Live Full Walk Free (+ a Giveaway)
About seven years ago, I was in the Charlotte, NC airport after teaching at our Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference when two women introduced themselves to me. They had attended the conference and we were all headed back to our homes in Michigan. Little did I know that one of those women would not only be at the conference again another year in a speaker group I was coaching, but she would also turn out to be one of my very closest friends and dear prayer sister.
I’ve asked that friend, Cindy Bultema, to share from her new Bible Study, Live Full Walk Free: Set Apart in a Sin-Soaked World. It is a journey through 1 Corinthians touching on themes of identity, unity, purpose, and purity. Cindy equips us to live for God in a sin-soaked world and handle each situation with grace. Here’s Cindy with a sneak peek at one of my favorite chapters, showing us how to scatter Christ’s love and kindness everywhere we go—even in our neighborhood.
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How Do We Love Our Neighbors Who Live Differently Than Us?
One of my favorite TV shows to watch as a family is the ABC program What Would You Do? The show uses hidden cameras and actors to recreate awkward scenarios—what I like to call “sticky situations” —and then captures the reactions and responses of everyday people nearby.
I don’t know about you, but I find myself in sticky situations all the time, especially trying to live out my faith in the midst of our confused, anything-goes culture.
- My unmarried, non-church-going neighbors are living together. Should I have them over for dinner?
- An agnostic acquaintance drinks like a fish, but we share a love for Pinterest and DIY. Am I somehow saying her drinking is okay if I invite her over to chat about our latest projects?
- The women in my neighborhood book club sometimes want to read R-rated books. I’m uncomfortable with a few of the book selections. Should I quit my current book club and join a Christians-only club?
That last question? Really sticky stuff—I’m talking gum in your child’s hair sticky. No wonder we’d rather avoid “sticky situations” of this sort—it’s going to be awkward and uncomfortable.
The church members in ancient Corinth had similar questions about how to handle “sticky situations” in their sin-marinated culture. They were living smack dab in the center of a city known for its sexual immorality, indulgence, and idolatry (think modern day Las Vegas). These early Christ followers were confused about what to do with their neighbors who lived differently than they did. “Can I join in on the bad behavior, or must I completely distance myself from such scandalous sinners?,” they wondered.
I love how the Apostle Paul clarifies in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 MSG. Paul writes,
“I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn’t make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. I didn’t mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue- or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You’d have to leave the world entirely to do that!”
How could one live in sin-soaked ancient Corinth and not be around sinners? You’d have to take the next boat out of their impure port city. Good thing Paul set the record straight! Because when it comes to loving our neighbors who are far from God, we need to follow Christ’s example. And the Truth is this: Jesus loves the lost!
People’s behavior did not stop Jesus from interacting with them. He ate with those who were “outside” the church. He spent time with those who did not agree with him. He demonstrated tenderness and spoke truth from a place of love and compassion.
And He invites us to do the same. If you are a Christ follower, you—yes, YOU— have been personally invited to join Jesus’ search and rescue mission to find his precious missing sheep (John 20:21). You’ve been handpicked to scatter Christ’s love and kindness everywhere you go—even in your neighborhood.
So how do we do this? How do we love our neighbors who live differently than us?
Three simple reminders:
- We should follow what Jesus would do in sticky situations, by seeing our neighbor from God’s perspective.
We don’t have to agree with our neighbor’s choices to be kind, and we don’t have to compromise our values in order to demonstrate compassion.
Instead, let’s show genuine care and concern for our non-churched neighbors by: offering a listening ear, extending an invitation to coffee, or by helping relieve a burden.
- Remember, we do not have a responsibility to judge them or convince them why their choices are immoral.
In fact, the Bible says that we are not to judge those who do not yet know Christ. Instead, who will judge them? God will.
But I’m afraid we often pick up God’s Word, and use it—not as the living, breathing, life-changing, Word of God— but as a “shaming stick” and we hurt people with it. (“You had how many beers with your burger? Shame on you!”)
Sweet friend, we will exhaust ourselves if we try to set everyone straight, and quite frankly, it’s just not our job to judge. Our calling is to love (see 1 Corinthians 16:14). Because the Truth from Romans 3:23 is that we all fall short, we all sin. Including me, including you.
Let’s not judge our neighbors because they sin differently than we do.
- If we are going to be Christ’s example in our sin-soaked world, after we put down our shaming sticks, we must put on “glasses of grace” and go into our neighborhood and affirm:
- You are seen.
- You have value.
- You are loved.
It’s from a place of unconditional love and grace that those who live differently may ask about the source of your kindness.
Take a moment to think about how you would want your neighbor to respond if they disagreed with your choices? Wouldn’t you rather have a caring arm around your shoulder than a shaming stick wagged in your direction? I sure would.
If you’ve ever wondered how to best respond to those neighbors “outside” the church, listen to these four simple but truth-filled words to help you respond with glasses of grace. (It’s also a sneak peek into session 3 of my Live Full Walk Free teaching DVD):
Sweet friends, when was the last time you shared a meal with a non-churched neighbor?
Remember, we can accept others as a person—a dearly loved, created in the image of our Holy God person—without accepting their lifestyle or their choices. It is possible.
It’s time we put down our shaming sticks and put on our glasses of grace.
Let’s remind our neighbors and that woman in the mirror too, that: God is for you!
Cue the confetti. :-)
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With nearly 20 years of ministry experience, Cindy Bultema is a popular women’s speaker, author, and Bible teacher. She lives in Michigan with her husband and their four kids. Most days you can find Cindy walking her beagle Rocky, attending one of her boys’ hockey games, or serving hot lunch at her kids’ school.
For a FREE chapter of Live Full Walk Free, a printable set of A-Z scripture cards and other resources, visit Cindy’s blog.
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Giveaway Ended
Congrats to Karey and Cindy W! Please check your email for our notification and reply to it with your mailing address OR you can email [email protected] with your mailing address. Thank you!
Cindy is giving away two copies of her Live Full Walk Free Bible Study book and teaching DVD sets. To enter, please leave a comment letting us know your thoughts on loving neighbors who live differently than us. I’ll pick two winners at random and post them here on Monday.
Click here to comment if you are reading this in email.
The neighbors that are described is our mission church. It’s hard to know how to love like Jesus but not look like we’re condoning the sin. Our members are newer Christians and are charging but the drama and questions that come up sometimes are overwhelming. For example so we let someone who is living with her boyfriend teach and how do we talk about it without hurting feelings? God has given me the love for our people just sometimes don’t know how to handle it all.
Very eye opening! I would really enjoy sharing this study with a few of my friends.
I think this would be great for a bible study. I try to be kind to all and lead by example. With the way the world is today, we need to be kind. I did notice a post on fb that said Jesus was friends with the prostetutes and the down and out, but it made it sound like he condoned their behavior when he was showing them the right path. How do we as Christians help others without getting drawn into bad things just by being there for others?
This sounds like a fabulous study & Book that I not only need but would love to do. If I don’t win a copy I will have to purchase it!!
Sorry I left out the main content – The last 2 years of my life has been difficult to say the least, I’ve been thru a lot of changes, many hurtful and have done something that I’m not very proud of. So to say the least, I’m being judged and talked about for my decisions and I’m not holding up so well. I have turned everything over to God and know that I am still loved despite my bad choices. However; now I need to figure out how to handle myself around those that i know have judged and said bad things about me. P{us, I now look very differently at others who have been in my situation. So i truly believe that your study will help me with everything!!
Reva, I am praying for you tonight. Asking God to continue to infuse you with His love and grace. May He help you to see yourself through lenses of His unconditional, unfailing love. And as you encounter those who have hurt/judged you, may God’s love splash out onto all those around you. May God help you to forgive them and deal with the hurt and disappointment in healthy ways. And may He restore broken relationships in new and surprising ways. Sister, you are loved! Keep living full and walking free!
Wow what a fantastic study and book. I would love to have the opportunity to win this.
This can be so tough!! Prayer for sure – praying for a common interest to build community and fellowship – guarding our thoughts and our words so we can allow the Holy Spirit to move in us and through us – and then recognizing that loving our hard to love/very different neighbor(s) is possible and accomplishing and giving Him all the praise for it!
This looks like an awesome study that I would love for our Bible Study group to go through. Would love to win this!!
We are called to live our neighbor. As a nurse, I frequent run into people different than me but that’s where grace and understanding comes in. We can’t all be the same and you need to love others where they’re at whether it’s different from us
Sometimes loving our “family” is harder than loving our neighbors. It’s easy to drift away from one another and you have to dig deep to find a common connection.
Teaching my children to love our neighbors as well as myself to go little extra mile to let them know they are valued and enough , in that I have taught them it’s okay to be different it’s okay to love others that have different ways of faith ,life style ,and to show people love everyday even if our lives look differ. God teaches us to love I think in society we have just over looked community and our neighbors . I grew up always outside our parents helped each other , if you needed a cup of sugar you could send a kiddo over for a cup and pay it forward when a spice or some thing was needed , I miss that feel of community and now we have a little home to call our own it’s my goal to get to know and to special things for my neighbors yes there might be someone not so receiving of your smile or kindness but love them any way ….
Would love to have this. Just post a friend of mine on Valentine’s day and this reminds me of her.
The command by the Lord, “Love thy neighbor as yourself,” echoes within as I read your words. I have been judgmental, but it is by grace the Lord has revealed how I react to those who are living a lifestyle, that differs from mine. By repenting and turning to the Lord, I can find joy and peace in my heart. Love is the key to open people’s hearts to the Lord. If more Christians would reach out in love to their neighbors, this world would become a better place.
This is something we all need to hear. My best friend is a non-church goer. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe in God, just that she had a bad ‘church’ experience as a young person and never got over it. We need to walk our walk and live our life so that people will ask us questions or see that we have a faith and a belief that they might someday want. I’d love to know more about how to actually do this.
Wow! I think I can relate to those “situations”. I think like mentioned above we are in this world but we don’t have to be part of it. We can have unsaved neighbors over that are living together and still set the example of saying prayer before we eat and try to be friendly and encourage them. With the bookclub situation, I would probably say that is not a book I prefer to read so I will skip out on this session and let me know when the next session starts. With the person that drinks like a fish, I would be ok having her over to look at projects as long as she didn’t bring the drinks. Seems like there are so many sticky situations we can find we encounter everyday. Being friendly and being friends are two different things.
I think we should love people where they are. By being ourselves and hopefully showing them true Christianity and love, they will start to ask questions about our faith. This world is much too full of judgement by Christians and non-Christians alike. We need to be different, and I believe we can without compromising our beliefs.
So living in the south where people are church goers. I lived with my boyfriend before we got engaged and everyone was soo happy and friendly about it surprisingly. They knew we were serious and that both of us knew what the Bible said on it but still treated each other with respect. People are surprisingly understanding and loving at least where I live and I’m thankful for that.
Hi. I would love this! The questions she asks are challenging!
This sounds excellent and sooo timely.
This exactly what we are needing in this day and time.
Sharing Christ and showing his love without judging an unsaved
person.
Excited to Learn more about looking past the sin we are seeing in a person and focusing on there heart.
Carmen, I love how timely God’s Word is, always! ?
Cindy: Wow, I love this! What an awesome God we serve!! I have being looking for a book with this theme. How to be a neighbor, to reach out to my friends, even family members , people around me, at the store, etc, that don’t have a relationship with Christ. How many times I feel so awkward because I try to reach out to a person but we don’t have nothing in common ,for example, they drink, I don’t, etc, but I want them to know about my Savior, I want them to have a relationship with Christ, their Savior,but don’t know to.
Praise the Lord for giving you the words to help us in how to Live Full Walk Free!
Ruthie, aren’t you so sweet?! Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. Yes, praise the Lord that He gives us everything we need so that we might live full and walk free–even in our sin-soaked world. May God bless you as you have blessed me today, sweet sister! ?
So good! I too often ask myself these same questions. Too many time, though, I error way too much on judgment instead of showing God’s love. I’m going to check into purchasing this study, it sounds great!
Thanks for the encouraging words this morning.
Krisit, thanks for your encouraging word this morning! I’m so thankful for all of us we have God’s Word to encourage us as we handle these sticky situations. He is so faithful! :)
I want to so love my neighbors. It’s often the easiest to stay set and comfortable in my own comfort zone and forget there are others outside of my little circle. I need to extend grace because God has extended grace time and time again for me.
Amen, Beverly, amen! Extend grace because we have received grace. Yes!
My brother-in-law and son are living a homosexual lifestyle. Me and my husband have boundaries but we reach out with love as we pray for opportunities and ways to do that. My son’s friend (who is also gay, moved to Michigan from Miami. I brought him a welcome to Michigan basket with a card telling him we would be praying for him. Both my son and the friend appreciated it very much!
Sheri, what a blessing to hear how you are your husband prayerfully reach out and look for ways to love. Sounds like you are living 1 Corinthians 16:14–Do everything in love. <3
Our neighbors have always been friendly and chatty with us and great to our kids. They don’t go to church. They know we do but it doesn’t effect our friendship. If I don’t feel comfortable at one of their gatherings cause of the activities we just say it’s time for us to go and walk home. All is well.
We have another neighbor down the street who has become like a best friend to me. Our children are close in age. We met because our 6 yr olds are best friends from school. She didn’t go to church but God put us together for a reason because after 2 years of inviting her to church and MOPS (she always showed a bit of interest in going but always had a reason not to) she has been coming on and off. I didn’t judge her for not going and she felt comfortable being honest with me and even asked me to not give up inviting them to church. God works in great ways when we just be ourselves and are nice to those he places in our lives.
Joann, I found myself nodding and “amen-ing” as I read your comment. Yes! I love how you shared, “God works in great ways when we just be ourselves and are nice to those He places in our lives.” Exactly!
Sweet blessings to you,
CIndy :)
This looks like a great giveaway. The sticky situation I face is how to act around my husband’s drinking buddies. I try to get to know the person underneath their brash exteriors, set aside their rough language and crude jokes, and learn to like them for the good parts of their personalities. This has taken time and practice, but I don’t judge them the way I used to, and I really do enjoy their company now.
Sarah, what a beautiful reflection of Christ’s love! Seeing your husband’s friends defined not by their outside behavior, but by their inner strengths and personalities. Sounds like you definitely wear lens of God’s love while you are around them. Awesome!