Women Who Turned Their Mess Into Their Message: Part Two: Cindy Beall
Today is day two of our series of women who have not only survived a shake up in their life that they never asked for, but they also allowed God to use it for good.
I met a beautiful woman named Cindy this past February when we spoke together at a fabulous event called Feminar in Texas. After I finished my message the first night, I settled into my seat, ready to listen to her not knowing at all what she was going to speak on.
An hour later I literally sat with my mouth wide open and mascara streams finding their way down my cheeks. Her story unfolded before my eyes and ears that night–part soap opera; part tragedy. But, in the end, God won and Cindy and those involved turned a shocking situation into a story of redemption that mirrors the gospel.
Cindy Beall is a writer and speaker. She enjoys watching college football, hanging out with her sons, and sitting on her back porch sipping coffee with her husband, Chris. They were called into full-time ministry in 1995 and have since served at three different churches in three different states. After living in Texas for most of her life and in Memphis, Tennessee, for four years, Cindy now resides in Edmond, Oklahoma. Cindy and Chris have three sons between them which means there is very little pink in their home but a plethora of air soft guns and camouflage. Cindy’s first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released with Harvest House Publishers in 2011. For more information, visit www.cindybeall.com
Cindy, your world was rocked one day. Tell us what happened.
On Tuesday, February 19, 2002, my husband of 9 years dropped a devastating bomb on me. He sat me down and told me about his 22-year long struggle with pornography and that because of that, he’d been unfaithful to me many times during the course of a 2 1/2 year period in our marriage. If that wasn’t enough to break my heart, the final blow was: “One of the women is pregnant and I am pretty sure that I’m the father.”
After you found out what had been going on, what steps did you take to ensure you were doing what God wanted you to?
I sought the Lord like never before. My natural tendency was to cut my losses and divorce him. However, I didn’t have peace with that. My husband was repentant from day one and so I asked God to show me. I begged God for a Word to stand on. God spoke very clearly to me through Habakkuk 2:3 by two different women sharing that verse with me on the exact same day. I knew God was speaking and I was scared to death. But He gently said, “Cindy, I know you don’t understand and you have no idea how I can make anything good come from this situation. But I can and I will. Do you trust me?”
How long did it take for you to build trust back into your marriage?
My husband was an open book from day 1. Nothing was off-limits to me. He literally opened up every aspect of his life to me and never once got defensive if I questioned him or struggled with trusting him. Before I made the decision to stay, he said, “I know you may never trust me again, but if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.” He has done just that and it’s been 11 years. Even though I have grown to trust Chris again, it’s really Jesus in him that I trust. People will fail us and let us down. God never will. So my full trust and hope is in my Heavenly Father.
We want to know how things are at your house nowadays? Tell us about your family today.
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary! We have a busy, full life with our church and three sons. Two of them are ours together and the middle one is Chris’ son and my stepson. But you wouldn’t know it. I love my stepson with all my heart. It was hard at first but God wasn’t kidding when He said He could bring beauty from ashes. My husband is a pastor at LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma City and I get the privilege of speaking to people across the country.
What is the one piece of advice you would give a woman whose world has been turned upside down by a shocking revelation she never planned on? What would you say to her?
The very first thing I would say is how sorry I am for all that has happened. The very next thing I would tell her is that she doesn’t have to decide the rest of her life today. Most people who learn about this kind of devastation feel like they have to make a decision immediately but they don’t. Seek the Father. Give Him your heart. He is trustworthy with it even when humans are not. He will show you.
Thanks Cindy for sharing your story of hope with us!
Cindy wrote a book about her family’s story. Today she is giving away three signed copies of Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken.
To be entered to win, simply leave a comment below telling us who you would give the book to–a friend, relative, your church or local library–or would you read it yourself?
Please be descreet in your commenting since this is a senstive issue. Winners announced Monday.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful testimony. I would love to read Cindy’s book and then pass it on to several friends I know that would benefit from Cindy’s perspective :)
I would love to read this, having experienced and overcome such messes in my own life… and then I’d love to share the book with a friend! Thank you to all your guests for sharing this week. And best wishes to you this graduation week!
Candace
I would love to read this for myself as well as share it with friends who may need it … sounds like a beautiful story
I would share this with a friend of mine and get a copy for our women’s ministry library. I would read it so I had insight and extra knowledge to help women the Lord may place in my path.
I would read it myself and then pass it along. I wish we could all be as strong as you.
I would read this for myself first…my husband cheated prior to us getting married, but I was unaware of it till we had been married a few years, and it is so hard to recover from all the years of lies.
I am trusting God for a full restoration, though I admit I am still in fear that it will happen again. It is so hard to learn to trust. Thank you for sharing your story.
What an amazing testimony! Thank you for being to open. Many women need to hear this and take a page out of your story.
I would read this book then pray for an opening to give to a dear friend.
Broken trust is huge! Rebuilding is hard! Gods love is the healing! It’s been a few years since my mess but at times the distrust ruptures. I could use the book myself and then pass it on when the moment happens!
I would love to read your book. I had the same thing happen to me, without the pregnancy. With the help of a therapist and God we put our marriage back together. Unfortunately my husband was only able to abstain from affairs for 4 years. The second time I had to divorce him as he was no longer interested in working it out and I truly could not go through all that again. It is 20 years later now and I am married to a wonderful man.
I have a friend who is walking through this right mow and I would love to give her this book to encourage her and hear the power of what God can do in her midst..Thank you for sharing your story God bless you .
I have someone dear to me who could so use this book right now. I’m trusting in Jesus for healing and restoration for their situation.
Something similar rocked my families world about 5 years ago. While I turned to God and renewed and strengthened my relationship with God my ex husband ran further from God at a break neck speed. The verse shown to me during this struggle was Philippians 4:8. This verse has touched my life in so many ways. My sons and I still struggle on some days to understand how this could happen when we thought we shared our life with a Godly, family man. I would read this book and then pass it on to other women who have to go through a similar circumstance. Even though not all marriages will be worked out I know God can still bring the good out of the situation if we turn to Him and only Him.
I would read it myself. My world has recently been rocked and I could use these words of encouragement in my marriage.
What a beautiful story of how God takes a mess and turns it into a beautiful story. God has shown grace and forgiveness in my marriage too. I’m so thankful. I would love to read, and I wouldn’t have to look to far to share it with others who could be blessed by the book.
I would like to share this book with our church gals as I am sure there is great wisdom in its pages for women all along the spectrum…thanks for your openness Cindy..God bless!
I would donate this book to my church library.
What an amazing story Cindy has. Like others someone immediately came to mind that I would pass this book on to.
Thank you for writing this book! I would read it and reap the benefits of it, then place it in our church library.
I would keep this book for myself, and then pass it on to someone else. I’m going through something in my marriage right now and really feel like I could benefit from it! Thank you for your story!
i would love to read the book myself; your devotional was touching and challenging.
Bless your continued ministry.
This is a very inspiring testimony of God’s grace. I would really like to read this book. It a true act of forgiveness which is not an easy thing and pass the book along to any other that comes along my path that God reveals. As a Stephen Minister in my church I know this book would be a blessing and appreciated. Thanks for sharing
I would read it myself. Trust had been broken in my marriage and i think I would benefit from hearing her story and how God put it back together again.
I will read it and pass it on to my cousin who is struggling right now.
THank you for your story, Cindy! My story is very similar to yours and I”m in the “recovery” phase right now. It’s been 10 months since D-Day. I would so enjoy reading your book as we are working on restoring our marriage and building a new marriage through Jesus!.
Wow, I’m 10 months too, last August was a hard month! I will pray for you.