today devotion?  Or perhaps you’ve found me guest posting over at Nicole O’Dell’s Choose Now?

Welcome! If you haven’t read the devotion, click here to do so and get caught up with the rest of us.

But sure to come back for today’s topic and a giveaway We’ll wait right here.

Back?

As promised, here are five snap-proofing scriptures to memorize to help you die to self BEFORE you interact with, or react to, others in your life. All are from the ESV version of the Bible:

~ A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

~ Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

~ Whoever restrains his words has knowledge and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27

~ He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend. Proverbs 22:11

~ She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Memorizing scripture can help us to die to ourselves; to pause before we pounce. (My favorite verse is the first one above. I can often be found wandering my home, mumbling to myself…“A soft answer….a soft answer….” before I respond to one of my kids. Ok…..92% of the time!)

Here is a giveaway that will help one of you to tuck God’s word in your heart and steal it away in your soul:

 It includes:

~ A journal to record thoughts, prayers, etc…

~ A Bible highlighter

~ A nifty index card folder with 100 cards for writing out verses to memorize

~ A pack of large sticky notes to write out longer sections and stick them on your car dashboard or at your kitchen sink or bathroom mirror

~ A Dayspring mug and some blueberry herbal tea bags

~ The Passion of Jesus Christ by John Piper

~ Some P.S. I Love You lotion from Bath & Body Works (God’s feelings about YOU!)

~ Some dark chocolate covered pomegranate bits. Hey—come one—–pomegranates are in the Bible, right?

Ok– to be entered to win, leave a comment telling us either what the first verse you ever memorized was or what topic you’d like to focus on when memorizing scripture?

Winner announced Thursday.

Remember….pause before you pounce. Just tell yourself….“Hang on a second. I gotta die!”

WOW!!!

That took nearly  two hours!

Picking the over two-dozen random winners of the great giveaways from our hospitality study.

Didn’t you just LOVE all of the fantabulous guests!!!

I am standing on my chair clap-clap-clapping for them. I learned so very much and am honored they took time to join us.

PLEASE stop by their sites to thank them too!

Now, before I tell you who the winners are, I don’t want to leave the rest of you empty handed.

First, let me say I was SO UPSET that many of you did not get your books in time. I did all I could (gave the publisher a heads up and was assured there were plenty of copies available to handle the expected volume).

Well, the book had to go into another rush printing. And I know some of you STILL are waiting for yours to arrive.

Big bummer.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I will give you another three weeks to get your book and read.

Then, on MONDAY NIGHT, April 30th at 8:30 pm EST, I am offering a free one hour conference call.

That evening, you can dial in and I’ll have a little devotional/teaching on the topic of hospitality.

Then, we’ll open it up for Q & A, discussion, idea sharing, your thoughts on what the study  or book meant to you, etc…

It will be like a huge girlfriends’ coffee date, only we’ll all be in our own homes with our own homemade coffee

Sound good?

Mark your calendar now & I will post the call-in info on that day. (If you want to make sure you don’t miss it, sign up to get my posts via email by clicking on the little envelope in the sidebar or entering your address just below it)

Now….for the winners.

PLEASE NOTE:

YOU WILL BE CONTACTED BY MY ASSISTANT KIM IF YOU WON. You had to leave an email address when you commented and she will use it to notify you.

I say this because there may be numerous gals with the same name, especially if they just left a first name. So, if it says “Amy” won. Please do not get all giddy and email us to say, “My name is Amy. I think I won! Did I? Did I?”

If you won, YOU WILL GET AN EMAIL FROM KIM.

If you email us, alas, we will not be able to respond. Do not be upset. Do not be offended, We just can’t respond to the MANY emails we get from random sweet sisters asking if they won. (Some, ahem…..who never even commented on the post where the prize was offered yet still think they won somehow! LOL!)

OKAY…..drum roll…..the winners are:

From Facebook: 

Funniest hospitality disaster story:  ($10 Bath & Body Works Card) Dana Merchant

Fear of hosp. comment:  ($15 Panera card) Gail Douglas

Daily winners from the guest posts on the blog:

Amy Baylis’ prize:  (Louisiana Coffee or Tea basket) Chris

Sheila Gregoire’s prize: (Signed copy of her book) Judy Splint

(Signed copy of my book) Debra Pettigrew

Cindy Dagnan’s prize (her book) Liane

Courtney Joseph’s (beautiful hands prize) Shelly in IL

Jessica Zigenus’ prize: (kitchen items) Su at The Intentional Home

Janelle Nehrenz’s prize (Target card & assorted items) Karen

LaToya Edwards’ prize: (Micca Cambell’s book) Robin Schick

Glynnis Whitwer’s prize: (her book) Kayla Joy

Angela Perritt’s prize: ($15 Target card) Cammi H

Rachel Wojnarowski’s prize: (t-shirt) Pam Sanford

Trish Smith’s prize (Blessings mug) Mitzi

Joy Forney’s prize: ($25 Target card) Jennife Rae

Mandy Ballard’s prize: ($15 Bath & Body Works card) Roz

Ruth Schwenk’s prize: (tea set) Amy

Renee Swope’s prize: (three winners of her book) Staci, Amanda E, Marie

Gina Smith’s prize: ($15 Target card & my organizing book) RuffaloSusan

LeAnn Rice’s prize: (3 Starbucks card to give away) Amber R.

Crystal Paine’s prize: (Cleaning products basket) Mandie Kellerman

Darlene Schacht’s prize: (Bed & Breakfast stay) Heather (the Heather who put 3 smiley faces after her name)

Clare Smith’s prize: ($15 Target card) Silvia arvelo

Congrats to the winners!

We’ll see the rest of you back here tomorrow when I have a Proverbs 31 devotion running and a guest post over at Choose Now.

It is our last day for guests here on our hospitality online study. But we aren’t done yet!

Be sure to tune in Monday when all the winners from the past three weeks’ posts will be announced and I’ll also have one other fun announcement that involves you! (Especially those of you still waiting for your books )

Today, meet my friend Clare Smith. I LOVE how she took an interest of hers and turned it into a way to reach out to others and host a party with a purpose. I hope her post inspires you to do the same!

Clare and her husband and 2 children live in Northeast Ohio. She has her bachelor’s degree in business management and left a promising career to be a stay-at-home mom to her children. She is a certified fitness instructor and teaches pilates and group fitness classes at her church and local university.

Clare’s passion (outside of raising and nurturing her children and home) is motivating women of all ages and stages of life to live well physically, emotionally and spiritually. Visit her at Peak313 and on Facebook!

From Clare’s heart:

I have to be honest with you. “Hospitality” isn’t one of my greatest strengths.

I get caught up in a lot of things that prevent me from doing it: the size of our house, the need for lots of food and the way that my house is (or isn’t) decorated.

However God has given me a way to exercise hospitality that makes me not think twice about any of those roadblocks via one of my passions—Pilates!

I am a group exercise instructor and one of the classes I teach is pilates at a local university. I’ve been doing it for almost 5 years and I never expected it to provide me an opportunity to minister to others in my home!

College students are usually in need of 2 things: a change of scenery and good food! (You remember that well, right?) So I take advantage of that and have them over once or twice a year and give them snacks here and there!

I’ve been able to use this time to encourage these college students by laughing with them, answering their questions or just listening to everything they have on their heart. It’s good for me to get out of my life and into someone else’s and I really enjoy talking with them.

I usually try and make them something around exam time and snack mixes have been a real hit! Here are 2 I’ve done before.

“Healthy Snack Mix”

And around Christmas time,

“Santa’s Snack Mix”

I also enjoy having them in the house for a small meal and break from their studies. Here we are last year!

Unfortunately they have to graduate, which makes me very sad, but thanks to modern technology, I keep in contact with many of them!
I’ve attended their graduations and even a wedding! It brings me such joy to be a part of their lives and I’m thankful that God has used something I love to be the vehicle in which to do that!

So today I ask you, is there someone that God has put in your path to encourage?
Maybe it’s through a very unique situation, or maybe the person themselves, is very “unique”.
Ask Him who you could reach out, put your arms around and invite into your home. You might be surprised at the answer you get!

Thanks Clare!

Ok girls–leave a comment telling us a group of people (or even a single person) that  you could either reach out to with a small gesture (like Clare’s snack mixes) or invite to your home for a get-together. With whom does your path naturally cross?

One of you will be chosen at random to win a $15 Target card to purchase some items to do just that!

Have a blessed Easter & we’ll see you Monday for the announcements!