NOTE: Be sure to read to the end. Can you can say “giveaway’? I knew you could!
In a word?
Everywhere I meander, I encounter worn out women.
We just don’t seem to have enough day left at the end of our activities and responsibilities; we voice our priorities one way, then turn around and live our lives as if they were actually in reverse order sometimes.
I suggested doing the little “circle” activity to give yourself a picture of who and what is getting the biggest chunks of your precious time. I know my finished product made me stressed just looking at it!!
And I know better!!! I have entire talks and chapters devoted to avoiding over-committment. So what is the dealio?
Why do I (and many of you) over-commit and spin too many plates or run in too many circles?
I can think of 5 reasons: (I know there are more!)
~ We women have what I call “the curse of capability”.
We are capable. We are resourceful. We are able to multi-task. We are creative. We can trouble shoot. So, when asked to take on another outside responsibility, we think, “Why I’m capable of that!”
Then, we say yes. Pretty soon, our piles of “yeses” threaten to bury us down deeper than the Chilean miners.
~Next, we don’t want to say no out of fear.
Fear of not being liked. Fear of hurting someone’s feelings. Fear of behind-the-back chit chat, “I don’t know why she won’t do this. After all, she has way more time on her hands than me!” Fear of adding stress to the person asking you to do the job, ’cause if you say “no”, they need to find someone else. Fear of rejection.
~ Then there is this reason:we under-estimate the time and BRAIN SPACE it will take to do the task!
Tasks like “Be in charge of ABC” or “Organize XYZ” are the ones that get me most! While a task with a specific time frame is measurable (work the concession stand at baseball on Tuesday night from 6:30-8:00) these “be in chrage of” and “organize” ones are not. When we under-estimate the time involved AND the brain space it will take up knowing we now wear another ‘hat’, we take on waaaaaaaay too much!
~We are filling too much of our time with tasks in our “red” or “yellow” light areas.
Twenty-four years ago when Todd & I married and began in ministry (he was a youth pastor then) he took a FABULOUS in-depth assessment test that measured his effectiveness by discovering what were his “green light” areas–those areas you are most effective in due to your personality wiring. It also showed the “yellow” areas. These were tasks you could do, but they weren’t your strongest suit. The “red” areas were those duties that just plumb stressed you out because they were in direct conflict with the way God wired you. They cause you grief and dread because they are , in essence, “just not your thing”!
Guess where MANY of us operate? Yep. We are filling our time with yellow and red light areas. These areas sap us. Green areas energize us! (If you want to know more, I was THRILLED to see that Richard Hagstrom, the man who developed this over 30 years ago is still around. I found him here.)
~ And, the final reason? We speak before we check.
We don’t check our calendars. We don’t check our other commitments scheduled for the same time. We don’t check with our spouses or check with our kids. And, here’s the kicker, we don’t consult our Creator asking Him if we are called to the task. Not CAPABLE of the task, but called!
So, what’s a gal to do? Well, we’ll chat about that next week.
For now, I thought I’d offer a fun little giveaway crafted around some of the topics we’ve been discussing here. So, here is what is included:
~A copy of God’s Purpose for Every Woman. Our compilation book of devotions from Proverbs 31. This will help you in your relationship with God.
~A note pad with the verse “I can do all things through Him” Philippians 4:13 for you to jot your tasks down.
Then, for a little “me” (or as I call it “re”) time:
~Two Land O’ Lakes flavored hot cocoas, one in French Vanilla and one in Tiramasu.
~A large Godiva dark chocolate with orange candy bar.
~A box of Calgon English Garden bubble bath. (Take me away!)
~Finally, for the reality of life, a set of thin cotton dish towels for Thanksgiving embellished with a Cornucopia. You’ll be drying those dishes in style!
Okay—so, to be entered in the drawing for this giveaway, leave a comment on today’s topic. Which of these reasons do you think reflect you? What other reasons are there for letting your plate get too full? Or, if time is tight, just say “I’m in!”
Winner will be announced Monday!