Weekend Giveaway :-)

NOTE: Be sure to read to the end. Can you can say “giveaway’? I knew you could!


If you have not been with us this past week, we’ve been looking at circles and plates and and juggling relationships & responsibilities.

In a word?


Everywhere I meander, I encounter worn out women.

We just don’t seem to have enough day left at the end of our activities and responsibilities; we voice our priorities one way, then turn around and live our lives as if they were actually in reverse order sometimes.

I suggested doing the little “circle” activity to give yourself a picture of who and what is getting the biggest chunks of your precious time. I know my finished product made me stressed just looking at it!!

And I know better!!! I have entire talks and chapters devoted to avoiding over-committment. So what is the dealio?

Why do I (and many of you) over-commit and spin too many plates or run in too many circles?

I can think of  5 reasons: (I know there are more!)

~ We women have what I call “the curse of capability”.

We are capable. We are resourceful. We are able to multi-task. We are creative. We can trouble shoot. So, when asked to take on another outside responsibility, we think, “Why I’m capable of that!”

Then, we say yes. Pretty soon, our piles of “yeses” threaten to bury us down deeper than the Chilean miners.

~Next, we don’t want to say no out of fear.

Fear of not being liked. Fear of hurting someone’s feelings. Fear of behind-the-back chit chat, “I don’t know why she won’t do this. After all, she has way more time on her hands than me!” Fear of adding stress to the person asking you to do the job, ’cause if you say “no”, they need to find someone else. Fear of rejection.

Fear stinks!

~ Then there is this reason:we under-estimate the time and BRAIN SPACE it will take to do the task!

Tasks like “Be in charge of ABC” or “Organize XYZ” are the ones that get me most! While a task with a specific time frame is measurable (work the concession stand at baseball on Tuesday night from 6:30-8:00) these “be in chrage of” and “organize” ones are not. When we under-estimate the time involved AND the brain space it will take up knowing we now wear another ‘hat’, we take on waaaaaaaay too much!

~We are filling too much of our time with tasks in our “red” or “yellow” light areas.

Twenty-four years ago when Todd & I married and began in ministry (he was a youth pastor then) he took a FABULOUS in-depth assessment test that measured his effectiveness by discovering what were his “green light” areas–those areas you are most effective in due to your personality wiring. It also showed the “yellow” areas. These were tasks you could do, but they weren’t your strongest suit. The “red” areas were those duties that just plumb stressed you out because they were in direct conflict with the way God wired you. They cause you grief and dread because they are , in essence, “just not your thing”!

Guess where MANY of us operate? Yep. We are filling our time with yellow and red light areas. These areas sap us. Green areas energize us! (If you want to know more, I was THRILLED to see that Richard Hagstrom, the man who developed this over 30 years ago is still around. I found him here.)

~ And, the final reason? We speak before we check.

We don’t check our calendars. We don’t check our other commitments scheduled for the same time. We don’t check with our spouses or check with our kids. And, here’s the kicker, we don’t consult our Creator asking Him if we are called to the task. Not CAPABLE of the task, but called!

So, what’s a gal to do? Well, we’ll chat about that next week.

For now, I thought I’d offer a fun little giveaway crafted around some of the topics we’ve been discussing here. So, here is what is included:

~A copy of God’s Purpose for Every Woman. Our compilation book of devotions from Proverbs 31. This will help you in your relationship with God.

~A note pad with the verse “I can do all things through Him” Philippians 4:13 for you to jot your tasks down.

Then, for a little “me” (or as I call it “re”) time:

~Two Land O’ Lakes flavored hot cocoas, one in French Vanilla and one in Tiramasu.

~A large Godiva dark chocolate with orange candy bar.

~A box of Calgon English Garden bubble bath. (Take me away!)

~Finally, for the reality of life, a set of thin cotton dish towels for Thanksgiving embellished with a Cornucopia. You’ll be drying those dishes in style!

Okay—so, to be entered in the drawing for this giveaway, leave a comment on today’s topic. Which of these reasons do you think reflect you? What other reasons are there for letting your plate get too full? Or, if time is tight, just say “I’m in!”

Winner will be announced Monday!



  1. I have the fear of saying no.
    Being a SAHM, people look to you as if you have a lot of time on your hands. at the time you think you can do the task but in the end realize that it doesn’t fit in with your schedule of home-schooling or drop off/pick ups of all your children and their activities.

  2. Count me in. At our church each spring we have a job fair where you can no longer do a job without guilt and try to find one that better fits your shape. I think that really helps in taking on too much at church. The family and children stuff is hard to say…….we try to be supermom and that is always a sure way to fail or be stressed out.

  3. There was a time when I was running around like crazy – sports, homeschooling, church, etc. But, I’m an empty nester now and don’t have the pressures I once had. I enjoy spending time with my adult children and my precious grandbaby. I recognize that God’s favor has rested upon me. Your day is coming…..(I still would love to have all the goodies in the giveaway!)

  4. Yes, yes, and yes! I do all these things! I realize it all boils down to not wanting to let anyone down even though I usually let myself down in the process. Thanks for these posts- it’s opened up a lot of junk in my trunk, so to speak…

  5. I am sure you all have heard the saying, “If you want something done, ask a busy woman to do it” – or something like that anyhow. Every opportunity to serve sounds so good, so rewarding; what if I miss out. Then I find I am drowning in over commitment and I am missing out. Missing out on having relaxing time with my family, missing out on enjoying the activities I choose to do (too many!). I guess the key is learning to discern what are the right choices and also learning to say NO without the guilt….

  6. I would say the first four reasons are my culprits – but only becasue lately I have been consulting the calendar, my family, and God before commiting. I want to go to that website and do the exercise – WHEN I HAVE TIME! LOL I have been sensing that I need to really examine my priorities, my gifts, and where I am energized instead of drained, and focus on those things. Basically, if an opportunity comes up, compare it to my areas, and this should make it easier to decide. Thanks for sharing!

  7. I quit a very well paying job because that was what the Lord prompted me to do…now I call myself a SAHC…stay at home Christian…and if you don’t “work”…you get called on….A LOT….’cause people think you now have nothing to do!!! Thanks for the precious give-a-way!

  8. I don’t have a fear of saying No, and do so plenty of times. However, there are SO MANY good things out there to do … and I’m capable … and I like doing a variety of volunteer activities … so I say Yes. And then, a few weeks later my plate is too full, I’m a bit (or a lot) crabby, and the laundry is piling up again. So I try to discern where God is calling me to serve / to say yes. And sometimes I hear Him clearly … and other times I just say Yes!

  9. I am big on underestimating time in many of my endeavors. If we are getting ready to leave the house as a family, I try to fit in one more chore or part of chore (less to do when I get home). I am not always the last one out the door, but sometimes I am because of the reason above and I am trying not to waste time. The assessment will be good to investigate and receive feedback.

  10. I’m absolutely in the “curse of capability” category (but I have a little of the others, as well). I often things that if I can, then I should. Or that I “have to.” That “have to” can sometimes take out the “cheerful” part of giving.

    Great posts this week. Thank you for discussing this topic.

  11. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I would say all of these are a factor for me, but the biggest is fear and not checking.

  12. I agree with Jennifer Renee – I like to be helpful, and if I can do it, then I agree – and later realize what I’ve gotten myself in to!

  13. I am guilty of all of these, but especially I commit out of guilt, since I want to be liked, and I know the stress of trying to find helpers! Plus, as a stay at home mom, I feel like I should have the time to help more, but with 4 kiddos and a husband with a crazy schedule, it is difficult.

  14. For me, I am sad to say that I often volunteer for things that I may not have time for because I want to be important. When I am at an event and everyone has to ask me how, where, why, what, and when, I feel important and valuable.

    Being shy, this used to help me to meet people and be involved but it has warped into this twisted thing of self importance. Yikes!!

  15. I can definitely relate to #1. I sense I’m capable, and just enjoy doing so many things…I easily say yes. The Lord has really been growing me in this area, I gently removed myself from some school committees, have been saying NO to some good things, and have built more DOWN time into my week. It’s a journey…but I am growing (Praise the Lord)!!
    Thanks for your awesome post!!
    Blessings to you~
    Cindy :)

  16. I often want to say yes because I am flattered someone thought enough of me to ask. They thought I could handle it and handle it well or they wouldn’t have asked, right? Guess I need to get over that:)

  17. For me it’s guilt. I feel bad saying no because the person usually asking gets stuck with the task then.

    Can’t Wait for the discussions next week!

  18. I know for me I just want to help out where ever I can. And I am slowly finding out that I don’t always have to volunteer where there’s a need and I am learning sometimes that is best, especially when it is not somewhere that I would be helpful. Kind of like that cool personality assessment you just mentioned. I really want to take that test!

  19. I agree with the premise that as women, we multi-task to a FAULT!! I have watched all of my friends with kids a little older than ours engage in too many activities, and now I see it happening to me. My husband gets the short end – not enough time together for us! Yet I know the best gift our we can give our kids is a strong marriage. It’s like we know what needs to be done, but we can’t get off the treadmill to make it happen!

    I was encouraged by your words to know it’s not just me that feels this way!!

    Blessings and thanks for your devotions!

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