Live Full Walk Free (+ a Giveaway)
About seven years ago, I was in the Charlotte, NC airport after teaching at our Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference when two women introduced themselves to me. They had attended the conference and we were all headed back to our homes in Michigan. Little did I know that one of those women would not only be at the conference again another year in a speaker group I was coaching, but she would also turn out to be one of my very closest friends and dear prayer sister.
I’ve asked that friend, Cindy Bultema, to share from her new Bible Study, Live Full Walk Free: Set Apart in a Sin-Soaked World. It is a journey through 1 Corinthians touching on themes of identity, unity, purpose, and purity. Cindy equips us to live for God in a sin-soaked world and handle each situation with grace. Here’s Cindy with a sneak peek at one of my favorite chapters, showing us how to scatter Christ’s love and kindness everywhere we go—even in our neighborhood.
**********************************************
How Do We Love Our Neighbors Who Live Differently Than Us?
One of my favorite TV shows to watch as a family is the ABC program What Would You Do? The show uses hidden cameras and actors to recreate awkward scenarios—what I like to call “sticky situations” —and then captures the reactions and responses of everyday people nearby.
I don’t know about you, but I find myself in sticky situations all the time, especially trying to live out my faith in the midst of our confused, anything-goes culture.
- My unmarried, non-church-going neighbors are living together. Should I have them over for dinner?
- An agnostic acquaintance drinks like a fish, but we share a love for Pinterest and DIY. Am I somehow saying her drinking is okay if I invite her over to chat about our latest projects?
- The women in my neighborhood book club sometimes want to read R-rated books. I’m uncomfortable with a few of the book selections. Should I quit my current book club and join a Christians-only club?
That last question? Really sticky stuff—I’m talking gum in your child’s hair sticky. No wonder we’d rather avoid “sticky situations” of this sort—it’s going to be awkward and uncomfortable.
The church members in ancient Corinth had similar questions about how to handle “sticky situations” in their sin-marinated culture. They were living smack dab in the center of a city known for its sexual immorality, indulgence, and idolatry (think modern day Las Vegas). These early Christ followers were confused about what to do with their neighbors who lived differently than they did. “Can I join in on the bad behavior, or must I completely distance myself from such scandalous sinners?,” they wondered.
I love how the Apostle Paul clarifies in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 MSG. Paul writes,
“I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn’t make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. I didn’t mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue- or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You’d have to leave the world entirely to do that!”
How could one live in sin-soaked ancient Corinth and not be around sinners? You’d have to take the next boat out of their impure port city. Good thing Paul set the record straight! Because when it comes to loving our neighbors who are far from God, we need to follow Christ’s example. And the Truth is this: Jesus loves the lost!
People’s behavior did not stop Jesus from interacting with them. He ate with those who were “outside” the church. He spent time with those who did not agree with him. He demonstrated tenderness and spoke truth from a place of love and compassion.
And He invites us to do the same. If you are a Christ follower, you—yes, YOU— have been personally invited to join Jesus’ search and rescue mission to find his precious missing sheep (John 20:21). You’ve been handpicked to scatter Christ’s love and kindness everywhere you go—even in your neighborhood.
So how do we do this? How do we love our neighbors who live differently than us?
Three simple reminders:
- We should follow what Jesus would do in sticky situations, by seeing our neighbor from God’s perspective.
We don’t have to agree with our neighbor’s choices to be kind, and we don’t have to compromise our values in order to demonstrate compassion.
Instead, let’s show genuine care and concern for our non-churched neighbors by: offering a listening ear, extending an invitation to coffee, or by helping relieve a burden.
- Remember, we do not have a responsibility to judge them or convince them why their choices are immoral.
In fact, the Bible says that we are not to judge those who do not yet know Christ. Instead, who will judge them? God will.
But I’m afraid we often pick up God’s Word, and use it—not as the living, breathing, life-changing, Word of God— but as a “shaming stick” and we hurt people with it. (“You had how many beers with your burger? Shame on you!”)
Sweet friend, we will exhaust ourselves if we try to set everyone straight, and quite frankly, it’s just not our job to judge. Our calling is to love (see 1 Corinthians 16:14). Because the Truth from Romans 3:23 is that we all fall short, we all sin. Including me, including you.
Let’s not judge our neighbors because they sin differently than we do.
- If we are going to be Christ’s example in our sin-soaked world, after we put down our shaming sticks, we must put on “glasses of grace” and go into our neighborhood and affirm:
- You are seen.
- You have value.
- You are loved.
It’s from a place of unconditional love and grace that those who live differently may ask about the source of your kindness.
Take a moment to think about how you would want your neighbor to respond if they disagreed with your choices? Wouldn’t you rather have a caring arm around your shoulder than a shaming stick wagged in your direction? I sure would.
If you’ve ever wondered how to best respond to those neighbors “outside” the church, listen to these four simple but truth-filled words to help you respond with glasses of grace. (It’s also a sneak peek into session 3 of my Live Full Walk Free teaching DVD):
Sweet friends, when was the last time you shared a meal with a non-churched neighbor?
Remember, we can accept others as a person—a dearly loved, created in the image of our Holy God person—without accepting their lifestyle or their choices. It is possible.
It’s time we put down our shaming sticks and put on our glasses of grace.
Let’s remind our neighbors and that woman in the mirror too, that: God is for you!
Cue the confetti. :-)
**********************************************
With nearly 20 years of ministry experience, Cindy Bultema is a popular women’s speaker, author, and Bible teacher. She lives in Michigan with her husband and their four kids. Most days you can find Cindy walking her beagle Rocky, attending one of her boys’ hockey games, or serving hot lunch at her kids’ school.
For a FREE chapter of Live Full Walk Free, a printable set of A-Z scripture cards and other resources, visit Cindy’s blog.
**********************************************
Giveaway Ended
Congrats to Karey and Cindy W! Please check your email for our notification and reply to it with your mailing address OR you can email [email protected] with your mailing address. Thank you!
Cindy is giving away two copies of her Live Full Walk Free Bible Study book and teaching DVD sets. To enter, please leave a comment letting us know your thoughts on loving neighbors who live differently than us. I’ll pick two winners at random and post them here on Monday.
Click here to comment if you are reading this in email.
Always looking for ideas on ways to love on those around me!
You shared the truth. Thank you!
I am so glad someone is writing on this subject. Sometimes its easier to judge someone than reach out to them in love.
I live in a very rural area where folks, unfortunately, are not always open to those with different circumstances than themselves. Having just returned from a short term missions trip to Rwanda, Africa, I find it sometimes discouraging that people are content to let things remain the same with no consideration to those in very difficult circumstances. While many Canadians have been open to welcoming and helping those who have found themselves in a refugee status there is room for much change in my community. This study peeks my interest in hopes that welcoming the neighbor nearby may lead to welcoming our neighbor from afar. Thank you for this. Even if my name is not drawn for the giveaway this study will be put forward to be considered by my weekly women’s Bible study. Thank you.
I think it’s hard to not judge someone who you know isn’t walking the Christian walk. But knowing we are all sinners helps me to look at them the way Christ would. How cool that the main people Christ wanted to visit with, and eat with are those who were the sinners. What an example He sets for all of us. God commands us to love your neighbour as yourself. So we are to welcome them with open arms.
We need to be creating an atmosphere of good that allows Jesus heart to flow through us to those around us. Especially those who aren’t Christians, We speak louder with our actions and how we treat others than our words ever could. Jesus met people right where they were loved on them, yet spoke truth in love. He loved them, and condemned their sins. We need to exhibit His love.
Wow! This sounds like just what I need.
I am in a community small group and we are getting ready to pick our next bible study. This would be perfect for the next study, as we are all believers that attend multiple churches but, we want and need to start engaging our community. I would love for your study to be the next with my group! Thank you for blessing others and serving all of us daily!
I try and try again to love on my neighbors. I know we all come from some sort of dysfunction in our lives. I keep trying to get my neighbor to join me at church, starting with bringing her child praying her child will convince her to join us. I feel like I have become the Sunday Morning babysitter so she can sleep in or go out for breakfast. I am at a point that I really need “Glasses of Grace” I think this bible study will help me get past the Sunday Morning and into a more godly relationship with this neighbor and teach me to reach out to others as well. Thank you so much for this post. It was very inspiring.
This Bible study sounds like a good resource !
Of course, we need to interact with people different from us, so we are loving them like Jesus would. That does present some tough situations occasionally, and it would be great to do this study with a group to brainstorm ways to handle some things, so we aren’t compromising our own standards but also aren’t harsh or unwelcoming to them or isolating ourselves with just other people that think the same way. This sounds like a good resource for conversation!
Was disappointed when the video clip ended. Looking forward to the book & DVD series. Maybe I can talk my coworkers into doing it at lunch.
I once heard someone say (was it you, Karen?) that if your neighbor is (insert anyone different from you here, Gay, divorced, alcoholic, reclusive, etc.) that you should be the most loving neighbor they know. I found that so beautiful and so very true!
What a wonderful message…and so timely with all that is going on in our political world. It’s hard NOT to step on someone’s toes even with innocent comments! Thank you for sharing this-can’t wait to read the book!
Wow..I loved this today! I know I have asked myself these questions numerous times and always question if I do the right thing. So thankful you shared this and I must read the book!
Thank you
I want to be kind but sometimes it is hard not to feel like I am condoning sinful behavior. This book would help me navigate this difficult topic.
Wow! I loved how she put on the glasses of grace and explained imthe shaming stick. I think I probably put on the shaming stick too often. I need to love my neighbors with my glasses of grace on.
This is such a timely topic for our society but for me as well. I have been trying to work on not being so quick to judge others. Gossip, political opinions that differ, learning God’s word for me. Thank you Karen for letting us know about Ms. Bultema’s book and study. Blessings!
WOW! What a great Bible study topic I am a Small Group Leader at my church and we are just finishing up our current study. God must have known we are looking for a new book to study. Many of our discussions seem to gravitate towards how we judge others and I know this is something the girls in my group (and myself) struggle with. Hope you pick me so that my group and I can participate in your book study. God Bless!
Living surrounded by your Christian friends can be wonderful and safe feeling, but that is not what we are called to do. This teaching sounds winderful. I would lie to have a chance to teach from it.
I always try to love rather than judge. I have friends in my life living contrary to God’s Word, but I keep showing them the joy and love of God, rather lectures and nagging their choices.
Congrats Karey, you won the giveaway of Live Full Walk Free. Please check your email for our notification and reply to it with your mailing address OR you can email [email protected] with your mailing address. Thank you!
Kim Stewart (Karen Ehman Ministry Team)
I know some people that only associate with others who are “good Christian people” and make a point of stating that fact whenever speaking of people they associate with….it truly makes me cringe whenever I hear this….are we not supposed to love all people? I love this post and would be blessed if I were to receive the giveaway.
This is great!! I believe in loving unconditionally. We are all sinners. We our to love our neighbors as we a love ourselves. I know from experience that others who do some things differently than I do love that I love and accept them. This is a wonderful way to witness to others.
I’ve downloaded the A to Z scripture cards and will print them for my family. Would love to receive the book.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Hi Susan :) I’m glad you were able to download the cards. May God remind you from A to Z who you are to Him, and then spread the Word! Truth this transformational is meant to be shared!