Friendship Basket Giveaway and Chat with Lisa Whelchel
Tuesday morning update: Due to the busy holiday weekend, I’ve decided to leave this post up throughout today to give more gals a chance to comment and enter. The winner will be announced tomorrow morning. Have a great day!
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In the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, I was an average Michigan gal navigating the fun and sometimes stormy friendships of junior and senior high school.
Meanwhile, way out west in California, another gal my age was acting for television, living a life I, like many of my friends, could only dream of.
I spent many evenings watching her on TV, secretly wishing I had a group of friends like she had.
Tootie…. Natalie….. Jo…. They seemed to have it all together. Any problems that did arise between these faithful friends were all solved within the short span of half an hour.
Little did I know that in real life, this beautiful teenage girl was missing out on many aspects of what real-life friendships were all about.
Lisa Whelchel (aka Blair Warner on the hit TV series The Facts of Life) admits she has had to learn about friendship a little late in the game. Now a sought-after author and speaker, (and someone I consider a sweet friend and godly role model to my daughter Kenzie), Lisa has just released her latest book Friendship for Grown-Ups; What I Missed and Learned Along the Way.
Growing up as an actress in Hollywood, there were few people Lisa could trust, and even fewer to guide her. By the time she reached adulthood, she had learned to be self-sufficient. She was strong, she was “safe,”
And she was lonely.
One day, Lisa found that the “the desire to experience connection was stronger than the desire to be safe.” She determined right then to finally understand friendship: how to create one, sustain it, and experience the sheer joy of having it. But it wasn’t easy. This book chronicles her quest and contains many practical ideas for connecting with friends on a more-than-surface level.
Lisa and I carved out time to connect this week for a little chat about her new book. Enjoy this honest interview and then be sure to leave a comment below. One winner will be chosen to receive an awesome friendship basket-in-a-box giveaway. Details below. For now, here’s Lisa:
What first prompted you to write a book on friendship?
Like most of my books, this one came out of a failure in my life. I’d been doing things the wrong way and God taught me, through a recent journey, so many important lessons on friendship. Anytime we go through a difficult time, we should look for ways to help others with what we’ve learned. I want people to know that friendships don’t have to be painful. They can also be life-giving. I want those who have been hurt to know truths that can be transforming in this area.
The subtitle of your book says “What I missed and learned along the way” What is the most important lesson you missed?
That vulnerability pulls people together, not perfection.
What is the most important lesson you learned?
I learned how to identify safe friends.
What do you hope readers gain from reading this book?
I hope they will allow the desire for connection to surface. It is there when we are younger, but often we feel as grown-ups that it is simply not worth it. This may be due to the pain or rejection we’ve experienced. So we suppress that desire and instead settle for shallow relationships. However, deep inside we are still longing for intimate connection. I hope they will allow that God-given desire to surface. He promises to meet us as we do.
Now for the giveaway! Lisa has graciously donated two signed copies of her new book for this friendship-basket-in-a-box. It includes:
- Two signed copies of Friendship for Grown-Ups. One is for you; one is for you to give to a friend.
- A $10 Starbucks card so you can meet a nearby friend for coffee.
- And a set of colorful note cards so you can drop an encouraging line or two to a faraway friend.
Okay everyone, leave a comment on any aspect of friendship to be entered in the random drawing.
Tell us what lesson you’ve learned about friendship.What do you think makes a good friend? How do you wish you were a better friend? Or tell us about your best friend from your childhood or the current one you have now.
Or, if you can’t think of a comment on friendship, then simply leave one wishing Lisa a Happy Birthday. On Saturday she turns…….XX. (Come on now. You didn’t think a true friend would give away her sista’s age, did you? :-))
I’ll leave this post up throughout the entire holiday weekend and the winner will be announced on Tuesday. If you’d like to purchase a copy of this fabulous book (My favorite so far of Lisa’s) click here. She’ll sign and personalize the book to whomever you wish. She’s also offering a girlfriend’s package with two books at a wonderfully reduced rate.
Well, I’m off to spend some time with my new friends from Summit Homeschool Sports Club as we cheer our boys on at the varsity baseball national championship! I’ll try to Twitter and update my status on Facebook throughout the tournament this weekend.
See you next week!
Happy birthday, Lisa!!! Would love to read the book:)
I think the best part of having a great friend is knowing that you don’t have to have to talk everyday, week or even year but you have connected on a differant level that allows you to create an intimacy that allows you to never lose each other.
I have a “BFF” that I met in Kinderagarden…moved away in elemtary school (would see each other to celebrate birthdays), reconnected went to junior high together..moved away in high school…meet once a year for sleep over or birhday party…
Now 35 years old..she is in the West Coast and single no kids and I am in the East Coast married 15 years with 5 kids and a missionary…. completely differant lives but when we visit, make a phone call, send and email or chat on facebook….there has never been any distance or uncertainty…she knows me better then anyone in my life and no matter what i go through or have to celebrate she is the one I think to call!!
30 years later God has kept us “BFF’S”
Happy Birthday Lisa!
I am not the greatest at keeping contact with friends. I think I tend to lean towards being “safe” too.
The friend thing is always heavy on my heart. Last summer we moved across the country to California. I left my best friend in Minnesota. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The night before we moved, our families got together. She and I just held hands and hugged each other the whole night. It was heartbreaking.
We became friends in 2000 through Mom’s Club–both of us pregnant with our 2nd child. 10 years. That’s only 1/4 of my life, but I know this girl will be the greatest friend of my life time. We were both fairly new Christians when we met. We started a Bible study together with some other moms with young kids. That bonded us even more.
I think everyone just knows when they meet that one soul mate friend who changes your life forever. I wasn’t sure I’d ever find her, but I did. :) And man–do I miss her.
Happy Birthday, Lisa
Happy Birthday, Lisa! This is a big area for me because I’m naturally an achiever so I do not let many people ‘in’. The best way I’ve heard it described is someone who wears a fur coat inside out…you have to get really close to see the vulnerable side. =)
I’ve had a number of good friends but have noticed recently that with the demands of family, home and work I have let many of those friendships flounder. I’m working on a plan to rekindle those relationships before the kids are grown and gone and I’m left with a shell of what I used to be. That being said, I have the joy and privilege of being married to my best friend. He is amazing and we have so much fun together. Happy Birthday, Lisa!!!
A true friend is someone who knows you and accepts you. But it is so much more than that. My best friend and I have been through so much, including being misunderstood by each other. But as long as the friendship is grounded in the Lord and His love, then the friendship will last. But it requires that I am always being real with God, real with myself, real with others, and able to accept and give gracious rebukes.
Happy Birthday Lisa, and the best problem you can have is too many friends! I have found that as an adult, and after raising my kids, the thing that suffered along the way was my friendships, the time taken up by the load of family and work and husband, now the kids are gone and that leaves a slot for me to make new friendships and re-kindle those I lost during the years. The friends I still have from the earlier days are the best, but the new ones are the ones I have the most fun with!
Happy Birthday Lisa! I watched The Facts of Life faithfully as a teenager! Loved it.
I had 3 best friends in High School. We were all inseparable. I haven’t seen one since graduation (24 years), gotten together with the other 2 a few times, but we’re all so different now. One is not married but has a steady boyfriend, the other is a newly divorced mom with 2 young children. My husband and I have been together 21 years, live on a farm and have two older teenage boys. Our lives are all VERY different and it’s really hard to reconnect and go back to that time in our lives when we were so close. I haven’t really talked to them for quite some time. I’ve pretty much given up on those friendships.
I do have friends where I live now, but they’re work friends. We don’t really spend time together outside of the office. We did go to the beach for a “girls weekend” last weekend. It was fun, but still not that close bonding that you want in a BFF situation.
I’m struggling with friendships.
My sister in law (hubby’s sister) is probably the person I would consider my closest friend. We have known each other our whole lives and have been through a lot together. She is very close to the Lord and is an inspiration to me. When I need someone to talk to, I try to remember to call on her. We don’t talk enough though. She too lives a couple hours away and is busy with 3 teenagers. Thank you Lynette for being you!
I consider my husband my friend…..but there’s nothing like a bestie girlfriend. I’m fortunate that I have several people that I consider friends. I love the fact that you can go several days (even weeks) without seeing or talking to them and then get right back to where you were. And there there’s my bestie – the one that sees me through thick and thin – and I hope I do the same for her. If I don’t get to talk to her for a couple days, I really miss her.
Happy Birthday Lisa! I have a really good friend by the name of Tammy. Ever since I moved to Ohio she has been there for me and my family.
The Lord has supplied me with a great friend next door. She is such a blessing and encouragement to me. Thank U Lord.
Happy Birthday, Lisa! Hoping you have a wonderful day! How awesome to celebrate a birthday on a holiday weekend!
My best friend and I met when we were 12 years old – friends for 25 years now. We have so much in common, but are also very different. I think that’s what makes our friendship special. Through the years we’ve gone through times where we’ve gotten busy with life and grown apart, but we always connect again. We each have 2 daughters the same ages and hope they will have a wonderful friendship like ours has been.
I like Lisa have had problems connecting in friendships. There is a six year age difference between me and my next sibling. I had no one my age around when I was growing up to play with. That and my introverted personality has caused me trouble with friendships. I have a lot of acquaintances but only a couple of ladies I consider very close. I tend to gravitate to one best friend at a time. I feel very vulnerable in close friendships. With all that said I think that Lisa’s book would be a great help.
To be a true friend you have to be willing to risk hurt or to be disappointed. We are all flawed– the only perfect friend is Jesus.
I’ve learned that to be a true friend, you have to invest time – invest time in yourself as well as your friend.
My friend Peggy is definitely my BFF. We have been friends for over 60 years. We grew up together and now we are growing old together. We don’t see one another as often as we should but we each know that we are there for one another. Every year we enjoy lunch about a week after Christmas by having homemade soup and cookies and opening our gifts from one another. We also celebrate our birthdays by either going out or when I was working she would bring lunch and we went somewhere to eat and open our gifts to one another. We each have other friends but we will always be best friends.
Happy Birthday Lisa!
I’ve learned that friendships take effort. Not “work”, but effort. You need to take the time to talk, to meet and to be there for each other.
Friendships are hard! Lately, I’ve definitely been choosing to be “safe” rather than experiencing connection. I’d LOVE this book!!!
somedays it is so busy or just too “lazy” (thats me) that we go from time to time and just “ignore” our friends …not stay in contact. Only to realize that we have missed so much knowledge in not staying “connected” with them.
Not sure I know what makes a great friendship–I’ve struggled with this my whole life!! Too afraid that when people know the “real” me, they won’t really like me. Once people try to get closer to me, I back away. I have people I call friends–but don’t have someone in my life with whom I’m connected at the heart. (I REALLY need to read this book!!) :o)
My best friend and I have been friends since 3rd grade-40 years! We remained very close even though we attended different colleges and graduate schools. It has been wonderful having someone who really “gets” me as I journey through life. We’ve gone through so many things together-crushes, heartbreaks, marriages, miscarriages, deaths, births, parenting challenges, etc… I am so blessed to have a wonderful and loyal best friend!
I think a great friendship is when the road runs two ways. It isn’t one sided. Praying for each other