Women Who Turned Their Mess Into Their Message: Part Two: Cindy Beall
Today is day two of our series of women who have not only survived a shake up in their life that they never asked for, but they also allowed God to use it for good.
I met a beautiful woman named Cindy this past February when we spoke together at a fabulous event called Feminar in Texas. After I finished my message the first night, I settled into my seat, ready to listen to her not knowing at all what she was going to speak on.
An hour later I literally sat with my mouth wide open and mascara streams finding their way down my cheeks. Her story unfolded before my eyes and ears that night–part soap opera; part tragedy. But, in the end, God won and Cindy and those involved turned a shocking situation into a story of redemption that mirrors the gospel.
Cindy Beall is a writer and speaker. She enjoys watching college football, hanging out with her sons, and sitting on her back porch sipping coffee with her husband, Chris. They were called into full-time ministry in 1995 and have since served at three different churches in three different states. After living in Texas for most of her life and in Memphis, Tennessee, for four years, Cindy now resides in Edmond, Oklahoma. Cindy and Chris have three sons between them which means there is very little pink in their home but a plethora of air soft guns and camouflage. Cindy’s first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released with Harvest House Publishers in 2011. For more information, visit www.cindybeall.com
Cindy, your world was rocked one day. Tell us what happened.
On Tuesday, February 19, 2002, my husband of 9 years dropped a devastating bomb on me. He sat me down and told me about his 22-year long struggle with pornography and that because of that, he’d been unfaithful to me many times during the course of a 2 1/2 year period in our marriage. If that wasn’t enough to break my heart, the final blow was: “One of the women is pregnant and I am pretty sure that I’m the father.”
After you found out what had been going on, what steps did you take to ensure you were doing what God wanted you to?
I sought the Lord like never before. My natural tendency was to cut my losses and divorce him. However, I didn’t have peace with that. My husband was repentant from day one and so I asked God to show me. I begged God for a Word to stand on. God spoke very clearly to me through Habakkuk 2:3 by two different women sharing that verse with me on the exact same day. I knew God was speaking and I was scared to death. But He gently said, “Cindy, I know you don’t understand and you have no idea how I can make anything good come from this situation. But I can and I will. Do you trust me?”
How long did it take for you to build trust back into your marriage?
My husband was an open book from day 1. Nothing was off-limits to me. He literally opened up every aspect of his life to me and never once got defensive if I questioned him or struggled with trusting him. Before I made the decision to stay, he said, “I know you may never trust me again, but if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.” He has done just that and it’s been 11 years. Even though I have grown to trust Chris again, it’s really Jesus in him that I trust. People will fail us and let us down. God never will. So my full trust and hope is in my Heavenly Father.
We want to know how things are at your house nowadays? Tell us about your family today.
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary! We have a busy, full life with our church and three sons. Two of them are ours together and the middle one is Chris’ son and my stepson. But you wouldn’t know it. I love my stepson with all my heart. It was hard at first but God wasn’t kidding when He said He could bring beauty from ashes. My husband is a pastor at LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma City and I get the privilege of speaking to people across the country.
What is the one piece of advice you would give a woman whose world has been turned upside down by a shocking revelation she never planned on? What would you say to her?
The very first thing I would say is how sorry I am for all that has happened. The very next thing I would tell her is that she doesn’t have to decide the rest of her life today. Most people who learn about this kind of devastation feel like they have to make a decision immediately but they don’t. Seek the Father. Give Him your heart. He is trustworthy with it even when humans are not. He will show you.
Thanks Cindy for sharing your story of hope with us!
Cindy wrote a book about her family’s story. Today she is giving away three signed copies of Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken.
To be entered to win, simply leave a comment below telling us who you would give the book to–a friend, relative, your church or local library–or would you read it yourself?
Please be descreet in your commenting since this is a senstive issue. Winners announced Monday.
I would share this with a friend.
I need this book for someone very close to me. Thanks
Amazing….I have the utmost respect for you Cindy! I have to say I have seen your name in my Divorce-Care Material….and I did not know what you had been through…Now you have given me a deeper understanding of what you have gone through; we serve an amazing God -Thank you for sharing your story. God bless You and your family…Keep on keeping on….
I would read it myself, because my husband and I still struggle with our relationship after God brought us out of the drug lifestyle and we have been clean 7 years. God has turned our mess into a ministry because we minister through a faith based 12 recovery program. And even though God’s glory shines brightly, it’s still a struggle. After I finished reading it I would share it with many people, struggling with trust issues in their marriage. Thank you for sharing your message!
If I won one of these books, I would read it before donating it to my church library. I have known several women whose husbands had addictions to pornography. Both are now divorced.
I need this book because I have just about the same issues in my marriage and I just do not know where to go from here
This message has come at just the right time. My daughter and son-in-law just divorced over this issue of infidelity in their marriage of 5 years. Addictions can be overpowering but God can bring hope and healing. My daughter was emotionally devastated to learn of the affairs her seemilgly stable marriage encountered. She could not trust her husband whom she met at a Christian University and voweed to be her soulmate . She needs to know that Jesus can heal her and help her to build trust in any future relationships in her life. This book would definitely benefit my struggling daughter.