Loving the Different with Guest Rachel Wojnarowski
NOTE: I know many of you are still waiting on back-ordered books. So sorry. Keep joining us and you can catch up on the reading as you able. I’m trying not to make assumptions when posting that you’ve read the week’s material. And I know many who have the book still haven’t had time! We’re busy. Let’s just keep learning from our awesome guests. We’ll get the reading buttoned up & the study complete when we can, ok?
This week in our study of A Life That Says Welcome, we are covering the chapters that have to do with preparation: cooking, cleaning, decorating, utilizing our space well.
Our preparations, however, need to be done with our particular guests in mind. Is there a gluten intolerance? Might not be best to make homemade bread. A baby who will need a place to nap during your visit but you don’t have a crib? Maybe you’ll need to borrow a portable one from a friend.
Our guest today knows about those with special needs; ones even more pressing that a food allergy. Her name is Rachel Wojnarowski.
Rachel is a new cyber friend of mine and, I have to say, the most clever “tweeter” ever! Her tweets always make my heart smile.
She is originally a small town country girl who converted to a suburban mother of seven by way of life happening. She and her husband, Matt, enjoy caring for their busy family, whose ages span 11 months to 21 years and includes a special needs daughter.
Rachel leads community ladies’ Bible studies in central Ohio and serves as an event planner and speaker for special needs parenting groups.
She is a member of the Ohio Writers’ Guild and the National MPS Society; and loves to inspire others through her blog by sharing faith, family, and fun. Wife, mom, reader, writer, speaker and dreamer, you can find Rachel on Twitter and Facebook.
Now, from Rachel:
10 Ways to Love on Families with Special Needs Children
Sometimes showing the love of Jesus to people who are different than we are takes creative forethought. Families who have special needs children often find themselves on the outskirt of community and this can be discouraging for them.
Being accepted and included even though you are different is a vital principle of thriving communities. Here are 10 easy ideas to assist you in showing hospitality to families who have special needs children.
1. Simply ask to spend time with their family. With the invitation, extend understanding that you would like to meet them in whatever location works best for their needs. This could be a park, restaurant, or maybe the mall.
2. Allow for extra time to accomplish logistics. For example, moving a wheelchair from one place to another requires a few more minutes than without.
3. Offer to bring the meal to their home and eat together there. Perhaps they would love the company, but find it difficult to manage the entire burden of hosting.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about what works well. Is it easier to take a wheelchair through a different entry other than the front door? Maybe just having another adult to lift the child from the vehicle to inside the home would be so very helpful.
5. A “Thinking of you” card is always simple and appropriate!
6. Introductions can be tough over an entire meal. Shoot for having a dessert night together after each family has accomplished dinner on their own for the first time spent in one another’s company.
7. If hosting the family in your home, prepare in advance to understand the specific needs of the family and their child.
8. Think about ways to communicate and include the special needs child in your entertainment.
9. Display an interest in getting to know the family with special needs children the same as you would those without. Use social media, call, email, or whatever method you typically would choose to show concern for someone you love.
10. Pray with them. I know, I know. That’s a given, right? No, I don’t mean tell them you will pray for them and then forget. I don’t mean tell them you will pray for them and then go home, write it in your journal and follow through. Though that would be awesome! I mean, pray with them, right there on the spot. Ask them if you can pray with them and do it through the prompting and power of the Holy Spirit.
Families with special needs children come in all shapes and sizes. It might be a surprise to you how much you will be blessed by the Lord for showing care in this manner; He delights in those who care for the weak!
“And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ ” Matthew 25:40
And now for the fun giveaway!
My awesome friends at The Olive Tee have fab tees that express this post in six words:
What a great reminder of the lessons learned through doing this study!
Now, two winners will receive a soft tee that looks like this:
And my readers have been given 20% off any order at Olive Tee by using the coupon code: weartheword20
Head over and check out their great stuff and save!
But before you do, leave a comment to be entered in today’s giveaway. Tell us, have you ever reached out to someone with special needs? If not, have you wanted to but been afraid or unsure?
Or tell us a simple idea to reach someone who is different, lonely or often left out.
REMEMBER: For this coming Friday’s idea swap and share, be thinking of your best decorating idea, tip, object, theme, centerpiece or DIY project. Bloggers, get a post ready. Others, you can leave yours in the comment section with a description or a link to what it is you like so we all can see. 
Finally, we are also interacting over at Karen Ehman’s Book Studies on Facebook. Click here to “like” the page & join us.
I work in a special needs facility and these are some of the most loving people you will ever meet. Many of them come up and greet me with a hug or just enjoy having someone to talk to. It is truly a joy to see the smile on their faces just because someone took the time to greet them or talk with them.
I have had to honor of spending time the last 11 years with a friends son that has Autism . He is now 21. A big part of my family. He has taught us more than we could ever imagine. He is so gifted and amazing.
Would love to win a tshirt as well.
I have had the honor of spending alot of time with a friends son that has Autism. He has taught me more than I could ever teachhim. He is now 21 and a very big part of my family.
I would love to win a tshirt. I love all of their shirts.
Aren’t the shirts just too cool? I love them too!
I am so thankful for this, especially today! A family at my church has been on my mind. Their son is blind and almost totally deaf. They are always on my heart. I think because both of their children are so much older than mine, I have not felt afraid but just awkward. I spend most of my time with families that have toddler and elementary age children. So, that alone is out of my box. They are on my heart and you wrote this today so I KNOW God is telling me something. I have taken a meal already so it is time for the next step!!! LOVE IT!!
You go Girl! :) This makes me smile.
As a mom to a son with cerebral palsy… I so appreciate Karen including this in her study. I truly believe that when we know better, we do better. Just having some ideas or insights shared help to open everyone’s eyes. The only thing that I’d add is not to be afraid of the special needs child. Get to their level and say hi. Even if they can’t or won’t speak, their eyes can speak volumes.. It’s easy to feel isolated and lonely… As the parent or caregiver… So Often a simple smile and hello from someone can really lift your spirits. My neighbors offer to help with carpooling my older daughter to activities…. It is such a HUGE help.
There is an organization with which our church is associated, called Hope Center Ministries for those with special needs. I am always blessed, though I admit I don’t go there often, when I meet with them. Volunteering at a special dinner for those who celebrated birthdays was so special; I was so happy to play the piano for them that evening because their regular pianist (a blind fellow) wasn’t able to come.
I guess I am that special needs individual. After a traumatic head injury, I have lost some friends that were unable to adjust to my slower lifestyle. I want to be treated as any other friend and given the opportunity to be included. A simple question about my capabilities is appreciated over just assuming I can’t participate. Please don’t shut these people out and isolate them from life. Learn if they need any special help and then embrace them into the fold.
Thank you, Twila. Your opinion is valued!
Yes, I teach a special needs Sunday School class at church and tutor special needs students in my home. Each person has strengths and weaknesses and we are here to enjoy the strengths and remediate the weaknesses as much as possible. Each one is a real blessing!!
I honestly have never considered hospitality for a special needs person in my home. I live in military housing which is a 2 story home raised on stilts which esentially make it a 3-4 story home. How would I physically host a person with special physical needs? This is perplexing and I am saddened at the idea, perhaps this is something that needs to be adressed with out instillation commander. Thank you for bringing something to my attention that I hadn’t thought of before!
One of my best friends has Locked-In Syndrome after suffering a brain-stem stroke at age 32. She is quadrapalegic, but can still feel everything, and is unable to speak (uses a Dyna-Vox). I was introduced to her 7 years ago and asked to disciple her, as she was newly saved. God has used her in tremendous ways in me and my family’s lives, and I am truly privileged to know her! She lives in a nursing home, and, while she’s recently had some issues that have kept her from going out, she’s gone to church with us and come over afterwards for lunch. I’m blessed to have a husband that is able to pick her up in and out of the car so that we can do this, and she is so appreciative! The kids interact with her and give her kisses, and coming and going to the nursing home has also helped our autistic son with his social skills, as the elderly love him greeting and talking with them, which encourages him to be more sociable…. God has used Sue and I to bless one another, and I’m so thankful to have her in my life! Knowing her has made me a better, more thankful person…
No, I have never had the opportunity to reach out to a family with a special needs child. Or at least if I have I didn’t recognize it.
Having worked with special needs children & some with adults thought I was aware especially since I had some limitations myself. However, now that I am in a wheelchair full time, I have a whole new appreciation for what others deal with. If I was to make one suggestion it would be to ask them what is helpful, not assume. It seems like in general people either ignore me or try to take over and do everything they think needs to be done in public. Neither approach is beneficial.
Now that it is very hard for me to get out, I tend to reach out by making small craft items & sending them to friends I know need some encouragement. That way they have a tangible reminder that someone cares.
Yes, it is so key to ASK folks what their needs are and then to accept their answer. I love that you work at encouraging others! Blessings.
Just yesterday I left a comment about the “disaster-hosting-event” when I hosted two visually impaired people. Perhaps God will lead me to more people with that specific need in my area!
What a beautiful and thoughtful gift you have given us today. It is so important to include all families and children.
We have a child with special needs and with his condition, his needs will become more special over time because it is expected that he will lose his hearing and vision. I enjoy helping with other special needs kids when I am able because they have such a great heart.
We have a family with 2 special needs kids in our neighborhood. My son really wanted to invite them to his birthday party, but I was a bit hesitant since the party was at a gymnastics place and they have fairly significant physical disabilities. Despite my reservations, they were invited and attended the party, with family to help. I’m so glad we did. They had a great time and their mother seemed truly grateful for her kids to have that opportunity.
Oh Rachel, your post has blessed me so much today! In the past few months I’ve found myself in a new place, as a new mom to a beautiful special needs daughter, Aster, who is 3. She’s adopted and her needs didn’t become clear until 6 months ago. We’re still in the early stages of discovering them (severe language delays, sensory disorder, anxiety in new places and at night,, food aversions, and possibly a sleep disorder). Each day we’re asking Jesus to show us how best to meet her needs and as you know – it’s overwhelming at times. You have blessed me so much with your ideas. Just affirming that it’s “normal” that life is harder and our family’s needs are different, and our social life is limited.
I also know this new thing God is doing in our lives and the new place He has brought us to is also new place to receive from Him – and in turn give from our hearts — to Aster and perhaps one day to others moms/families with special needs kids. Thank you for being such a source of encouragement today!
Aster is beautiful and blessed, as are you. I’m excited to see what God’s plan is for your family!
Hello,
I have known Rachel for a while now since I have 3 children with Sanfilippo Syndrome as well. I know this will sound horrible but growing up I was very afraid of disabled people or special needs people. I know now why God chose me, or should I say graced me, with being the mother of 3 special angels and I have learned so much from them. So I would like to say thank you to Rachel for all she does, thank you to God for giving me the best gifts ever, and thank you to all special needs families out there because we rock! :o)
Thank you for stopping by, Alicia!! We may be miles apart and never meet this side of Heaven, but our sweet babies and Jesus make us sisters in many ways.
Feeling a little silly on this end… I don’t think we even know many “special needs” people around us. However, our church offers a ministry to those with special needs and handicaps – I think I could easily plug in and get involved there on their turf. :)
I met a lady at church that had severe health problems that put her in a wheel chair. She had a brain tumor, had been sexually and physically abused and got aids from that …needless to say she looked different, had a speach problem etc but taught me more than you can imagine. She did not let her diseases cripple her spiritually. She was a prayer warrior! She prayed me through high school, college, and a year in Africa as a missionary. Every wed I took her out to eat, get groceries, and run errands she needed. I called her my celebrity b/c everywhere we went she knew somebody. She was a living witness. She sent cards to everyone she knew weekly! I miss her as the Lord has her now, but it was such a joy to just visit with her weekly and pray together!
What special memories!
Thank you for sharing your life and story with us…. I am convicted that I tend to “shy” away from those that are different due to not knowing what I can do etc… It’s not as hard as I make it out to be.
14 years ago, I became a nanny for a friend of mine. During the year that I was a nanny for her son, we found out he was autistic. For me, it didn’t matter….he was still “my little buddy”. I still see him and he always gives me the biggest hug. I just LOVE him!
When my 2 oldest children were young and they would see someone with special needs they often asked me why… the person was in a wheelchair or walked differently, etc. I expalined that everyone is made differently and that some people’s bodies work differently than their own or sometimes things don’t work, so special help is needed, but that those people are still people “just like you & me”. I didn’t want them to think children & adults should be treated differently because of thier special needs, though when interacting with them, their special needs should be taken into account. This included people with mental & emotional special needs. Over the years I have witnessed the blessing, through genuine friendship, that they’ve been to classmates with ADHD, physical handicaps, and special needs and even those children who just feel “different” from everyone else.
As a parent of two special needs sons I would encourage anyone who teaches Sunday School to ask the parent to help make simple adaptations to the lesson for their special needs child that could be seamlessly incorporated to use with all the children so that the difference is not made to stand out and separate the child. These could be simple language changes, craft processes, musical, and other. Also, ask the parent to be a “guest” for a few Sundays so that the child has security in his/her routine and can become comfortable. In this time the parent may become aware of one of the other children who might be willing to become a “buddy” to assist the special needs child with the areas of the church. For those who have not had the experience of knowing a special needs individual, a good entry would be to volunteer at a Special Olympic event-you can be a scorekeeper at bowling, award presenter, team liaison helping with where the team is supposed to be and when at an event, and they always like to have the encouragers/huggers/cheerleaders. Good ideas Rachel.
I have a friend (and co-worker’s wife) who has a special needs child. He doesn’t like changes in their schedule, and sometimes gets overwhelmed when in public. When he had a melt down in a grocery store (which how many of us have witnessed & just assumed it was a misbehaving child?) a kind lady came over, told my friend to get in line and sent her own teen daughter through the store to find their remaining special food items. What a blessing this woman was to my friend and has taught me to look for ways to serve a parent struggling in the store.
Great point! I know our family has had different stages with my daughter’s diagnosis. She doesn’t enjoy being out as much as she used to, so we simply do less of it. She, also, is very routine-oriented. Every situation is different and that’s ok, the Lord is so pleased with willingness of heart when nothing more is needed!