Getting Kids Talking Giveaway with Mary DeMuth

In my post earlier this week, we chatted a bit about raising kids who are passionate, not perfect.

Another goal I’ve had as a mom is to raise kids who will confide in us. Communication is key to any healthy relationship but sometimes getting kids to open up isn’t the easiest task to accomplish.

Enter my friend Mary DeMuth.

Mary is a writer, speaker, wife, mother, writing mentor and worshipper. A prolific southern fiction writer, she also has two fabulous books for helping parents raise kids who are confident, courageous Christ-followers. I’m including a copy of each in today’s giveaway. It includes:

~ A copy of 150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking

~ A copy of You Can Raise Courageous & Confident Kids; Preparing Your Children for the World They Live In

~ Some Orville Redenbacher’s movie theatre butter popcorn to munch on while you talk with your kids

Hear Mary’s heart on a few elements brought forth in her books:

Mary, what prompted you to write 150 Quick Questions?

I wrote the questions because I grew tired of just doing “What was your high & low point of today?” around the dinner table. I wanted to delve more deeply into my kids’ hearts.

So I wrote up 150 questions, printed them, cut them into strips and put them in a basket in the middle of our kitchen table. The kids took turns taking them out. So we tested all of these before they ever became a book. In fact, it was a few years before Harvest House published them.

 

Why do you feel engaging kids in conversations is more valuable than issuing ultimatums?

Engaging kids in chatter is a great way to our kids’ hearts. They’re more likely to entrust us with their secrets, fears, and wishes if they feel we’re listening. They will naturally confide if they feel safe. It’s always better to go for relationship, because good behavior flows out of good relationship.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever been given?

Best piece of advice: Look into your kids’ eyes. Stop and pay special attention to them when you’re talking to them. Make them feel like they’re the most important person in the room.

Okay friends, if you would like a chance to receive this helpful book bundle, leave us a comment telling us either the best piece of parenting advice you’ve been given or your favorite way to connect with your kids—a game, tradition or simple activity. Winner announced Friday.

Blessings,

126 Comments

  1. I was a nanny for over 6 years before I was a mom. I remember being told once give them your time & attention even if it’s for something silly. That when the realize that what they have to say is important to you they’ll share the “big” stuff too!

  2. We need to pray constantly for our children. We need to remember that they were made by God, and therefore we need to raise them to their potential in there God given talents. We need to remeber they are individuals, and have their own ideas. We need to encourage them, not discourage them.

  3. The Golden Rule…”Treat others the way you want to be treated”. This covers most situations and is simple enough for even a young child to understand.

  4. My favorite time to connect with my kids is at bedtime – it’s one on one time with each kid that gives us time to talk about the day, sometimes pray together, sometimes just lay down and cuddle together, or whatever each child needs that day. These books look great!

  5. The best advice–listen to your kids even when they are young. They have feelings and want to show and say things that are important to them. Always be at their eye level. You get your message across and they listen.

  6. We have been foster parents since 2001 and typically have at least 7 children. The way we find time for each child to feel special is an individual date night with mom (me). I take one out at a time. We do what sounds like fun to them… Dinner and a movie, the park, etc. But, I use it as an opportunity to try to get them talking… To open up, etc. We all really enjoy this! And it’s so helpful with attachment for all of us.
    These books would be amazing to own. Sometimes, the boys don’t act like they “feel” anything… And I’d like to have the tools to tap into them, so we could help them.

  7. My youngest daughter lives about 900 miles away and we can’t visit one another often. We stay connected by phone calls and snail mail letters. The most creative letter for the month is chosen and who ever wins gets to special treat-coffee for me, candy for her. It’s fun and allows us both to sit down, unwind for a few minutes and actually write out thoughts and feelings.

  8. best advice… whenever you think of a reason your child should/should not do something that you feel so strongly about… you should think of three reasons for each side… three reasons they should and three reasons they shouldn’t… like “my kid should cut his hair” three reasons why and why not… and most of the time it makes you think that they really shouldn’t do what you want them to do… and it helps you understand why they don’t do what you want them to do…

  9. When my children were growing up–we really tried to have dinner all together. We would go around the table and each person –parents included would tell everyone about one thing that had happened that day!!!

  10. I like the time in the car driving to and from activities. Most of the time, my kids will start talking and sharing their lives in the car!

  11. Due to a variety of reasons and dynamics (all good and of our own choice) dinners as a family only happen for us when we go out to eat. A more consistent time of connecting is at bedtime. We have a really nice routine, and this is the time that I get to hear everything from the most mundane to the most heart-warming parts of my daughter’s day. But the I think my favorite times to connect are the random ones; the ones that just sort of pop up out of the clear blue. I think that this is because I’m caught off guard, and my mind stops to focus instead of being partially distracted by what I’m going to do next.

  12. I love that our family has dinner together around the dinner table almost 100% of the time, and even my 6 yr old son said earlier this week at dinner, “so how has everyone’s day been so far?” I also make tuck-in time at night a special time where we can talk, because sometimes they’ll open up in the dark better than in the daylight, or it’s when they voice their concerns before going to sleep.

    I would so love to win this giveaway – what great resources for all parents :)

  13. I have found that if I spend a little extra time at bedtime with my boys that they seem to open up. Sometimes, I just lay down beside them on the bed and lay with them until the go to sleep, othertimes when the lights are out is when my oldest is most willing to talk about things that are bothering him.

    Please count me in on the give away

  14. Best advice – Always let you children know they can come to you and talk about anything that is going on in their lives. I want our children to feel that even if they have done something terribly wrong that they can come to us and we can talk about it and work through it together. I love the idea of the questions at dinner time. I want to try that.

  15. I take a walk w/my kids every morning before we eat breakfast and start homeschool. It gives me an opportunity to get fresh air, but primarily to chat w/ whichever one of my 3 who chooses to walk alongside me.

    These books look interesting. Thank you for the heads up on them!

  16. My boys are teens and we are struggling in this stage of their life right now.
    My advice is to make sure you apologize when you are wrong and to make sure
    that you find something each day to praise them for.

    Blessings,
    Janet
    [email protected]

  17. Parenting children of any age is always a challenge. With a 14 year old and a 7 year old there are certain conversational topics of the 14 year old that need to be censored for the 7 year old leaving all of us feeling awkward and limiting our dinner time talk. I would love to know the 150 questions so we could be all-inclusive.

  18. At this stage (my boys are 8 and 12), I try to teach each of them to listen to each other and not be judgmental because they are in different stages. My 12 year old is maturing and some of his questions and comments are, to say the least, a little out of my league, but I try to keep an open mind and share my thoughts honestly. My 8 year old is all baseball, skinned knees and elbows. The best way the four of us communicate is at the dinner table. Every night we can, we eat at the table together. We talk about everything that has happened that day. We take turns saying the blessing, and saying our good-night prayers, and I’m happy to say that my boys are still at the age where it’s okay for mom to tuck them in at night!

  19. Mary DeMuth is one of my favorite authors. I’ve read a number of her fiction books, but none of her parenting books. What an awesome give-away!

    Our family’s favorite way to connect and spend time together is to pack a picnic supper, stuff for hot cocoa/coffee, and smores fixings and head up to Skyline Drive to watch the sunset from one of the overlooks. We do this many Friday nights, as it’s only about 10 minutes from our home. The views are gorgeous and we love enjoying God’s creation together. We’ve seen deer, rabbits, coyotes, and bears while we’re up on Skyline Drive. But the best part is that we just spend time together–talking, laughing, being together. We really look forward to these times.

  20. Stop the hurry – relax and enjoy the moment with your child— most stuff can wait.

    Taking one child at a time out for breakfast or a snack. This gets both parent and child away from distractions at home. This gets one on one time.

    Also, making it a habit of saying I love you before ending a phone conversation, going out the door or . . .

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