The Dangerous Familiar {or why we need one another}
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Did you find your way here after reading my Proverbs 31 devotion today called The Dangerous Familiar? If so, welcome! {If not, click here to read this devotion about returning to destructive habits and sins, even when we truly desire not to}
The Dangerous Familiar.
Does that sound familiar? My pastor in high school, when I first began my relationship with God, called them “besetting sins”. Those wrongful behaviors that we just can’t seem to shake. And so? We return to them over and over again in a viscous cycle of defeat.
Maybe it is lying. Or bitterness and resentment. Some choose adultery. Or porn. Or stealing. It can be gluttony, unrighteous outbursts of anger. Gossip. Jealousy. Prayerlessness.
The list is endless, really. Sometimes the battle against these sins seems endless too.
Why do we—just like our cat Dash in the devotion—return over and over again to the dangerous familiar? Especially when we know from past experience that it never ends well?
In the devotion I wrote:
“Today’s verse labels those familiar places that enslaved us before we knew God as “weak and miserable.” Paul writes these words to the Christians: “Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God — or rather are known by God — how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?” (Galatians 4:8-9).
And that is just what returning to old habits makes us — weak and miserable.
Determine today to stop hiding out in old destructive habits. Instead, come out into the light of His glorious grace and learn a new method of coping. Race to Him instead of running back to your old ways. His Word is alive and active. It can help us break horrible habits and form new, Jesus-pleasing ones as we reply with a resounding “No” to returning to the dangerous familiar.”
Easier said than done? Yes. But I have found a strategy that helps me with my “besetting sin”, my “dangerous old familiar”:
Accountability.
I’ve often wondered why, in the New Testament, when Jesus sent someone to perform a task for him, usually two were sent. In the early days of the church, the disciples were sent out in pairs. And when it comes to confessing our sins and shortcomings, of course we are to take these to God himself, but do you know what else we are to do?
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.” James 5:16 (HCSB)
Yes. Confess. Confess your sins. TO ONE ANOTHER.
Now, I don’t take that to believe it means to everyone in your contacts list in your phone. Just pick one person. Or maybe two. Or three in some cases. But obey what this verse urges and confess.
I LOVE the way the Amplified Version of the Bible reads. It explains more in depth what was meant in the original Greek language that the Bible was written in:
“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].”
Did you catch something else? We not only confess. We pray for each other. Prayer is powerful. Dynamic in its working.
I plan to write more another day about how I have accountability partners in my life. I have one for my marriage. Another for my ministry. And yes, I have an accountability partner for my “dangerous familiar”. She is someone to whom I not only can confess when I am tempted to sin. {Or when I just did!}, but she prays for me, offers words of sincere encouragement, and the occasional straight-shooting’, this-is-for-your-own-good hard truth I need to hear. Accountability partners needs to be both tender and tough.
I just love my accountability partner. Most days. ;-)
What are your thoughts on this topic? I’d love to hear them!
Please leave a comment today. One of you will be randomly chosen to receive a a giveaway of her latest book and Bible study DVD series, LET. IT. GO.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith.
This giveaway includes the book LET. IT. GO. along with the 6-week DVD teaching series including one Bible study guide.
You may watch and do this Bible study alone or gather a few friends or church members and form a group.
LET. IT. GO. is a somewhat humorous, yet spiritually practical book will help you to:
- Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
- Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
- Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
- Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
- Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God
This article was perfect timing in my life. I am struggling to change some things in my life and tend to keep running back to the dangerously familiar. I got to thinking though… how do things become that way in the first place? A “habit” from repetition. An enjoyment somehow and we need to seek this enjoyment in those things that are good for us and healthy; A habit that needs repetition. Thank you for sharing this and giving us a little peace of mind knowing that we all struggle with this. It’s nice to know we are not alone and that God can help us in those struggles. We just need a little repetition to get us going in the right direction!
So needed this today. TY
I’m all for having an accountability partner. I do have a husband that I love very much and we’ve been Christians for 32 years. We do pray together and we do share spiritual things together, so I know that is a healthy marriage and I’m grateful for it. Yet, I do have a couple girlfriends who have known me for many years and have watched me raise my five children. They know me well. I trust them and I meet with them one day a week just about every week. I confess things like attitudes of disrespect or a conflict with another person that I’m struggling with or just to be refreshed and encouraged about walking out my life on a daily basis so I reflect the love of God to others even if I’m not talking to someone—you know–those daily chores of shopping and going out in public. I’m mindful of how I act. We all need to be encouraged and I’m 100% behind the idea of having someone who loves you and that you can trust to be a prayer partner and a support to you. God bless this ministry that is always coming alongside Christian women—your help to us is so appreciated!!!
I really needed this today! What creatures of habit we are! One of the first Acripture verses I ever learned was 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” So, it’s very hard for me to understand why I keep going back! Perhaps I need to pin this verse all over my house? Thanks for sharing this devotion :)
I love the idea of having a friend be the person I confess too. They wouldn’t condemn you, but rather pray for you. I am sending this blog and proverbs 31 ministries to one of my closest friends to ask her.
“Let it Go” I’ve been hearing that a lot and I struggle with doing it on a daily basis. I so want to have victory
Thank you for your devotion this morning. I need an accountability partner so I don’t run back to the dangerously familiar. It is such a hard habit to break but all things are possible with our God!
I am a Work in progress . Peace, mouth shut, eyes wide open to Him.
Wonderful devotion today! I know I retreat into chocolate and books when I get stressed out. They are my escape! I do wish that I had someone close enough to have such an accountability partner. Even though the idea is a bit scary, I can only imagine the good it would do for both of us! Blessings to you Karen!!
I love it! One of my moms best quotes was Let It Go. I need the reminder daily!!
Thank you for this post! Such a good reminder not to allow the familiarly dangerous to control my actions.
An accountability partner is so important! I learned this through much heartache four years ago when my husband of 19 years had an affair. It was not until he had an accountability partner that we were able to work thru things. But I learned that he was not the only one who needed an accountability partner I also needed this help.
Paul’s struggle to do what he doesn’t want and. To do what he wants in Romans 7:19 comes to mind. I long for the day where the familat habits are those that lead to life and Godliness. Each time we say no to the dangerous familiar and yes to God that becomes a nearer reality.
Thank you for this reminder.
Joanna
Oh LORD GOD, thank you for this message today. Teach me through your Holy Spirit to run to you, not to my past to comfort myself and open myself to the attacks of the enemy. Thank you that we are not slaves to sin. Amen
What a great message of encouragement today! Praise You Jesus!
Thank you Father for the ways you find to reach
each of us. The Dangerously Familiar is a very easy place for me. Especially when I am not living prayerfully
Thank you for this excellent reminder
I am humbled by reading your devotional this morning. I SO needed to hear this!! When life gets crazy busy, stressful & I feel overwhelmed; just like your cat a Dash, I run right back to my old coping skills/ways. Thanks for sharing!
What do they say, takes one to know one. Truely awesome article that went right to the heart. I especially felt God’s nugging when I read your prayer at the end. Thank you so much.
Such a timely message for me. Bet you didn’t know you are an agent of The Lord. I never put it together before that we default to what is familiar, regardless of whether it’s positive or negative. Thank you for this fresh, new perspective!
We need to make Jesus the familiar that we turn to instead of our “old habits”. Not always easy but the more we make ourselves aware, the easier it will become.
Thank you for the reminder to run to Jesus and his Word instead of falling into old habits- to the familiar. Just what I needed to hear today!
This devotion is so timely for me. There is so much going on right now and I have found myself running back to the familiar instead of looking to God and trusting Him to work all things for my good. Thank you for the reminder and encouragement.
My dangerous familiar is “gossip”. It’s probably because of my insecurities, and I want to build “me” up. I’m feeling God’s nudges and praying about it. Another one is “comfort food”. Yikes, that’s hard. Thank you for your Godly wisdom. Bless you!
I sit here amazed by the perfect timing of your P31 devotion and subsequent blog post. I’m recently working at getting back off 15 pounds I gained this year, of 70 I had originally lost since 2009, and this was not a good week nutritionally.
My 2014 started off very rough and one of my reactions to the circumstances was to resort back to overeating. Until I recently decided to get serious about reigning it in and getting back to a healthier weight I did not realize how hard it is to turn away from the path of the “dangerous familiar”.
Thank you for listening to God’s prompting to write these posts. I was spoken to by them and reminded once again that God knows what I’m going through. I have an accountability partner, along with a blog I report to regularly. I know with God’s help and some elbow grease work on my part I can return to the place of my good relationship with food again.
Have a good weekend!
Very timely message for my life. So many things that I worry about that aren’t really a priority. And also so many ‘innocent’ things I think I am getting away with. God sees it all, knows me best, and loves me so much He wants to help me be set free.
This article was truly a slap in my face. How could have I stepped so far from God? I need encouragement. I need accountability. Thank you for your words! Truly inspiring.