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Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me

 

Cute teen couple walking along beach.

Today I’ve invited my friend Lisa Jacobson from Club 31 Women to guest post on the topic of marriage.

 

Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

~ Proverbs 31:11 ~

High Tides.

That was the name of the restaurant.

I can even remember what I ordered that night: Scallops Provencal. Cooked in butter, garlic, lemon, white wine . . . but I’d better stop there.

Fresh seafood is considered something of a specialty here in the Pacific Northwest and High Tides Grill is known for some of the best.

So my husband and I were very willing to meet our longtime friends there for dinner. We all enjoyed a lovely evening together – good food and good fun. Both friends have a terrific sense of humor and my sides ached by the end of our time with them.

Still laughing as we climbed into the car to go home, I noticed my husband was unusually quiet. So I asked him, “Tired, Honey?”

No, that wasn’t it.

Then it occurred to me. “Are you upset?”

He didn’t answer, but my instincts told me yes.

“Oh,” I add sympathetically. “Did John say something that bothered you?” (Might be he was rather funny, but he could be offensive at times too).

No, that wasn’t it either.

Hmmm . . . thought about it for a minute or so.

“It’s not ME, is it? Did I do something??”

My mind mentally raced through the entire evening, trying to think of what I could have said or done to have offended him. I drew a blank.

But after asking a few questions, we began discussing it. In all our joking around that night, we got to teasing my husband about one of his quirky characteristics. It was all in fun and friendship, mind you.

Or so I thought.

But my husband – the Man I Love – didn’t appreciate this kind of humor. Not one bit. In particular, he didn’t appreciate my participation in it.

Please understand, it was never my intention to hurt him. Or dishonor him.

But that was what I’d done. Both of those. And I felt simply terrible for having done so. It was wrong and the opposite of what I truly thought about him.

Something of a low-tide moment in our marriage.

I asked his forgiveness, of course, and he gave it. But I decided then and there that I never wanted to do anything like that again.

My husband needs to know that he can count on me to always speak well of him in front of others. That he didn’t have to be concerned about “what I’d say next” to other people. That I’d never again look for that little laugh – at his expense.

That he could trust me.

Because I have my husband’s heart. It’s in my hands and not to be treated lightly or carelessly.

Like I did that night. No way.

He needs to know that his heart is safe with me.

Sometimes, as wives, we can forget that his heart is in our keeping. We have this incredible privilege to look after him – in public, as well as in private – and that’s something to take quite seriously.

His heart is safely tucked in mine.

~ Lisa Jacobson, Club31Women.com

 

100 Ways to Love Printed Copies

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and author, and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children.

She’s also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order).

She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. You can find her sharing her passion for marriage, home, and family over at Club31Women.

Why His Heart Will Always Be Safe With Me is an excerpt from Lisa Jacobson’s book, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband. You can enter to win a copy of her book below, as well as the companion book, 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, written by her husband Matthew L. Jacobson. Simply leave a comment with your thoughts after reading this post.

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34 Comments

  1. My husband is very sensitive. I sometimes forget that. I hurt his feelings every so often. I don’t mean to. This post was a great reminder to me. I love my husband very much and never want to be the one to make him feel bad.

  2. I so needed to hear this message because I have been so guilty of doing this to my husband. Even when he told me that he didn’t appreciate what I said at his expense I just thought he was being too sensitive. Thanks for posting your testimony.

  3. This hits too close. I’ve had quite a few surgeries lately, including one this afternoon on my wrist. and and everyone jokes about it. I was telling my husband how it hurts to hear him join in. I know there’s going to be jokes but I too need to know my heart is safe. But how many times have I done this to my husband “all in fun.” I try very hard not to be disrespectful about him and I’m pretty good about that, but taking the time to watch his face when we’re all joking around I’m not as sensitive. Jokes can be hurtful.

  4. I really needed to read this blog/ email. I have belittled my husband just this past weekend. I need to remember that I have his heart and I need to protect it.
    Thank you for writing your book Lisa.

  5. A good reminder of how quickly we can be drawn into a conversation and say words before thinking! I often say things that would be better unsaid in an attempt to be funny.

  6. Timely post for me to come across today. Going through a tough time in my marriage and I needed this tender image of holding my husband’s heart lovingly in my hands.

  7. This is good for all of us to reflect on. It is so easy to get caught up with everyone in a group of friends when we are talking etc….. but our husbands always need love and affirmation!

  8. MEN….Husbands…. we depend on them, we love them, and yet… we forget how vulnerable they can be. We’ve been married for almost 48 years now. I would love to read this book and continue working on being the wife God has called me to be.

  9. A reminder — yes. But the same thoughtful and kind treatment should be extended by husbands to wives as well. A reminder there, too.

  10. Such a great reminder that my husband should be able to trust me in every area…I should be championing him all the time!

  11. How the Lord sends me just the right reminder at just the right time! Thank you Jesus. I will strive to honor my husband every minute of every day.

  12. This is so timely! A great reminder of the awesome privilege it is to safely keep our husband’s heart and dignity.
    Thank you!

  13. What a great wake up message. Sometimes it is so easy to make a casual negative comment that can hurt much more than we think. Thanks for your insight!.

  14. I have been guilty of this as well but I do try very hard to not say things that make my husband look bad in public. I need to work on it more in private, to let him know how much he is appreciated.

  15. Such a great reminder that our words always need to be honoring to our husbands and that also honors God. I remember in years past how I let sarcasm of friends rub off on me when speaking to my husband. He gentley told me how much he didn’t like it and it wasn’t becoming of me either. I asked forgiveness and hence forth have tried to be more honoring of him with my words, both in his presence and when we are apart.

  16. I agree that this is difficult! I want to always be careful to lift my hubby up, not tear him down!
    I would love this book of ideas, as the ways I express love to him often mean nothing to him. I try to be creative, and it’s just BLAHHH!

  17. It is easy in the moment to “laugh along” with others regarding your spouse, but society does enough blasting of men and their roles…this was GREAT to read to help me remember to always consider his needs before mine and NEVER let trust be an issue. THANK YOU!

  18. Oh I know I have done this before, said something that later I realized was not in support of my beloved. This is something I constantly need reminding of, not because I have ill intent, I just too easily ride the wave of a conversation and do not stop and think. Would love to read your books.

  19. I find it so easy when you are emotional to say things that are not needed. It only hurts others yourself and god . My biggest slip up is when I see unjust and not directed at me at others and I may open and say something that is not edifying. So two things happen here If it does not involve me directly I need to Zipp my mouth! If it does I need to approach the situation cautiously and with love maybe ask question before I start to step on toes. If I need to say something make sure I am saying it from a place of clarity not from my own assumptions!

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