I just had a meltdown.
I knew it was coming and tried to ward it off, but this morning I broke.
It started with watching a tear-jerker movie that Kenz had on while I attempted to get caught up on my nomadic pile of paperwork (no office set up yet for Todd and me). The movie got me crying, then I let my mind wander and ponder all of the things I must have done before school starts.
Kenzie, 17, is a senior, but done with her high school credits (one good aspect of homeschooling—there are bad aspects too, but this one we made work to our advantage) so she is enrolled for her second semester at the local community college. Her books need to be ordered. Spencer, 10, will do three classes at home with me and three at Teenworks, a homeschool academy, on Thursdays. He needs books ordered and his uniform purchased. Mitchell, 13. takes reading from a dyslexic therapist and everything else from me, but we considered enrolling him for two classes at a local Christian school that will take homeschoolers on a one or two class basis. We still haven’t decided for sure what we will do. Couple that with living out of laundry baskets and boxes and the basement STILL not being finished (the latest was that carpet, the final step, could come a week from Monday. Now it may be delayed another week or so) and…..well…… I lost it! Got into the ‘poor me’ mindset and let my circumstances overwhelm me.
Cried for 45 minutes STRAIGHT!!!
Now, I have replaced the screaming of the circumstances with the still, small voice of God. He told me to calm down. To take a deep breath. To grab my kids and…… head to the beach!!!
You heard me. The beach.
My sweet friend Marybeth (friends for nearly ten years. Been together 5 times total) has invited the kids and I to spend next week with her and her kids on the ocean in North Carolina. Of course everything in my control-freak-mama-ducks-in-a-row-how-will-the-basement-ever-get-done- without-me-around personality says it is NOT a good idea for me to vacate the premises in the middle of all of this. But God, Todd and my accountability partner Mary all tell me different.
So to the beach it is. 15 hours away. With my three kids and I in the car—not a van—a car. I can feel the stress starting again!!!!!
Seriously, Kenz drives and the boys are old enough to ride semi-happily. So……..we are outta here come Monday, just before the break of day!!!
Until then, we will enjoy our Chinese dinner today to celebrate the opening of the Olympics, watch Kenzie and her band (as in Christian not the tuba-toting kind) sing at the St. Johns Mint Festival on Sunday. Then we’ll tie up loose ends here, throw our suits and sunscreen in a suitcase and HIT THE ROAD!!!
Internet access may be spotty. I’ll try to get on and post. And I have a few giveaways up my sleeve and our downsizing story to tell. I’ll do my best!!!
Sweet Sun-soaking Blessings,
i read your comments about prayer.i struggle with what i should say.i pray but i cant find the right words to say. and
i freeze up. but i can talk to him like i talk to a person. but
im working on it, my friend say to pray for ten min.s a day.
and go from there. im going on a retreat with my church,
and am going to dedicate this time to improve this area of my life. i thank you for the reminder. your words gave me somthing to think on.
So I’m reading your blog, I was right there with you – understanding the stress of getting ready for another homeschooling year – the piles of things to do around the house – and even the pity party. Then you said you were taking a break to go to the beach. I thought, ‘okay, take a break and get away’ – this is because it takes me a 20 minute drive to get to the beach. Then I read “15 HOURS” Oh my goodness. When you say get away, you mean get away. Thank you for the reminder of not taking things for granted!
What a great big hug from God to get to go to the beach with Marybeth. I hope you girls have a blast! I know you’ll come back home renewed, revigorated and ready to take on the world. You deserve some fun in the sun after the summer you’ve had. Enjoy!
Wow, how wonderful for you and the kids! I’m sure God will bless you with a wonderful bonding time with the kids and also lots of time (and beautiful scenery) to reflect on him. It’s so awesome when God gives us exactly what we need!
Wow, you certainly have a lot going on…..and let me tell you—I KNOW what that’s like! I’ve had those freak out moments. In fact, I had one rather recently and quite frankly, sometimes a person just needs to “release” some of that emotion.
I bet time at the beach will do you and your family wonders!
I’m praying for you and your family. Continue to follow God; He’s got it all under control, even when we don’t feel at all under control.
That peanut butter, vanilla frozen yogurt shake sounds good…..(yes I was the one who wrote in about that) oh yes, I think I forgot to mention you need to add milk as well to get it ceamier….
Enjoy the beach, enjoy the weather and remember that God IS in each situation.
Amy V. (From WI)