Grace for the Good Girl Giveaway with Emily Freeman
Congrats to the winners from the weekend’s post!
Cindy (comment left 8/25 at 2:12 pm with a recipe for blackberry cobbler) wins the signed copy of A Life That Says Welcome & the winner of the Fresh & Fruity package is Debbie Genua. Ladies, send your home address (along with what it is you won) to my assistant at [email protected]. (Yes! I now have an assistant and I can’t wait for you to meet her very soon!)
I love meeting new people. Whether it is through this site, at a conference or retreat or even while out running errands around my small town, I love making new friends.
One of my favorite new friends (whom I met at our our She Speaks conference a few years back when we sat together at lunch) just wrote her first book. My copy currently migrates from my night stand to my tote bag to my back deck as I try to get it finished. (Ever wish you could push ‘pause’ on life so you could finish a book without stopping?) Anyway, you will LOVE Grace for the Good Girl; Letting Go of the Try Hard Life. It is FABULOUS! (and is the reason my dishes currently sit unwashed and in a pile!) I relate too well to living the ‘try-hard’ life. This book brings freedom from its clutch.
Be sure to enter below for your chance to win a copy of this book & a Starbucks gift card to go along with it. But right now, meet my friend and author Emily Freeman!
Emily is a writer, speaker, and listener. She writes almost daily on her blog Chatting at the Sky, is a monthly contributor for the blog (in)courage by DaySpring, and recently traveled as a blogger for Compassion International to raise awareness for children living in poverty in the Philippines. She lives in North Carolina with her youth pastor husband, their three young children, and their crazy dog, Finn. Grace for the Good Girl (Revell) is her first book.
Emily, you were a blogger before you published this first book, Grace for the Good Girl. How did you start blogging?
I wrote privately all my life, but started blogging in January 2006. My twin girls were two at the time and I realized in the years since I had kids, I hadn’t made writing a priority. So I started a blog called Chatting at the Sky and wrote about once a month. It was ridiculously inconsistent, but it was a start. I knew I loved writing small observations of life and learning and so the blog became a place to house those things.
What prompted you to write a book?
During late summer 2008, I sat with a group of high school girls and as I listened to them talk, I realized how very familiar their lives were to my life growing up. They were the good girls, the girls who never got into any trouble, the girls who wanted to do life right, please their parents, please God. But under their sweet smiles, I noticed something else: these girls were tired, worried, and anxious. I thought about them and then about me, and I realized girls like us need Jesus just as much as the girls who are blatantly rebellious and rule-breaking – but our need isn’t as obvious because we are the good girls. A seed of an idea to write a book about that was planted that day and grew over time.
The subtitle of the book is “letting go of the try-hard life”. What is the “try-hard life” and why are so many women caught up in it?
When people first accept Jesus, we tell them ‘There is nothing you can do to earn salvation! Just believe!’ And we believe it at the beginning. But then, after a few years of living, they come to us and say ‘This life is hard and I can’t do it’. And instead of pushing them back to faith, we push them into activity. We forget Colossians 2:6: “So then, just as you have received the Messiah Jesus the Lord, continue to live dependent on him.” (ISV)
The try-hard life encompasses all those ways we try to make life work out of our own strength. When Jesus invites those who are weary and heavy-laden to come and find rest, I believe he meant it. But good girls often feel responsible to be strong, and we subconsciously think that concept of coming to him and finding rest is just for all those people who can’t handle the pressure – not for us.
The try-hard life shows itself in the way we say ‘I’m fine!’ when we’re asked how we’re doing. It shows up when we work hard to please God rather than risk trusting him. It’s when we believe we have to perform to gain acceptance from others, from God, and even from ourselves. So many women are caught up in living the try-hard life because, even though it is exhausting, at least we’re doing something. Trust and belief are invisible and hard to prove. Activity and do-goodness are visible and quantifiable. We like that. It feels like we have a little bit of control.
Reckless abandoned to Jesus feels risky. Receiving something I didn’t earn is uncomfortable. Grace is offensive, because grace says this life is a gift, and you can only receive it. You can’t earn it. That’s uncomfortable, and so we hide behind our masks of productivity instead.
What is your hope for the woman who experiences Grace for the Good Girl?
Oh Karen, that question brings tears to my eyes as I read it. My hope for the woman who reads? Courage to believe that in Christ, she already has everything she needs. Freedom from hiding behind her do-good, try-hard masks. Rest as she discovers a new hiding place in Christ.
Thanks for stopping by today, Emily!
It’s been my pleasure! And can I just quickly say how much I love you women of Proverbs 31 Ministries? I’ve been both an attendee and a speaker at the She Speaks Conference over the past few years and your gals on the team at P31 are fun, accepting, and so supportive. So thank you for allowing this rookie author to feel welcome!
Okay cyber friends, please leave us a comment telling us where you feel women most ‘try hard’ to appear to have it all together. It can be in your own personal life or just your observation of women in general. One gal will be chosen at random to receive Emily’s book and a $5 Starbucks gift card.
Winner will be announced Wednesday.
Go in Grace,
so want this book. I have a nook color and I’m trying to not buy paper books. but winning would be a good thing. thanks!
I definitely try hardest and seem to fail the most in the homemaking category. I just cannot seem to keep up with the dishes or laundry, no matter how hard I try. Thank God I have a husband who seems to love to do both!
In general, I think most of us are trying to give a good appearance that all is going smoothly. It is hard to break the habit and just be real as in the “Velveteen Rabbit.” We don’t like to be vulnerable. We are more approachable when we are. I think more opportunities to serve the Lord appear because of our “lack of everything being fine”.
I see it at church. Where people are there for others, but don’t want to seem needy or weak themselves. We all have times when we need to lean on others for support and encouragement.
There are just so many areas where we women try to look all put-together. Mothering, marriage, home, work, ministry…the list just goes on and on. I am a homeschooling mom, so for me, I tend to try to be organized and completely in step with school for our kids. I also like to have my house clean and tidy any time people stop in. Needless to say, these things do not always happen for me, and I would guess they don’t happen for very many women. That is why it is so important for us to lavish grace and love on each other! It’s so refreshing to have friends who honestly don’t care if you just mopped your kitchen floor or not :-)
I believe that we “try hard” in all aspects. Or sometimes it seems that if we have it together in one area, another area is falling apart (or so it seems). I would love to read Emily’s book. I feel like if I could just let go and let God, I wouldn’t be so exhausted. Thanks to people like you & Emily for sharing your gifts of writing to help us all who struggle with these issues.
Wow! I try hard everywhere and in everything. It’s a mantra. Do your best. Gods been trying to teach me about this. Can’t wait to read the book! :)
Oh my goodness, all I can say is this book is screaming my name. I truly was/am “the good girl”, but I never feel good enough.
Emily’s book knocked me side-ways. I knew it would be good…but I could never have anticipated HOW good!
Great interview!
This sounds like a wonderful book! Thank you for the opportunity to win it! I think women try too hard to be everything to everyone. They try to be the best wife; the best mother; the best employee; the best daughter; the best daughter-in-law, etc. I see it all around me, especially with some close friends. I see how exhausting it is and it truly saddens me.
I know that I try to have it all together with my parents and my in-laws because if I don’t have it all together, then they will try to get it together for me. AHHHH!!!! And I’m not sure which is harder, trying to make sure that things are in place or to worry what others think about my family and my home.
I think women try to hard to have it all together. We want to be able to easily do and be everything we think we “should” be as well as what we think everyone else wants us to do and be. And all the while don’t give ourselves one ounce of grace!
I would say it’s common for lots of women to strive for perfection in all areas of their life since we want to take care of ourselves and others and not let them down, but unfortunately it’s an unhealthy and unattainable goal in which we should ask God to change our hearts and minds in this area and pray that he will help us everyday to do our bests in him. Surrender it. Lay it at the cross, smile, keep your chin up, and do your best! That’s all he asks of us!
Where do we try to act like we have it all together? I think women in general don’t want to admit they don’t have control over every aspect of their lives. We look at other women and think… “Look at how well behaved her kids are. I wish I had mine under control like her.” “She is always dressed perfectly. There are days I don’t even get a shower.” “Her kids say the sweetest, spontaneous prayers. Mine are still reciting the prayers they learned in school.” We want so much for others to think we are perfect when we need to allow ourselves some grace to not be perfect. Who knows, God may use our imperfections to minister to someone. I can’t wait to read Grace for the Good Girl!
I see women do this in so many ways. When it is others I just want them to relax and breathe but I realize in myself I continue to try harder not for them but for me. I so want that joy and abundant life but then I make it far more complicated.
This is me to a “T”. My whole life trying to please everyone around me…and so scared that I was never good enough. Even to my Savior…especially to Him. I would love to read this book!
I love Chatting At the Sky and can’t wait to read Emily’s book. I have always struggled with perfectionism, and gaining others approval by being perfect.
I think women try the hardest to look like they have it all together at Sunday worship service, which seems ironic, considering that that is the place where women should give themselves permission to let their guards down, put their face to the floor and cry out to God in their weakness. Instead of being honest and real and allowing real community to take place, they instead create a pseudo- community which makes women want to connect less instead of more. My hope is that women will put aside their pride and offer each other hope and encouragement.
i think i try hardest to meet my own self imposed expectations in order to consider myself “good enough”. Grace for the Good Girl sounds like a great read for this recovering self righteous good girl. i certainly am in need of God’s grace! thank you Emily.
I think women try to act like they have it together in pretty much all areas of our life-work, home, church, marriage, kids, appearance, etc. That’s my opinion anyway…
The good-girl, try-hard-life describes me and my daughter is becoming that too. Reading the interview with Emily really resonated with me. I look forward to reading her book.
I can honestly say that it hasn’t been around my family because heaven knows they have seen me break down more times than I can actually count. Personally, my “try hard” time started back in March of 2006 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and Primary Biliary Cirrhosis of the Liver. I went through the biopsies and both were confirmed, saw my specialists and during the initial process of it all, I don’t think it ever really hit me cause I was just going with the flow each day. The day I had my mastectomy and the recovery process afterwards dealing with both diseases is when it all sunk in. I would look at myself in the mirror and hate was I was seeing. I didn’t feel whole anymore.. I would keep it all inside and then cry when I was alone. I never showed my feelings around my family ever. My recovery was dragged out for nearly 3 years with going through breast reconstruction causing my husband and I the loss of our home but we lived through it all. Moving 3 times within a year to being totally unemployed and living off of church pantries. These past 5 years have been the toughest “try hard” times we have ever been through but they have made us the strongest that we could ever become. Today we are now able to celebrate our lives starting all over again with finally a job for my husband, my son’s home for the two of us to live in and finally, some peace of mind.
After being stripped of nearly all my outward ability to do, I still try to get what little I have of myself “together”. He’s been showing me…no, I should say He’s been wrapping me up in His arms lately when I’m just a mess, curled up in my bed because of sickness, and loving me. He simply loves me in and through all the no matter what happens in life. When I can’t care for my home; when I can’t care for my four children, when I can’t care for my husband, when I can’t even care for myself~He loves me and asks me, “Do you trust me?” And I quietly whisper, “Yes. No matter what.” I could never swim through the depths of the ocean. What makes me think I could ever reach the ends of His grace-filled love?
Thank you, Emily, for listening to His still small voice and going up to your rooftop and shouting it for all of us to hear. We need it. I need it. Thank you.
I think even women “try hard” at church; at women’s ministry events, etc……. Most people (women) look so “together” at church events, when in fact, that is not necessarily the case. Anxious to read this book!
The place where I try the hardest to have it all together is church on Sundays. And around family, especially in-laws. I have followed Emily’s blog for a a while and she is so sweet and talented. Blessings!