10 Ways to Love Your Sandpaper Spouse
UPDATE: The winner of LET. IT. GO. is Lesley. Please send your home address, along with what it is you won, to [email protected] so we can get our book out to you.
Let’s stay connected!
Sign up to get my blog posts automatically, follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter or “Like” my page on Facebook.
I’m also on Periscope as karenehman and Blab as karen_ehman
******************************************************************************
Welcome to you joining by finding your way here from my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today called Sandpaper Spouses {To read it, click here but be sure to come back for the free PDF and giveaway!}
Tweet ThisAs promised in the devotion, here is a free PDF that I created called: 10 Ways to Love Your Sandpaper Spouse. Enter your email address below and you will receive the free download in your inbox.
To be entered to win a copy of my book LET. IT. GO.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith, leave a comment here telling us which idea from the PDF you might want to try. Or, tell us one thing you appreciate about your spouse.
I’ll go first……my husband consistently makes sure that there is gas in my vehicle. I don’t think I have pumped gas more than a dozen times in the nearly 30 years we’ve been married, unless I was on a trip without him.
Okay….leave your comment, enjoy your free PDF, and go love that sandpaper spouse!
I have to admit I chuckled at your story, this is my marriage. My husband and I are the “Sandpaper Spouses,” to a tee. Thank you for sharing your story!
Oh, the sandpaper…60grit to be exact. We are such opposites. Why didn’t I see it coming?!?! It would be helpful if BOTH sides would make an effort to understand each other not just band-aid it and avoid conflict. Praying very hard for us both to come closer to God and each other.
I love that my husband has loved me thru all my flaws. His love encourages me to be better and do better. I’m thankful for God giving us people to help us grow.
I don’t always like the opinions my husband has but when I’m uncertain about a decision I need to make he usually has a wise reply/solution for me. I love that about him! But like I mentioned at times we both have a strong opinion and those opinions are NOT the same. That is my “iron” moment. ? Thanks for the ideas in pdf!
There were two things on the list that struck me. The first was do their job & the second was set an alarm & pray for them at the same time every day. I struggle with health issues and so I waffle between good days & bad days & it seems my poor husband gets stuck doing a LOT more around the house than he should have to do. We both work full time & for many years we had the chores split in a way that worked for us. These days, though, he seems to have to do more of mine than I ever do. While I keep up with my work when I can, I think pushing myself to do one or two things he usually does is a great idea and an awesome way to say thank you to him for all he does.
Pray for your husband. It does work. Pray for your marriage. Woke up to a sandpaper moment. Gods grace kept me from responding with a sharp reply.
I appreciate my husband praying for me each day, telling me he loves me and sending me scriptures each week. All the other awesome things he does are wonderful but there is nothing greater than to bring me before the Lord, reminding me of His love for me and then the love God gave him for me.
This devotional is perfect for me! So often I find myself talking to myself about all of the things I hate about him. What I like about him is he tries his best to fix things, and his sense of humor.
Omgee Karen I can so relate to you with appreciating that my husband fills up the gas tank, when we had our first car together he filled the tank up for an entire year and to my suprise the tank was empty one day, so I went to the gas station and had no idea how to open the little door where u open the gas tank it took me a good while before I realized there was a button on the INSIDE of the car that u have to push, and then it hit me my husband has filled this cars gas for a whole year, that is definitely something I still would have missed and never appreciated if I never had to look like a fool trying to open the little door to the gas tank lol
Your article caused me to realize that though my husband and I approach our concerns in totally different ways, it is an opportunity for growth. I need to pray before I confront and to listen without judging when my husband has concerns about family or financial matters. To put aside myself and pray before reacting has been my only way to deal with the difficulties between us. Thank you for this helpful and encouraging way in dealing with our “sandpaper spouses.” I need more of Jesus and less of self when differences come between me and my husband.
One of the things I appreciate about my husband is the fact that he gets up every morning and drives 2 1/2 hours to work, works hard all day, outside, and then drives 2 1/2 hours back to us. He is a hard worker and provides for us!
I daily ask God to help me see my awesome husband through his eyes. My Cliff is a very unique design created by Him just for me. When he rubs me the wrong way or accidentally pushes one of my vulnerable buttons, I struggle to stop and count to 10 before I say negative words or raise my voice. Like me, he is sensitive and so very caring. I am blessed.
Great advice! Thank you!
I will work harder at finding the flip side. Last year at about this time, my husband told me he wanted to open his own business, which was great, in a way. Then he said he wanted my help. We had attempted to work together before and that was a disaster. While I appreciated his desire to do this together, I was also very skeptical. Then I participated in the Bible study “Keep it Shut”. What an eye opener. I loved the chapter on Sandpaper Spouse as it made me realize I needed to communicate better and that meant keeping it shut at certain times. Our business is doing good and our working relationship is okay. Still needs work but I have found if I follow the 10 Ways to Love My Sandpaper Spouse, it is not as hard as it used to be.
Karen, I was blown away at how close a depiction of my husband and me you gave when you were describing YOU and YOURS! :)
Thank you for laying it all out, and being so REAL about marriage, and its ups and downs! When we allow ourselves the opportunity to step back and SEE God’s work, it is there, even in the darkest points of our marriages…sometimes that’s what leads us closer to Him!
Recently my husband and I dealt with an issue with our youngest son, and a situation we had not expected. It was clear that God created us differently, but together we sharpened iron, and hopefully that will help us work together as parents as we continue this glorious adventure!
This experience with our son has taken me to think back on the time when God first allowed our paths to cross, and I fell in love with this man, and those original qualities are still in place in him, and I am so very thankful! <3
I appreciate that my husband is willing to take care of all 4 of our kids while I go practice for our church’s praise team or be in a dance class. And, he is always positive about it and never makes me feel guilty for being involved in things that interest me!
Thank you! This is amazing perspective!
I approach life with intensity. My husband, not so much. This annoys me. Yet if I pause and soak in his laid-back approach, I see the blessing in it. Although I believe my heart desires more passion, intensity from him, perhaps I need to relish in the blessing that we offset one another. Two intense personalities may bring more chaos.
Thank you again!
I am looking forward to using these in my marriage.
I’m starting to set my timer so I can pray for him. I plan to ask him what time of day does he typically feel like his struggles are strongest.
Oh My, did i need this today, we have just finished building a new house, packing and moving a old house. So many decisions that were made one sided, because we had to. Now we can’t seem to agree on anything, and the smaller house is a big adjustment for both of us. Where to put things, how to put things, what to keep, and what to throw away. (he wants nothing gone). Help, patience and time will make things grow again. but right now I do not feel close to him, and want to be around him. Tough times
I need to find the flip side to my husband’s qualities that frustrate me. In addition, we are working on living on a budget more now that we have a baby. I have found how to laugh at the things that used to frustrate me with our daughter but I feel like I am the one who is the realist in our lives and he is the one who wants to live life like we used to be able to do (I’m becoming to understand that’s just men for you ha!). I hope to find a flip side to this and other qualities that we are different on and be able to see the positive side instead of just the negative.
Time travel is a good one for me! We used to sit close and talk for hours. I’m thinking today is a good day to start!
I came across your blog because of instagram. My husband and I just got into a tiff a few minutes ago, then I came across your “Sandpaper Spouse” instagram and knew I needed to read it. My husband and I have only been married for 2 years, but we’ve known each other for 10. God is the love of our lives and He is the center, us both being married to Him first then each other. God has been walking each of us through our own growing journey as well as our journey together and without Him we would be nothing. My family always talks about how strong I am, independent, always together, reliable and stable. My husband often refers to me as the epitomy of a proverbs 31 woman, although I would disagree. What they don’t see is my struggle, my pain, my worry, my weaknesses or my struggle to trust God, even when I know His goodness is everlasting. God has been teaching me to truly rely on Him, in every area of my life. To take my hands off of everything and just let Him lead, totally and continually. I can tell you one thing, as a “fixer of all things” it is beyond difficult. As a person that has learned that no one can be trusted with the deepest part of you, it is almost impossible. However, I know there is no darkness in Him and I have decided that I cannot go another day without knowing Him in every way, trusting Him in every way, and trusting Him to draw out of me who He called me to be from the beginning. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us. I cannot wait to delve into all you have waiting here on your blog.
I appreciate my husbands sense of duty and responsbility to take care of us!! That sometimes means late nights at work and business travel – so thanks for the reminder to look at in a positive manner!
I want to try the time travel. When I think about when we first started dating it makes me smile. I love my husband even though we are sandpaper spouses. He has been there for me through our miscarriage and I can’t think him enough for that.