Perfection Rejection {when you just need to stop trying so stinkin’ hard}
Tweet ThisIts Time to Break Up with Perfect
Ever feel the pressure to be the perfect _____________. {You fill in the blank}
The perfect mom. Wife. Worker. Homemaker. Bible study answer-giver in your Bible study group. Poster of perfect posts on Facebook. Pinner of perfect pins on Pinterest. The perfect friend. Daughter. Or daughter-in-law.
You get the picture-perfect picture.
My friend and Proverbs 31 ministry partner Amy Carroll has just released her first book Breaking Up With Perfect and its a total breath of fresh air to all of us girls living in “I must appear to be perfect” land. Here’s what I had to say about it when given the honor of endorsing it:
“Whether you play the ‘good girl’ trying to please God and impress others, or instead you fear that no matter what you do, you’ll never be good enough–for anyone, especially God–you’ll be encouraged by this book. Amy’s presence on the pages provides a warm and honest voice that will enable you to stop performing and start forging an authentic and intimate walk with Christ.”
Would you like to be encouraged by Amy’s “I’ve-been-there” resource for recovering perfectionists (and for those who fear we can’t do anything even close to perfect)? Leave a comment here telling us in what area of life you either:
A. Feel you need to stop pursuing the appearance of perfection
Or….
B. Feel you’ll never be good enough
Three winners will be chosen from among the commenters to win a signed copy of Breaking Up with Perfect.
Ok…let’s here from you.
In what area of life do you need to exercise a little perfection rejection?
I’ll go first….I TOTALLY feel pressure to appear perfect when snapping pics of my house to post online. In fact, I feel like I should move things in the background that are messy or cluttered so they aren’t in the shot. How silly.
Okay…your turn.
I look forward to reading this book! I struggle in every area (wife, mom, homemaker, employee) with not feeling like I measure up.
Oh my, where to start!!
I struggle regularly with “not good enough” in most areas of my life: wife, mom, family member, friend, Christian….
Can’t wait to read this book!
i cannot seem to pick one area, since there are so many! I echo your “making the photo space perfect”. I even used to do the same thing to my girls when they were young…straightening their shirt, wiping a dirty cheek, or combing their hair before anyone took a photo. Crazy! (as teens, they won’t let me get away with it now) ;)
I guess my biggest struggle is with expecting perfection (or meeting my standards) from my girls, my husband or from anyone I am working on a project with. I know it gives them the impression that their best is never good enough. :( I try to bite my tongue, but cannot say I am always successful. I pray that God will deliver me from perfectionism and that my girls won’t struggle with it one day. I was raised by a perfectionist. It did not become an issue with me until I became a wife. It is truly exhausting!
I struggle with berating myself for not loving others perfectly. Finding the balance with accepting grace yet continuing to grow feels very tricky at times!
Discouragement has been my “Goliath” for some time now. I feel so overwhelmed…by being a Mom to two boys, a wife to a third “boy”, a full time professional in the medical field, and the housekeeper/cook/laundry maid at home. I feel like I fall short in EVERY area. I constantly wish I could devote enough time to any one area to actually conquer it.
This is one to add to my “read-next” list. My interest is piqued and the freedom to accept myself as I am is a real daily challenge.
I feel like I try to be the perfect mom and that backfires to me being not the best I can be. I’m so afraid of failing at my “perfect parenting” that I don’t even attempt it anymore and I hide from everyone.
I struggle with wanting to be the perfect mom (well I struggle with all areas, but this is my most rececnt).
I struggle with perfection in many areas of my life and it holds me back from getting things done; trying new things; and just enjoying myself. I am starting to realize that the things I hold up as perfect and wish I could do are often just “good enough” and relaxed…it is the feeling of relaxation I crave rather than everything looking and running perfectly. We all need to give ourselves and others grace on this…and stop looking at Pinterest so much!
I struggle with perfectionism in every area of my life, and it is debilitating. Every decision takes so much time because it has to be perfect. I will go to five stores just to find the perfect card for someone. Even writing a silly Facebook post can take forever, because it has to be worded perfectly. And then there are the thousands of things that never happen, because they’re so overwhelming to even think about. I have a servant’s heart, but so often, pride gets in the way.
Relationships! Friends and family… never feel like I can get it right….should have done or said something else….
I feel like my house is never clean enough
Wow. This really hit home for me. I’ve struggled with this ALL my life and I am now 62 years old. Name any area of my life or role I play, and I have tried to be perfect. It is exhausting, discouraging and utterly impossible. I even tried to be the perfect widow, but that’s when God introduced me to grace. I’ve come to see this need to be perfect as a stronghold the enemy is using to pull me from grace, but thought patterns and behaviors that old are difficult to break, except by the Word of God.
Oh gosh…where to begin? Ha!
I think the answers converge in parenting…. I feel the need to have it together and ‘appear’ perfect…. The perfect discipline techniques for each child, the perfect sleep schedule, food preparation, dietary habits, screen time regulation, child-friendly activities, pinterest-worthy play-dates and birthday parties (whew…I am worn out and getting anxiety just writing that list!).
On the flip side, I don’t actually ever think I will measure up in this area…Satan has been beating me up about ‘mommy issues’ for years and years, and despite the knowledge that he is doing so, those lies are so ingrained that infiltrating them with The Truth has proven difficult.
Congrats in advance to whomever is fortunate enough to be selected to receive this book. It is going on my ‘to-read’ list and it sounds like one that may be a good P31OBS in the future, if it is set up in that nature.
I have always felt the need to be perfect with my friends. I know if they were true friends, they would love me despite my faults.
I don’t feel like I am good enough for anyone.
I am a perfectionist and looking forward to reading this book! I find now motherhood is where I struggle hardest!
I feel I am not good enough if my kids act up. If they act up or make mistakes, I feel like I am a failure as a mother. Often I skip meeting with other mothers so they would not see my kids. That is nuts!
I feel I try to be this perfect Christian: perfect Christian daughter, wife, sister, always trying to say and do exactly the right thing. Then I retreat from everyone to “recover” because I’m exhausted. I’m asking God to help me find balance in my relationships with others.
Just one? I feel pressure for perfection…self induced…in many areas of my life. If forced to choose one, I’d choose trying anything new. I feel like I have to be confident that I won’t make a mistake…so am reluctant to try anything new. Many, many, MANY missed opportunities.
I agree with several of the other posters, in that I “needed” to be perfect to recieve love or acceptance. I, too, was “trapped” in an abusive marrage for years. I, too, procrastinate because I do not like to do anything, unless it will be perfect! I would so love to win a copy of this book because I, too, am afraid that I may have passed on the “perfectionism” gene to my daughter. She always was telling me that “mom, I am not you!” Now I get it! Thank you for the opportunity!
Oh my! I just mentioned this book to a friend THIS morning!! I struggle with projects b ring perfect. I just moved back to Michigan and am working on organizing my new home. Oh heaven forbid I not put something in the right place the first time.
I’ve also been wanting to create a Christmas photo album of my kids, but what if it doesn’t come out right?!
I really think I need this book!!
I have always felt a strong pressure to be and look perfect,
all stemming from the judgement and scrutinizing my earthly father put me
through my entire life. He rejected me from all points, calling me fat, stupid, etc.
He said he did not even like girls, that they were not as good as boys etc.
This has led me into a life of choosing a husband that rejected me, then divorce, \then my second marriage of great rejection, etc. I’m not blaming them, but the way I let it
affect me has greatly damaged me as how I see myself to even be worthy to be a human that anyone would love, like, or accept at all. With God’s help, I am trying to
trying to see myself as a child of God that He loves, but it is still so hard to believe or
accept that. I try to stay out of any situations where I know I will be under a microscope, or be judged, but it’s not easy. I pray that I can just see and /or feel a tiny
but of how God loves me.
I am a pastor’s wife. I struggle with serving our mission church people. They have so many needs that I have never dealt with or know how to help. My husband was a Chaplain in the military for 20 yrs. So working in a poor rural community is really different and difficult to know what is best. It doesn’t matter to me that most of our people have made some really bad choices, I love them and more importantly God does. It’s just knowing how to be me too that I have trouble with too.
I feel like I’ll never be the perfect teacher! With social media and Pinterest bombarding me with what I think “amazing” teachers do I feel like I’ll never measure up.