Women Who Turned Their Mess Into Their Message: Part One: Linda Kuhar
I’m taking this week to prepare for our son’s high school graduation open house {and nurse my horrid chest cold–prayers welcomed!} And so, I am having some guests on this week; women with amazing stories of how, with God’s power, they overcame an obstacle, adversity or tragedy they never asked for in their life.
For one, it was medical and life-threatening. For the second, it was when her marriage was rocked. Not just by the fact that her husband had been unfaithful to her but also by the discovery that the woman was pregnant with his child. The third guest has a very rare disease that caused her to lose her leg. However, when she lost a limb, she gained a ministry.
Each of these women turned their mess into their message. {I wish I could take credit for that clever saying, but I actually heard it somewhere a few years back. Can’t remember where but I’ve never forgotten it!}
Today, let’s start off the week with our first guest, a woman named Linda.
I met Linda at our Proverbs 31 She Speaks Intensive writers and speakers conference in January when when was in my writer’s small group. As the women in our fabulous group took turns sharing what they wanted to write about, my heart skipped a beat when Linda shared.
She didn’t feel called to share about a certain topic or passion. She felt called to share her story; a story that includes her having advanced cancer, being in a coma and nearly dying only to now be a normal wife and mom with NO lasting effects. She just radiates Jesus and knows God has a reason for her still being here.
She is now a life coach {and giving away two coaching sessions so be sure to read until the end!} and you can meet her here. {I am off to sort through pictures of my boy for the open house. Translation: I’ll be bawling for the next two hours.}
Linda Kuhar is a Christian Life Coach working with women around the globe. She received her certification from Christian Coach Institute in 2010, as well as certification as a Certified Human Behavior Consultant in 2011. In 2012 Linda became a Board Certified Coach with The Center for Credentialing & Education. She’s honored to serve on the Executive Team at Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies. Linda speaks at organizations such as The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Christian radio station New Life 91.9, churches and women’s ministries throughout the Carolinas.
Linda has been married to her high school sweetheart Todd for almost 19 years. They have an amazing 12-year-old daughter Megan who has a passion and love for art. You can find Linda’s popular weekly devotional at www.lindakuhar.com.
Here’s Linda:
May 11, 2009 is a day I will never forget. I had a nagging cough that I had been battling for a few weeks, so I headed to my doctor’s office for a routine sick visit. The doctor decided to send me for a chest x-ray to see if I had pneumonia.
As I proceeded to the radiologist, I started feeling a little unsettled. The x-ray technician asked me if I had been experiencing back pain long and immediately my heart sank. I knew she saw something that was not quite right.
My heart started to race as I waited patiently for the radiologist. The second I saw his face I started to cry. “Mrs. Kuhar, you have a 10cm mass behind your heart and we need to do a CAT scan immediately.”
Within days I was diagnosis with Stage 3 cancer. My life changed permanently within a blink of an eye, and honestly at that point I did not think life could get any worse. Little did I know that, within months, I would be in a coma on life support given less than a 5 percent chance of ever waking up.
I was in a coma for almost four weeks. When the doctor’s told the family to start preparing for my funeral, friends and family gathered in a prayer vigil. It was that very night that changed the outcome of my life. They prayed for divine intervention and our awesome God provided us with an absolute MIRACLE!
I WOKE UP! Upon regaining consciousness, however, I was told I would never breathe or walk again on my own. Time for another miracle.
A year later, only by the power of God, I wasn’t lying in a hospital bed unable to breathe or walk without help. I was able to do both!
But it doesn’t stop there. Not only could I walk….I COULD RUN!
God proved the medical field wrong once again and I ran my very first half marathon with Team In Training for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. God graciously took those months of chemotherapy and intensive care in the hospital and turned them into 13.1 miles of strengthened vitality.
Today, my life’s purpose is to love and encourage women to be all God created them for through Christian Life Coaching. You can watch my miracle video here. I pray my story inspires each of you to never give up and trust that God always has the last word.
GIVEAWAY: Linda is giving two of you who leave comments a one-hour life coaching session. Just tell us this: in what area of life do you currently feel stuck? In procrastination, managing your home or time, negative self-talk or a relationship struggle? Coach Linda’s one hour call can help you begin to ge un-stauck! {winners announced Monday}
I am challenged by bipolar disorder; many times I’m confused as to what is the illness and what is plain old ugly sin. I’m also a negative self-talker and perfectionist; therefore often paralyzed to do anything. I have a wonderful, God-fearing husband and 5 fabulous children. My family loves me and my Father loves me. I can’t seem to make that head-knowledge into heart-knowledge.
Thanks for sharing your story. I love to hear what God does in the lives of His children, especially when miracles happen! I have been struggling with contentment and trusting. Seeing one ministry coming to a possible end and not knowing what comes next makes it hard to find contentment everyday, right where the Lord has me, and not trusting him with my future. Not knowing whats next really messes with me.
Great encouragement! Defining my area of struggle is a struggle in itself. I am diabetic but not in good control, overweight, not exercising. I am a walking cancer miracle myself, which should have been the health kick in the pants needed , but not so much. I love my job and hate it too. Financially I am overwhelmed. All that being said, I am not typically a gloomy Gus, and I don’t like feeling this way. Thank you for the encouragement that there is a way to win and a mess can become a message!
I am stuck in my perspective on raising children. I am often frustrated with my little guys and I am always looking for more when I feel like a disappointment at times with what I have been entrusted with.
*I have actually made huge progress in this area, but I feel like I have kind of gotten stuck on a plateau. The future can sometimes seem hazy and unsure.
I am working on regrouping after a significant marriage upheaval. We’ve been married for 20 years. My husband and I are determined to regain our relationship, but are not entirely sure how to start. It is further complicated by the fact that I am a Christian and my husband is not. He is now attending church with me…but for me, not for him. I’ll take it, but I want so much more for him! He is now seeing a therapist, randomly chosen from a list provided by his company’s Employee Assistance Program. I am not seeing anyone and would love some direction.
Such an amazing story of God’s awesome power and grace you have to share.
I am currently battling non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, stage 3. My hope is to glorify God through this journey, yet I just feel like I am in such a confusing drifting muddled mess. It’s a blessed mess, wonderful hubby, 5 kids, 2 children-in-law and 2 grand-babies. I want to share His wonderful love, but I am just doing good some days getting the 2 youngest up and off to school. Would appreciate any advice.
His,
Annette
Annette, I can relate to exactly how you are feeling. When you are in the middle of the battle things tend to be up one day and down the next. The best advice I can give in just a sentence is literally to live one day at a time, from moment to moment. I struggled with looking to far ahead and trying to figure out how everything was going to turn out and that left me exhausted many days. I would love to talk with you! I offer a complimentary 30 minute session if you would like to contact me at http://www.lindakuhar.com Praying for you tonight and trusting God for 100% restoration. Blessings~
If I win the coaching I want to learn how to turn my mess into my message. I have had my share of hurt and disappointment as most of us have, and I believe that it needs to be used for “my ministry”–as my pastor calls it. I was a single parent of two who struggled to make ends meet. My children are adults now and I have found myself working with a single mother of four–triplets who are 2 and a school–aged daughter. I don’t believe that I would be so concerned with this young woman and her children if I hadn’t gone through everything that I went through. I remember how lonely and difficult single parenting was and now that I am on the other side of it I want to support and encourage others.
Time management is my an issue. The last three years have brought an ill (and as yet undiagnosed) daughter back to live with me, divorce, loss of my job, my return to college and two relocations. I have reached my juggling capacity!
I’m very stuck. Two years ago this week I moved out of my home and into an apartment. The sad thing is that I’ve never unpacked. My space is small and my stuff overwhelming. I can’t seem to get it together and unpack and get on with life. Truth be told that despite our divorce being final for nearly a year now, unpacking represents that I’m taking that first step to a new life and frankly, that’s paralyzing. I find that when my internal life is in turmoil, my home environment tends to be the outward manifestation of all that … I’m also a bit stuck professionally, but grateful every day to have work.
I would be grateful for any help I can get to get past all of this.
Debra, What great awareness you have about your situation! That is the first step to moving forward. So guess what? You are further along than you realized. I would love to talk with you and help you get moving!
I just struggle with the nasty old human nature that wants things to be easy–if I have to get too far out of my zone of comfort, or if it’s something I don’t like to do, I just tend not to do it. Procrastination is tied into this, too. I mean, I have a professional job, a great husband, a 4 year old son…but I can’t seem to get it together to get my home decluttered, let alone truly clean. I would love to be a writer, but I am not organized enough to set up a dedicated time and place to do it. I would love to sing for a living, but auditions require travel, which requires money for travel…
I just need to break the chain of looking for the easy way out. I just don’t seem to know how.
Carissa in eastern Iowa
My husband and I struggle with time management. He is handicapped and confined to a wheelchair so I help him with feeding, bathing, etc. I work full time as a kindergarten teacher. For the past six years he was the president and founder of a non-profit organization that hosted a free Christian music festival. God has now led him to step away from that and participate in another local ministry that hosts Christian events. Between this and me being the only one (his parents are not able to help much right now because his father is fighting brain cancer, my parents help but I don’t like to “over-ask” them) to do the cleaning, cooking, shopping, bill paying, and taking him and myself places, we have a lot on our plate and often end up going to bed late, or trying to do too much in one day. Any advice on how to manage/balance everything would be appreciated.
Heather, I’m wondering if you would be able to find a few more support systems that you could delegate some responsibilities to? I know in my church and community there are many people who would love the opportunity to volunteer some of their time to show other’s the love of Christ. Just one thought. Also, I just want to say what an incredible job you are doing! You are an amazing women and you deserve many blessings.
I am struggling with getting through each day. I am dx bi-polar and have a 4yr old and 2yr old that I stay at home with. I should see each day as a blessing but just go through the motions and keep everyone safe and going to their camps. On the outside I look fine or close to it. My husband is older and knew alot would fall on me but not most things. Our 2yr old was dx with cerebral palsy but is walking fine at 16mo old and running. But now concerned about her talking. I don’t deal with stress well and now husband may be going to hospital about his back. He didnt work today for a different reason. I guess I am overwhelmed.
Kim Owen
I love to see God’s miracles still happening today! Like your story, we have a 15 year old boy in our community that has Leukemia that just had a bone marrow transplant. He has really been a testimony to the doctors, nurses, and any one who has any connection with his story. The community has come together to pray for him and support him and his family. It has been a blessing to see this happen.
I have been struggling with financial issues. My husband decided to work from home 11 years ago and we have been struggling to make ends meet for the last 5 to 6 years. He does not want me going to work, but I do not see how we are going to make it if I don’t. I have picked up a few small part-time jobs and we are just getting by. I feel that I need to work full time if he isn’t, but he would rather I not work outside of the home. I do not want to usurp authority over him, but it has been hard to sit back and trust God to provide. We have had many people who have helped us financially in the last several years, but I feel guilty letting this continue. I struggle with what God wants me to do.
Linda, you have an amazing story! I think this will be the third time I’ve watched it and it still gives me goose bumps! God is so good!
The area I am struggling in today is with my health. For the past 10 years I have been dealing with polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, and precancerous cells in my cervix. After 2 laparoscopic surgeries, two rounds of hormone shots, burning cells, and biopsies I am having a hysterectomy on June 12….. Did I mention I’m only 30, have no children, and only been married a year?!? Right now I am trying not to have the “why me” attitude. I am just trying to remember that God gives the hardest battles to the strongest warriors. And although I can not see it, he will get the glory! This morning, I got a little down thinking about I will never be a birth mother. But, I must remember that God already has a plan, and I don’t have to be a birth mother to be a mother. I just ask for prayers for strength not fear; and understanding not bitterness.
Boy, I am not sure I can talk about just ONE area in my life that needs help. I am literally feeling hopeless right now. My son is currently sitting in the office at school waiting to receive his 3rd out of school suspension for this school year. I am an extreme procrastinator, managing my home has never come easy for me and I am reminded almost daily how badly I stink at it. Then there’s my marriage. I have been married almost 15 years. Three kids and a travel baseball season later and we hardly know each other. He has no DESIRE to be just with me and focus on our relationship. I just want to be desired and pursued. My relationship with God is suffering. I can’t go to him right now. I am angry, lonly, sad, anxious. I feel abandoned.
I am touched each time I hear or read your story, Linda. Thank you for choosing to use your life for God’s glory. May He continue to pour out through you. Love, Shelly
Thanks, Linda, for sharing your amazing story and turning your mess into a message of hope. My biggest struggle is negative self-talk and the feeling that I must always be perfect. Emotionally i go up and down like an elevator and in spite of counseling, reading God’s Word, Bible studies, etc. I continue to revert back to negative patterns. I so much want to turn my mess into a message.
Pam, I understand 100% about the negative self-talk. I’ve struggled with it my entire life! I came to realize the negative talk was really shame the enemy has put on me over the years. It is a process to overcome this, however I choose to believe God’s truth today and refuse the lies from enemy. One day at a time. One moment at a time.
I’m just stuck – in all areas. I know what needs to be done and I can clearly see and think through ways to break down big goals into smaller steps, but for whatever reason – I’m just not taking those steps and it’s not because of any one reason. I’m a little puzzled by it because I’m physically and mentally capable, so now I’m trying to identify why I’m not . . . . . . It would be refreshing to have some help at trying to get over this little seemingly apathetic hurdle!
Stacey, it sounds like a little bit of accountability would go a long way. You’re almost there. You can do it!!
I praise God for your testimony this morning. I am headed for consultations this very week regarding my newly found cancer. I needed to read a positive outcome story today. God is always GOOD – all the time!
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this inspiring story! I am a minister’s wife who struggles with time management & setting priorities. It’s hard to balance work, ministry & home needs.
Thanks for sharing!! As much as I would love a one hour session with you to see which direction to go with my career, I would give this 1 hour session to my sister. I believe she is getting a divorce for all the wrong reasons and needs to see that she needs to add God to the equation before making this decision.
Linda, Your amazing story has touched me deeply. I also am a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma survivor. Mine was stage 3B…with a removal of some of my liver to keep it from Stage 4. That was back in 1975 when I was 25 and a new school teacher. I went through many, many hoops of doctors and tests until they discovered it was Hodgkin’s and began chemo. Back in that day the only nausea medication given I was allergic to. I went down to 85 pounds, but finally survived and have been cancer free since Feb., 1978. Since that time I have had one health issue after another with many more surgeries. Two times they thought the Hodgkin’s had re-occurred. Instead the U S Health Dept. labs in Bethesda have said, not Hodgkin’s, but sarcoidosis. They also checked my original slides to verify that the first time was Hodgkin’s…what a thought, huh…after all that hell and maybe not Hodgkin’s!
Fast forward past 2 near death experiences & health history to today. I am retired from teaching at last and have had more surgeries but feel unfulfilled in my mission. My life was teaching and coping/recovering from one illness after another. Now I need playmates and a purpose. I continue praying that God will lead me and prepare me for the next step. Prayers for healing for all and purpose for all as well.
I’m struggling right now with the purpose for my life. I feel a specific call from God, but I don’t know how to go about making it happen. It seems overwhelming at times, so I find myself putting it on the backburner, even though I know that pursuing this call would make me so happy and fulfilled!
Lindsay, what a blessing you have identified your specific call. You just need a little clarity and encouragement and you will be able to accomplish all God has called you to!!
Thanks for sharing your story!! I am struggling with surrendering to the Lord my food addiction, and the life He chose for me.
Awesome testimony. It was a blessing to read. It gives me hope since I have a chronic illness of the brain. I feel myself stuck wondering what does God want to do in my life. My daughter is graduating in 1.5 weeks. I’m a single mom with MS. I loss my mom, age 54 & sister, age 32 in 2008 unexpectantly. I know I could not have made it without God or raised my daughter but I wonder why I went through all this. It can’t be for nothing. I still give him glory