No, not as in a desperate housewife.
I mean do you ever feel in your mothering that you are in a desperate place?
Exhausting round-the-clock babies.
Physically draining school-aged kids.
Emotionally draining teens.
My friends Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae are releasing their new book today entitled Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breath. Here is what I said in my endorsement of it:
“Motherhood is an emotional roller coaster ride. One moment finds you blessed and proud; the next leaves you stressed and drained. The ups and downs wreak havoc on your heart, often knocking the wind right out of your maternal sails. Desperate is a moms manual for what to do–and what not to do–when you feel the ride is just too scary and you don’t know how you’ll ever hold on. Sarah’s honest questions and Sally’s seasoned advice, laced with biblical insight and hopeful encouragement, will enable mothers of all ages and stages to find strength amidst the struggles, calm with every climb and peace in every plunge.”
If you’d like to know more about this fabulous book (and some cool freebies they are offering) I’ve included links below.
They are also hosting a Twitter party tonight at 9 pm EST. Be sure to check out this wonderfully honest mentoring book for moms.
MY GIVEAWAY: Two of you who comment on this post will win a copy of Desperate. Just tell us this:
What part of mothering leaves you most desperate?
For me? Watching my kids make bad choices sometimes and then suffer the fallout. It seems it would be easier to over-control them and yet, I know they need to learn hard lessons for themselves.
How about you? What makes you a desperate mom sometimes?
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I would love to read this one… thanks for the opportunity.
Please excuse me hogging your blog with my replies. I just feel compelled as an almost empy nester (21 year old still lives at home, full time.) that I can at least share my own experiences. I love your blog and wonder if this book will benefit an empty nester. I can’t say that I know everything ever.. I just have the childhood raising experiences of more than just my own children. There were days when I had eight children under four! Honestly, I don’t know how I got anything done and yet I got more done then that I can today. :) ~Heidi
My most desperate times as a mom were an ugly custody battle when my boys were a about 7 and 3 (and my ex disappearing w/ them for the longest 24 hrs. of my life; since we hadn’t been to court yet we both had equal rights to them and since he was a teacher and it was almost Christmas break, he could have kept them away for 10 days until our court date; he only brought them back when the police chief contacted his girlfriend and got a message through that scared my ex enough to bring them back) and as they were older, my older son had some problems w/ depression in HS and college. My sons have been able to have free college tuition since their dad is now a college professor (and we get along great now, btw.) My older one had trouble deciding on a major and that and girl problems contributed to two different semesters when he just quit going to class toward the end of the semesters, ruining his grades and greatly upsetting his father and me. I’m happy to report he hasn’t had problems w/ depression in several yrs. (he was only on meds for about a yr.), he has a 4-yr. relationship w/ a lovely girl (they’re engaged) and he graduated w/ good grades last May, at age 23, only a yr. late. He’s happy, productive, employed, helpful and responsible–I couldn’t ask for more from him. His younger brother is a sophomore in college and doing great also–we’re very blessed.
Good job mom. I understand the depression that my son also faces, while trying not to feel guilty that he inherited it, far back, like I have. I haven’t ever told him that he is depressed, but I can tell when he’s lazy and he’s still at home, full time. My girls are in school, out of state, and the other a local Nanny that lives at home on her days off. I just work on the knees with carpet burns, in prayer, as much as I can for us all. :)
I feel so desperate when my kids fight and argue and make bad choices that can really hurt them. I’ve caught my kids being disobedient and lying and being ugly to others at times and it breaks my heart. I so want the best for them.
Life and it’s twists and turns makes me desperate, Something is always changing and between work, home and all the in between stuff there just never seems to be enough of me to go around.
i think it is when my 2 yr old is trying to get my attention while im taking care of my 6 mo olds needs.. i just feel like i dont have enough for both sometimes…
There was a time in my previous life (as it seems to me now) that I had to find time to occupy many children while I ran two businesses from home. My husband was full time ship-bound Navy and I was the serious Widow left to do it all way too often.
What helped me was a fun box that I stored on the refrigerator. It only came down when I needed to distract myself from a child for another child or the children from a client in person or on the phone. I just put the box on the floor and when the situation changed up went the box. The box was just fun stuff that they over enjoyed, like stickers, coloring books (now they have washable markers, oh the joy that would have been, but I had a big kitchen floor that I was able to keep them on.
I knew I never had the time and I fell into a trap of personal obsessiveness of perfect clean home, for clients and daycare. I, often, only really rested at nap time. (It also helped to have a secured back yard, locked so they couldn’t get out.. there was a few sitting moments when I didn’t have to run to someone’s rescue. I savored those mere moments and looked forward to my Sunday, after church nap. Good luck. We can only do what can do, without manuals. :)
I feel most desperate when my 11 year old son pulls away from me. When he was younger, I yelled at him too much. I have been in counseling and have really changed my behavior toward him, but, he is still carrying anger toward me. It’s so hard for me to see the hurt he still carries. It makes me feel desperate. Sometimes I think he would be better off with another mother! I know we will prevail, and be better down the road. I also know the pain I feel is nothing compared to the hurt I gave to him by yelling at him. I’m just desperate to have things get better.
There were times when my now adult children were younger. My eldest daughter was so hurt by feeling she was punished more than the others for the same “crime.” (and I am a yeller with stress) But I was consistent and she never stopped yelling at me from time-out, so she was given a few more minutes, often.
Now she’s older and in her third year of college and she see’s now that (or forgets as she tells me she never felt that way or said that) real life is challenging without a manual, and she appreciates my consistencies. Good luck. :)