Women Who Turned Their Mess Into Their Message: Part Two: Cindy Beall

Today is day two of our series of women who have not only survived a shake up in their life that they never asked for, but they also allowed God to use it for good.

I met a beautiful woman named Cindy this past February when we spoke together at a fabulous event called Feminar in Texas. After I finished my message the first night, I settled into my seat, ready to listen to her not knowing at all what she was going to speak on.

An hour later I literally sat with my mouth wide open and mascara streams finding their way down my cheeks. Her story unfolded before my eyes and ears that night–part soap opera; part tragedy. But, in the end, God won and Cindy and those involved turned a shocking situation into a story of redemption that mirrors the gospel.

Cindy Beall is a writer and speaker. She enjoys watching college football, hanging out with her sons, and sitting on her back porch sipping coffee with her husband, Chris. They were called into full-time ministry in 1995 and have since served at three different churches in three different states. After living in Texas for most of her life and in Memphis, Tennessee, for four years, Cindy now resides in Edmond, Oklahoma. Cindy and Chris have three sons between them which means there is very little pink in their home but a plethora of air soft guns and camouflage. Cindy’s first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released with Harvest House Publishers in 2011. For more information, visit www.cindybeall.com

Cindy, your world was rocked one day. Tell us what happened.

On Tuesday, February 19, 2002, my husband of 9 years dropped a devastating bomb on me. He sat me down and told me about his 22-year long struggle with pornography and that because of that, he’d been unfaithful to me many times during the course of a 2 1/2 year period in our marriage. If that wasn’t enough to break my heart, the final blow was: “One of the women is pregnant and I am pretty sure that I’m the father.”

After you found out what had been going on, what steps did you take to ensure you were doing what God wanted you to?

I sought the Lord like never before. My natural tendency was to cut my losses and divorce him. However, I didn’t have peace with that. My husband was repentant from day one and so I asked God to show me. I begged God for a Word to stand on. God spoke very clearly to me through Habakkuk 2:3 by two different women sharing that verse with me on the exact same day. I knew God was speaking and I was scared to death. But He gently said, “Cindy, I know you don’t understand and you have no idea how I can make anything good come from this situation. But I can and I will. Do you trust me?”

How long did it take for you to build trust back into your marriage?

My husband was an open book from day 1. Nothing was off-limits to me. He literally opened up every aspect of his life to me and never once got defensive if I questioned him or struggled with trusting him. Before I made the decision to stay, he said, “I know you may never trust me again, but if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.” He has done just that and it’s been 11 years. Even though I have grown to trust Chris again, it’s really Jesus in him that I trust. People will fail us and let us down. God never will. So my full trust and hope is in my Heavenly Father.

We want to know how things are at your house nowadays? Tell us about your family today.

We just celebrated our 20th anniversary! We have a busy, full life with our church and three sons. Two of them are ours together and the middle one is Chris’ son and my stepson. But you wouldn’t know it. I love my stepson with all my heart. It was hard at first but God wasn’t kidding when He said He could bring beauty from ashes. My husband is a pastor at LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma City and I get the privilege of speaking to people across the country.

What is the one piece of advice you would give a woman whose world has been turned upside down by a shocking revelation she never planned on? What would you say to her? 

The very first thing I would say is how sorry I am for all that has happened. The very next thing I would tell her is that she doesn’t have to decide the rest of her life today. Most people who learn about this kind of devastation feel like they have to make a decision immediately but they don’t. Seek the Father. Give Him your heart. He is trustworthy with it even when humans are not. He will show you.

Thanks Cindy for sharing your story of hope with us!

Cindy wrote a book about her family’s story. Today she is giving away three signed copies of Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken.

To be entered to win, simply leave a comment below telling us who you would give the book to–a friend, relative, your church or local library–or would you read it yourself?

Please be descreet in your commenting since this is a senstive issue. Winners announced Monday.

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84 Comments

  1. Wow… isn’t it amazing how God can take the mess of our lives and make it something that is useful for His glory and His kingdom!
    I think I would read it first and then give it to a close friend who is struggling in her marriage.

  2. I would read it myself I had a similar thing happen to me . When it does you think you are the only one who has ever gone through this type of thing,Thanks for sharing

  3. I would read it myself I had a similer thing happen to me.Thanks for sharing yu think your the only one that has ever gone through this.You helped me.

  4. I would read the book myself. I am dealing with a betrayal that has shaken me like nothing ever before. The person is my own daughter–I don’t know how to ever have a relationship with her again.

  5. I need to read this book and I am going to try & read even if I don’t win a copy. After a pornography revelation & some other problems including lying & more I feel it’s hard to trust my husband. After I read it I would share it with my sister. Then I would share my copy with other women via the church library. I am encouraged to know that a marriage can heal even even though the trust has been broken.

  6. Oh my. I would definitely read it myself as this us the exact place I find myself at this very moment. Our story changed dramatically back in April and continues to change daily. I’m learning so much, but the trust issue is the one closest to my heart. Can’t wait to read the book!

  7. I would give it to a young friend who still struggles with the news of her husbands addiction to pornography. They are young and military and just had a baby together. Wanting to learn how to deal with that devastating news and be the wife and mom the Lord has for her to be. I have been looking for a place for her to get daily reading and encouragement in this area of her life. Thank you for being willing to share your hurts, struggles and victories in this area. I would buy myself a copy because I too had this news broken to me Easter 2011 and still struggle at times.

  8. I have friend who is going through a difficult time right now, including dealing with a cheating husband. I don’t know if their marriage can be saved, but either way my friend can use all of the encouragement and prayers that I can give her. I would give this book to her.

  9. Have a friend in a very similar situation. I will be referring her to Cindy’s blog. Would love be able to share this book with her as well.

  10. Thank you for your beautiful story of Jesus’ redemption and forgiveness. I want to encourage everyone out there that forgiveness is powerful but it does take time. Don’t rush it. I was the one who had an affair and I expected my husband to divorce me. He didn’t. He loves God with all His heart and God said to both of us that if we worked at it, He would make it better than it ever was. I was completely broken but today we are both healed (after a very long journey and only by God’s grace) and have been married for over 16 years with 6 gorgeous children. Our God is the God of miracles and NOTHING is impossible for Him! Bless you.

  11. I would share this with the church library, there were not many resources at church when my world was shaken. Thank you for sharing!

  12. I wake up some days certain today is the day that I can’t take the sadness any longer and that I must leave my marriage. There are other days when I look at my life and think well, this could be so much worse that I guess I should stay. Our marriage trust was broken in 2007 when my husband choked me and locked me in a bathroom. Since then I have lived with the reality that although I have been able in large part to forgive my husband, I have not been able to forgive myself for staying. I pray that I will be led to some peace. I feel as though my soul is withering.

  13. I would definitely love to read the book and then pass it around for others to read so that it can help them in whatever they may be going thru in their marriage. I have been through a similiar situation and although at first it was hard to trust but with God’s help it was definitely possible. Today I am married for 14 years and I am glad i didnt throw in he towel. “What God has put together let no man set asunder”

  14. Dear Karen,
    I am so touched by the story, I would like to have this book read it and share with one of my best friends by name Sophy. She’s a Christian and is in the middle if a divorce case, I’ve been praying with her to trust God to restore her marriage back and also trust her husband again..thanks.

    Pauline
    Nairobi- Kenya.

  15. has anyone experienced emotional infidelity?? everything and anything is ok since there is not a sexual relationship BUT in every instance of life the other persons are placed in a number one position. and the pattern keeps being repeated and everytime the family is left in financial and emotional shambles.

  16. I would give this book to my sister. She faced similar situation in her marriage. Although it was already two years ago, she still struggles with trusting her husband again. Thank you for this opportunity

  17. Thank you, Cindy, for sharing your story and the message of hope and redemption.
    Karen, thank you for bringing it to us. I’d love to read the book!

  18. I would love to read this book as this was an issue in my first marriage and then share it and the wisdom in it with others.

  19. Unfortunately, my husband also has an addiction to pornography. He doesn’t think that there is anything wrong with it, but it really upsets me. I’ve told him how I feel but he continues on with it anyway. It’s so frustrating. I don’t think he has cheated on me, but because of his addiction, I worry about it constantly. It is very stressful. I wish he would give it up, but I don’t think he’s willing. I will keep praying about it.

  20. Oh, how I’d hoped my own story would end this way, but instead I’m in the middle of negotiating my divorce.

    I did all that God asked of me, and I’m not sorry because I can proudly tell my daughter I did everything to try and keep our family together.

    God has great plans for me and my daughter, but I am ready to move on. I’m glad there are books like this that are available to couples who want to repair their marriage together. Since it’s too late for my marriage, of donate this book to our church’s counseling program. They have helped me through this horrible time in my life.

  21. I would love to read this myself and then put it in my husbands study. My husband struggled with pornography for a while and we have worked through that. My husband is a pastor and does a lot of counseling and both of us have people come to us with this struggle. So it would be great to have this resource to learn from, refer to and suggest others to read.

  22. I would read the book. I too have went through a very dark time of my husband being unfaithful. He actually left me and was with her for about 6 months. We finally got back together but healing is not easy. I am thankful for my faith in God. We have an awesome God. Little by little I am healing.

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