Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me
Today I’ve invited my friend Lisa Jacobson from Club 31 Women to guest post on the topic of marriage.
Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
~ Proverbs 31:11 ~
That was the name of the restaurant.
I can even remember what I ordered that night: Scallops Provencal. Cooked in butter, garlic, lemon, white wine . . . but I’d better stop there.
Fresh seafood is considered something of a specialty here in the Pacific Northwest and High Tides Grill is known for some of the best.
So my husband and I were very willing to meet our longtime friends there for dinner. We all enjoyed a lovely evening together – good food and good fun. Both friends have a terrific sense of humor and my sides ached by the end of our time with them.
Still laughing as we climbed into the car to go home, I noticed my husband was unusually quiet. So I asked him, “Tired, Honey?”
No, that wasn’t it.
Then it occurred to me. “Are you upset?”
He didn’t answer, but my instincts told me yes.
“Oh,” I add sympathetically. “Did John say something that bothered you?” (Might be he was rather funny, but he could be offensive at times too).
No, that wasn’t it either.
Hmmm . . . thought about it for a minute or so.
“It’s not ME, is it? Did I do something??”
My mind mentally raced through the entire evening, trying to think of what I could have said or done to have offended him. I drew a blank.
But after asking a few questions, we began discussing it. In all our joking around that night, we got to teasing my husband about one of his quirky characteristics. It was all in fun and friendship, mind you.
Or so I thought.
But my husband – the Man I Love – didn’t appreciate this kind of humor. Not one bit. In particular, he didn’t appreciate my participation in it.
Please understand, it was never my intention to hurt him. Or dishonor him.
But that was what I’d done. Both of those. And I felt simply terrible for having done so. It was wrong and the opposite of what I truly thought about him.
Something of a low-tide moment in our marriage.
I asked his forgiveness, of course, and he gave it. But I decided then and there that I never wanted to do anything like that again.
My husband needs to know that he can count on me to always speak well of him in front of others. That he didn’t have to be concerned about “what I’d say next” to other people. That I’d never again look for that little laugh – at his expense.
That he could trust me.
Because I have my husband’s heart. It’s in my hands and not to be treated lightly or carelessly.
Like I did that night. No way.
He needs to know that his heart is safe with me.
Sometimes, as wives, we can forget that his heart is in our keeping. We have this incredible privilege to look after him – in public, as well as in private – and that’s something to take quite seriously.
His heart is safely tucked in mine.
~ Lisa Jacobson, Club31Women.com
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and author, and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children.
She’s also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order).
She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. You can find her sharing her passion for marriage, home, and family over at Club31Women.
Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me is an excerpt from Lisa Jacobson’s book, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband. You can enter to win a copy of her book below, as well as the companion book, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, written by her husband Matthew L. Jacobson. Simply leave a comment with your thoughts after reading this post.
Hmmmm… thanks for the reminder. Good things to ponder here.
This is such truth! And it shames me that sometimes I do speak and not realize until far too long after that I messed up.
How perfectly stated! This is such an important part of a relationship between a husband and wife. Life is hard on the “outside”, our spouse needs to know who has his back! As wives we are entrusted to be our husband’s safe haven at the end of each day. It is equally as important that our husbands realize we need safe keeping as well. Build up and not tear down!
I have been guilty of this in the 47 years we’ve been married. I truly want to be his best friend; thank you for this important reminder.
After 40 years of marriage, I know for certain that I have been guilty of this same action more times than I care to admit. Caught up in an all-in-fun moment, it is a challenge to step back and ask yourself, “if the joke was on me would I appreciate it”? Even if we can convince ourselves that we wouldn’t mind, we probably shouldn’t assume that our partners would feel the same way. This is a great reminder to us all. If a funny story needs telling, perhaps it is best told by the person who owns the story!
Thanks for this post. Such a good reminder to me.
Great post. It’s easy to think we are being funny when in fact we are coming across mean or degrading to the one we love. I’m always looking for ways to love my husband better, to show him how much he means to me. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.