Women Who Turned Their Mess Into Their Message: Part Two: Cindy Beall
Today is day two of our series of women who have not only survived a shake up in their life that they never asked for, but they also allowed God to use it for good.
I met a beautiful woman named Cindy this past February when we spoke together at a fabulous event called Feminar in Texas. After I finished my message the first night, I settled into my seat, ready to listen to her not knowing at all what she was going to speak on.
An hour later I literally sat with my mouth wide open and mascara streams finding their way down my cheeks. Her story unfolded before my eyes and ears that night–part soap opera; part tragedy. But, in the end, God won and Cindy and those involved turned a shocking situation into a story of redemption that mirrors the gospel.
Cindy Beall is a writer and speaker. She enjoys watching college football, hanging out with her sons, and sitting on her back porch sipping coffee with her husband, Chris. They were called into full-time ministry in 1995 and have since served at three different churches in three different states. After living in Texas for most of her life and in Memphis, Tennessee, for four years, Cindy now resides in Edmond, Oklahoma. Cindy and Chris have three sons between them which means there is very little pink in their home but a plethora of air soft guns and camouflage. Cindy’s first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released with Harvest House Publishers in 2011. For more information, visit www.cindybeall.com
Cindy, your world was rocked one day. Tell us what happened.
On Tuesday, February 19, 2002, my husband of 9 years dropped a devastating bomb on me. He sat me down and told me about his 22-year long struggle with pornography and that because of that, he’d been unfaithful to me many times during the course of a 2 1/2 year period in our marriage. If that wasn’t enough to break my heart, the final blow was: “One of the women is pregnant and I am pretty sure that I’m the father.”
After you found out what had been going on, what steps did you take to ensure you were doing what God wanted you to?
I sought the Lord like never before. My natural tendency was to cut my losses and divorce him. However, I didn’t have peace with that. My husband was repentant from day one and so I asked God to show me. I begged God for a Word to stand on. God spoke very clearly to me through Habakkuk 2:3 by two different women sharing that verse with me on the exact same day. I knew God was speaking and I was scared to death. But He gently said, “Cindy, I know you don’t understand and you have no idea how I can make anything good come from this situation. But I can and I will. Do you trust me?”
How long did it take for you to build trust back into your marriage?
My husband was an open book from day 1. Nothing was off-limits to me. He literally opened up every aspect of his life to me and never once got defensive if I questioned him or struggled with trusting him. Before I made the decision to stay, he said, “I know you may never trust me again, but if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.” He has done just that and it’s been 11 years. Even though I have grown to trust Chris again, it’s really Jesus in him that I trust. People will fail us and let us down. God never will. So my full trust and hope is in my Heavenly Father.
We want to know how things are at your house nowadays? Tell us about your family today.
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary! We have a busy, full life with our church and three sons. Two of them are ours together and the middle one is Chris’ son and my stepson. But you wouldn’t know it. I love my stepson with all my heart. It was hard at first but God wasn’t kidding when He said He could bring beauty from ashes. My husband is a pastor at LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma City and I get the privilege of speaking to people across the country.
What is the one piece of advice you would give a woman whose world has been turned upside down by a shocking revelation she never planned on? What would you say to her?
The very first thing I would say is how sorry I am for all that has happened. The very next thing I would tell her is that she doesn’t have to decide the rest of her life today. Most people who learn about this kind of devastation feel like they have to make a decision immediately but they don’t. Seek the Father. Give Him your heart. He is trustworthy with it even when humans are not. He will show you.
Thanks Cindy for sharing your story of hope with us!
Cindy wrote a book about her family’s story. Today she is giving away three signed copies of Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken.
To be entered to win, simply leave a comment below telling us who you would give the book to–a friend, relative, your church or local library–or would you read it yourself?
Please be descreet in your commenting since this is a senstive issue. Winners announced Monday.
Thank you Cindy for sharing the power of forgiveness & our Abba Fathers true love!!
I would donate one to our church library, the secound to my cousin & the third one
I would temporarily keep & when I am done reading it I would share it with anyone The Lord led me to share with. Amen!
God bless & peace be with you, your family, & your marriage.
Such an amazing testimony showing the power of forgiveness! I sadly find myself in a similar situation struggling with the brokenness infidelity brings. My husbands afair began last year. I have been trying to work through it with him for the last 5 months only to find a new woman texting him just last week. I am encouraged by your story and would love to read your book myself. I truly want to honor God with my actions and choices and could use godly wisdom as I move forward on my own journey toward forgiveness. Many blessings to you and you’re family and thanks for allowing God to use your pain and hurt and turn it into a story of hope and healing that can help so many others!
What an awesome story of God’s and your forgiveness. In reading the comments, there are so many women that need this book that I pray they are the receivers of your gift as I have already received my gift in reading your blog.
I would share this with a dear friend of mine that discovered this past weekend that her husband is spiraling out of control with satan in the lead. I absolutely had no words yesterday when she told me other than God is bigger than this evil and not to give up.
Wow. Cindy you are such a faithful, strong Christian woman. I admire you for trusting God and for telling your story. Problems like this in a marriage are often hidden from others because we are afraid of what others might think of us and our ‘perfect’ loving family (on the outside). I too was rocked by an ’emotional’ one-sided affair. I really felt sorry for the woman that had her eyes set on my husband. He listened to her problems as an old friend would, but she saw it as so much more. It makes me sad that she was so desparate for love. We are better now, and the ‘other woman’ is better now and in a new relationship. There were many nights of tears and prayers, but I began to empathize with the situation. I thank the Lord for being there for me. Thank you for sharing your story of hope for all of the women facing these tumultuous times in their lives. I think your book would be a good read for all of us. You never know when you, or a dear friend, may be in dire need of the direction in this book.
Blessings,
KK
What a wonderful story! It would be difficult to share that part of your life with others.
Thanks for sharing!
When we really are honest with ourselves and others, we find that there are many people going through situations that we aren’t aware of. This book speaks to me for different reasons and I would love to read it. Thanks for your honesty and openness.
What a amazing story. God is so Awesome. I would love to read this book and pass it to my girlfriend. She has stood beside her husband through all his lack of judgment. Now he lost his job and she is a stay at home mom and she is still with him
She is praying hard for her marriage and kids.
I admire your courage for staying and letting GOD heal your marriage. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing and the work of trusting God, when people are difficult to trust, is a wonderful reminder. I would read this myself then pass it along to someone who says they want to rebuild trust but won’t be open and honest in daily actions. Hopefully it could help! Thank you for your work!
Wow. As Cindy felt that two women quoting Habakkuk 2:3 to her was God’s way of telling her to wait on His direction, I feel like reading this post today is Him saying the same to me. I just recently had my world rocked as well. My instinct is to stay in my marriage as my husband has also been repentant and an open book. I’m just not sure how I’ll ever regain trust or how we’ll ever regain a marriage which will fulfill us and honor God. I would love to read this book.
Bless you for trusting God to heal your marriage. I will read the book, incorporate your journey into my counseling practice (I am a marriage counselor), donate it to my church library, and purchase copies for couples I work with. (which I will do anyway! :) )
Thank you for sharing your story! It is a story that is all too common in this day and age and too many stories end differently from yours. So thankful for your willingness to seek God and to allow Him to work in both of your lives. A powerful testament to just how deep God’s love is and how it can heal even situations we might deem impossible! If I were to win, I would read it myself and be willing to share both the book and what I glean from it with others in need.
This bomb was dropped on me less than 3 yrs ago. Still putting the pieces together
Having lived through this myself with a man that is now on his 4th marriage I can completely relate. We were married for 8 years and looking back he might have been faithful a year of that time. It was a constant battle between women, pornography and drinking. I am now experiencing it with a friend who after 20 years of marriage found out that her husband has been having an affair with a co-worker for 3 years. She is devestated and is ashamed of the events which have unfolded. Her and this other woman became the best of friends. She was invited to go on trips with the family, to sporting events … the whole time the affair was happening under her nose. I laid in bed last night trying to recall what books helped me during my times of trying to rebuild my life and then I receive this post this morning. I would give this book to her with the prayers of her finding peace.
I would read this book & then share with a friend, as both of us have been touched by ’emotional’ affairs by our husbands.. We both have stayed true to our marriages by God’s divine intervention. Would love to read & share.
I would love to read this book and pass it along either to our church library or other women I encounter. Thank you, Cindy!
I would read this myself. Thank you!
I felt as if I was reading my story just now. So glad that God continues to show me that I’m not alone. Last Fall I found out that my husband had been living a double life with a 28 year addiction to pornography which had lead in 09′ to an almost four year addiction to spending time with prostitutes 1-2 times monthly.
My world collapsed and so did we, flat on our face before Christ. We had no idea what to do other than ask the Lord to help us and to deliver us out of the misery we were feeling. Thank you Cindy, as I approach almost 10 months now, so far 299 days, I still seek God’s face every day asking him to continue to help me be the wife he wants me to be for my husband. One day I will totally trust again, I can’t wait to know that feeling that you now have. You have inspired HOPE in me today, thank you so much.
Oh, and to be honest, I would read this book myself first, and then give to the woman that God showed me to share it with. Thanks again.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. My marriage was rocked in this way and I truly believe we go through situations in life in order to help others, exactly what you are doing. I would love to read your book and pass it on to a woman my heart is aching to help through this same pain.
I am so thankful that you survived this and are now using it for God’s glory.. Unfortunately, my son was in this same situation and his marriage did not survive. I would read it first, then give to him so that he will see marriages with God in the center can survive this kind of betrayal. He is remarried.
I want to win so I can place this in our church library. I don’t care if anyone is having problems or not in their marriage, hearing this story might help us all out!
What a beautiful story of love and God’s grace. I would give it to a friend who has suffered thru a similar issue.
Wow what a story of forgiveness. I think I would have to read this book for myself. I don’t know anyone in this situation but I would be glad to share it with anyone who needed it. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me whole heartedly. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.
I have a friend who my heart went to as I read this. They too are trying to mend their hearts, find forgiveness, and let God be glorified even in this ick they’ve found themselves in. Praying for them, their family, and for their marriage and waiting & watching for God’s glory to be revealed in their walk. :-)