The Heart of Hospitality with Guest Amy Bayliss
Welcome to our hospitality study!!!
Before reading today’s post, let me remind you of two other ways you can connect during this study.
First, remember to head over and “Like” Karen Ehman’s Book Studies on Facebook. Although the study will take place here each day, you all can post ideas and questions over at that page for additional interaction and community.
And once most gals have gotten their book, we’ll also do some fun giveaways based on info from the book too! Click here to ‘like’ the page.
Second, we will have an idea swap & share on each of the next three Fridays. If you are a blogger, we will have a link up. If you aren’t, you can share your ideas in the comment thread.
This Friday’s swap & share topic will be your best company recipe. It can be a main dish, side dish, snack or dessert. Mark your calendar now so you can have a post ready to go or your recipe typed out to put in the comment thread.
Well, we kick off today with a great guest and with getting our hearts in the right place.
I know some of you are still waiting for your books so let’s start with a topic in the beginning of the book but one any of you can comment on even if you haven’t read this week’s chapters. (Chapters 1-3)
THE HEART OF HOSPITALITY.
What is it?
Why have others over?
Is it to impress them? Or to bless them?
Our guest today will help us to gain a heart of hospitality. Meet her now!
Amy Bayliss is a writer, web designer, blogger, and a digital publishing mentor, but her favorite job is being wife To Ryan and mama to four boys from toddler to teen.
When Amy isn’t wrangling her brood you can find her posting at her personal website, Cajun Joie de Vivre
(link to http://amybayliss.com).
She is also the author of the just released Pursuit of Proverbs 31 (link to: http://pursuitofproverbs31.com).
Now, from Amy’s heart:
There are things that thrill us as children. For me it was Holly Hobby sheets that smelled of Strawberry Shortcake dolls, sweet and creamy coffee milk sipped out of a treasured mug, and a fun trinket from Stuckey’s. That is what I remember most about my visits to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
It wasn’t the sheets, the milk, or the trinket that made a difference in my life, it was knowing how much Grandma had thought of me before I arrived and how she went out of her way to plan for my visit.
One of the most valuable skills I’ve learned from Grandma, a true Southern Belle, is hospitality. I’ve never forgotten how important and cherished she made me and others feel when they came for a visit.
She always says, “Amy, people might forget your conversations but they will never forget how you made them feel. Make sure they felt loved.”
Grandma is a wise woman. We could learn a lot from her. She embodies an art that is quickly fading in our fast paced, technology-driven culture. There are some things that should remain old fashioned. I believe hospitality is one of them. Here are some tips:
~Pray for Your Guests
This may seem simple but it should not be overlooked. The bible tells us that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. It is a good thing to be sure that our heart is pure towards our guests and their visit or else they could feel more like intruders. If we have angst or stress it is sure to reveal itself through our talk and actions. Don’t allow that to prevent you from sharing your love and your hospitality with your guests.
~Learn More About Your Guests
Do they like Chicken Parmesan? Do they have food allergies? Do they have a preference for entertainment? Learning more about them will allow you to have things they enjoy readily available during their stay.
Before a visit, Grandma would call me 2-3 times just to ask me silly questions. Well, I thought they were silly at the time but it turns out that she was asking these questions so she could prepare for my arrival. She tells me she learned of my favorite foods, places to visit, and favorite story books because she asked. It is a great concept when you think about it: just ask.
~Personalize Something
In my closet is a large plastic container stuffed full of cards and notes. Every visit resulted in a new handwritten gift just for me. Receiving that note on my pillow or that sweet blessing on a paper napkin at dinner made me feel like the most special girl in the world.
Instead of digital “likes”, emailing, or leaving a post on someone’s social media wall, leave your guests a note of welcome or a gift basket of pampering bath products complete with a card. Other ways to show them love is to make simple name cards to assign seating at the table. It shows that they were thought of well in advance.
~Prepare for Their Arrival
I recall a day in my childhood when we visited my grandparents unannounced. I ran to what I thought was “my” room and saw that my Holly Hobby sheets were gone, my room didn’t smell of strawberries, and there was no chocolate milk in the fridge. I was broken hearted. I cried.
Years later Grandma explained to me that she only did those things when she knew I was coming. The rest of the time “my” bedroom was a guest room. As a child I didn’t understand it but as an adult it came to mean the world to me. Grandma did all those things, every single time, just for me.
By having all of the preparation done before your guest arrives you will offer them the feeling of security, the warmth of love, and you give yourself the gift of time to enjoy their company. No one wants to be the hostess running around looking for pillowcases and extra place settings while the guest sits somberly on the sofa. Without a doubt, no one would want to be that guest either.
Take a note from Grandma. Love is something to be shared and it is best shared when you put some thought into it!
Now for Amy’s Great giveaway:
One lucky winner will receive a gift basket of their choice.
You can choose between — the pride of Louisiana’s Community Coffee — coffee or tea.
You can’t go wrong with either gift basket.
I promise, this will be a pleasant treat for your taste buds. But remember; share the love with your guests!
Okay, to be entered to win Amy’s giveaway, tell us about a time you felt welcomed, pampered and loved at someone’s home. Or, an idea of what YOU think makes others feel special when they come to your house?
All 20 winners from the next 20 days will be announced the day after Easter.
Okay, let’s hear your tales of welcome!
Whenever we have gone home to mom’s house: Over the years my mom has always made us feel welcomed, loved and pampered. We have made the trip home over the past 30 years. I’ve gone by myself, with my husband, with my children, with my daughter-in-law and with my grandchildren. Mom always prepares special meals, plans special outtings, makes the bedrooms warm and comfortable, with special sheets. She always has gift bags (age appropriate) for all of us. I (and this is over 30 years) have always received a special gift of hers to me and recently it has been a Teddy Bear from her special collection. She has special towels she puts in the bathrooms and the house is always super clean. As my mom has aged, she continues these practices. (And I know it has to more difficult now). She is a true ‘southern belle’ when it comes to hospitality.
The hostess at the place we were staying left chocolates on the bed in a nice dish for my husband and I. We had our 7-year old granddaughter with us. The hostess made a special bed on a cot for her with a book to read and a big coiled lollipop for her. She was so thrilled and kept telling the hostess “thank you. I won’t ever forget this.” We felt so welcome and loved.
When I was little and we would go to TN to visit my Great Granny King she would always make homemade biscuits and gravy for breakfast. It always smelled so good and made you feel right at home.
We moved to Iowa a number of years ago and when friends from out of state come we try to have a basket of Iowa things for them. Like popcorn grown here and salsa that is made locally.
I think it’s important to show others coming to your home that they belong. I try to keep my home clean, but comfortable and lived in. Not many people feel comfortable or welcome in a home that is sterile and they are constantly watching your every move. Allow them to see you’re a real person and they will feel loved and welcome.
One idea…We have a cabin at a high altitude. If you don’t drink lots of water thru the night, you can wake with a terrific headache. I always leave a bottle of water on our guests nightstands for them.
I have memories of my southern friend preparing our guest room with a small personal gift for us (candle, candy, etc) There is definitely truth to southern hospitality!!
When the hostess surprised me by serving one of my favorite foods which I had only just mentioned in casual conversation. She was listening to me and took the time to prepare something she knew I would enjoy.
My sister and her family are the best hosts I know. While I always feel special during my time with them, my last visit had a sentimental touch added. My sister let me use her cherished pillow that was always saved & used by our “gammy”. Gammy passed away a couple of years ago and will be dearly missed. Having use of her special pillow meant that I was not only welcome, but cherished.
When I was little, I loved spending time with my grandparents. My grandmother always made me feel special by just devoting time to me. We made biscuits together, picked flowers, went for for walks, and just visited. She would give her time. I loved it!
My mom does a similar thing for us when we come and stay with her (now we live states away). She bought a dresser so we didn’t have to live out of suitcases, and the room is turned over from a sitting room into a bedroom just for us complete with blow-up princess bed for our 4 year old and pack n play for our 1 1/2 year old.
My greatest memories are of spending time at my Grandparents house too. It was always so much fun, like a vacation, even though they only lived about 5 minutes from us. Even as an adult, when I go to visit, my grandma will have a chocolate on the pillow and the guest bathroom stocked with smelly stuff. It is very welcoming.
I recent time that I feel really welcomed and special was at a bed & breakfast. We were the only guest in the house for the night. It was so charming and so were the owners. We felt so pampered by the homemade snacks in our room, the wonderful homecooked supper, the delicious breakfast and that the owners sat down and talked with us. They didn’t have to do that. They did all the cooking etc…but took time to get to know us.
I have a pool and every summer I try to invite as many people as I can all summer to enjoy the pool. For years when we didn’t have a pool and had three little fish for kids, God provided people everywhere we live that invited us to their pool and made us feel so welcomed. So I prayed for a house with a pool and promised I would do the same! I provide towels, pool toys, and even snacks and drinks. I love to see people in my pool and enjoy their company!
I love welcoming guests into our home! And I enjoy going to others’ homes and feeling welcomed and warmed. We often invite young singles who are far from home and work at a nearby orphanage into our home. We cook and let them be a part of the process. Then we set a nice table and enjoy our labors together. We often pray together with them before they leave.
When we have overnight company, especially our children (who now live on their own,) I plan meals around their likes (and I ask them for ideas beforehand,) I make sure their rooms are calm & neat, and I try to have little surprises, like magazines, treats, family photos, etc. in their rooms for them to enjoy. I also try to think of things they might enjoy here on our farm, like a walk, a “tour” of the lands, etc.
When I go to another persons house for a party or a meeting, I try to bring along something to thank them for hosting the party or the meeting. Sometimes we forget to thank the hostess. I have stopped and gotten a small bouquet of flowers or a little trinket that I know that person especially likes. As well as us being gracious enough to open our homes, we need to be thankful for those who open their homes. I get a tickled smile every time I am able to do this for the hostess. They don’t see it coming and it tickles me to see that smile on their face!! :)
All of my family lives within an hour of each other so we never need to stay overnight. However, my in-laws have shown me how not to entertain. It is difficult to show hospitality to relatives that show up uninvited, especially when I have other commitments out-of-town and then complain about the mattress that is new! It is like a cartoon–one day we opened the front door to leave for 2-3 hours and they were standing on the porch ready to ring the doorbell!
Even when I sometimes show up uninvited, my daughter-in-law is so gracious. She always has simple snacks and fruit on hand in her pantry. As we get older, sometimes we just want a little extra time with family because we love them so much. I try not to overstay–especially if I have just dropped in unexpectedly.
I just adore this post. And I need to learn more from it too. I love having people over, but I stress far too much over the details that don’t matter (menu, cleaning, etc.) versus those that do (making the people feel special and loved).
My grandparents (on both sides) always made my visits special. One grandmother in particular was much like Amy’s…always had my favorite sheets on “my” bed; always had my little teacup out (she instilled a love of tea in me that has lasted all my life) and we’d share tea together (mine had a lot more cream than hers when I was young); she would have my favorite treats out; and she always had coloring books or crafts or something fun that she knew I’d enjoy, along with a pack of Bubble-Yum for a treat after dinner. My grandfather would let me help him with his greenhouse and garden (which I loved) too.
Now that my step-daughter is in college, I try to make her visits home special by asking her ahead of time what meals she’d like to have (or I just plan them if I know it’s a consistent favorite); we save up for a meal out somewhere that is her choice; and I try to have some of her favorite things around for her to enjoy while she is home. My Mom and Dad always did that for me too.
When the kids were all at home, I used to love to do a little baking each week so the house smelled really good when everyone got home from school or work. I think that makes a home more comforting and welcoming.
I have those same warm memories of my visits with my grandma. She did not have a lot of money, but she always made me feel like a princess. She made me “tea” in her best tea cup and put out large soft cookies on a crystal plate. Her dishes were not expensive, but I never knew that. As I grew, I realized that she was rich….in love and hospitality.
Being from the south has been very instrumental in my own hospitality habits. I love having people into my home and doing little things that make them feel welcome. Making a tray of snack foods and serving a pitcher of lemonade can put a smile on anyone’s face.
I have a friend who has the fluffiest towels ever. It always makes me feel I’m visiting a fancy hotel when I stay with her. ;)
I was visiting a childhood friend in Dallas recently on a “girl’s weekend”. She enlarged a picture of each one of us from our childhood and put it on the door of the room we would be staying in. Mine happened to be a funny picture from Junior High. This brought back many memories and lots of laughter.
My coziest moments when I went home to visit Mom and Dad were in the kitchen in the mornings. Sometimes breakfast would last for hours and we sat around the kitchen table and talked. Dad was always the first one up and I’d find him sitting at that old green laminate table reading the newspaper and sipping hot tea. Fresh fruit was always available for the hot oatmeal on the stove. Mom would slip in a bit later, oh, how he pampered her! “Mary, can I get a bowl for you? Would you like a glass of juice?” Hospitality was a way of life! Not only for guests. Apply daily and generously!
I have two friends who have blessed me with their gifts of hospitality! They always have favorite magazines and small gifts ready for our entire family when we visit! And they both have “extras” of everything you may need in the bathroom, including hair dryers!
One of my most memorable hospitality experiences was going to my Granddad’s and Grandma’s house. Grandma always had the guest room prepared with my favorite goodies on top the bed. She also would go to the grocery store beforehand and have all food supplies ready to cook my favorite meals plus ICE CREAM! Even though my granddad was diabetic, he made sure grandma would buy me some. He’d sneak some in as well :)
Every time I visit my aunt’s house, I’m pampered to no end. Weeks before my arrival, she’ll start the shopping and cooking. From the moment I step foot in the house, they serve me hand and foot with pleasures such as breakfast in bed. And my cousins always plan something great for us to do when i’m there. I appreciate the entire family so much because, I grew up with a lot of family issues and they are very sensitive to that and makes sure I feel loved and taken care of. My favorite part of the visit always is when my aunt prays for me. It really lifts me up in spirit and makes my faith in Christ much stronger. I hope one day I can be as loving and caring as her and extend my love and home to the hurting world.
After I was married and no longer living at home, I would return at least one Saturday each month to visit my parents. Mama would ALWAYS bake a cake with chocolate icing for me. I don’t think she baked cakes at any other time, only when I was coming. I always knew my mama loved me, but this is one special way she showed it.