5 Days to Sweet & Salty Speech
Welcome to those who popped over after reading my Proverbs 31 devotion called The Day I Couldn’t Shut Up. {Click here if you haven’t read it}
If you need a little help knowing when to pipe up and when to shut up, sign up for my free resource 5 Days to Sweet & Salty Speech. It takes five characters from the Bible to teach five lessons for our lips! Each day’s devotion comes automatically to your email inbox for five consecutive days starting with the day you sign up.
Click here to sign up.
And now a giveaway!!!
Your mouth ever gotten you in a tangled-up mess?
Maybe its time you adopted a new rule of tongue.
Got words? Oh yeah, you do! The average women speaks over 20,000 a day—not to mention the ones she types online. Karen Ehman—a woman whose words have often landed her in a heap of trouble— shares from experience the how’s (and how-not-to’s) of dealing with the tongue in her new book Keep It Shut . Using biblical examples, as well as Karen’s own personal (and sometimes painful!) stories, Keep It Shut will equip you to know what to say, how best to say it, and when you’d better just keep your lips zipped!
This book will teach you:
- The difference between gossip and properly processing with a trusted friend
- A helpful grid for using our digital tongues as we talk online or on social media
- How to pause before you pounce, attacking the problem but not the person
- How to avoid saying something permanently painful just because you are temporarily ticked off
- What the Bible teaches about making our speech laced with grace, as sweet as honey, and yet seasoned with salt
There is also a six-week DVD Bible study with workbook for group or individual use.
Wow, I so wish this book/study had been out a few years ago. My words spoken in anger have resulted in the loss of all contact with my daughter and problems with my husband. I so wish I could go back and take the words back. My daughter is dealing with some issues that resulted from my losing it and I cannot be there to help her through the issues and I am always worried I am going to blow up and spew my thoughts and words over the rest of my family. The Lord is so testing me right now as I am trying so hard to watch my words with my husband regarding his handling of some issues with my seventeen year old stepson. Thank you so much for your ministry.
Too often I find myself speaking too little when it’s necessary – when it seems like the little push God gives me that my confidence isn’t there, but once it is and I’m joyful and confident I’m able to take advantage of my part in God’s Will, but then when I get around certain people or get anxiety, and then once I’m at home or with my family I just spill the same negativity over and over; Giving it to God and taking it back by bringing it up again and not letting go. My tongue constantly gets me into trouble it seems and I’d love to set a better example for my daughters. I would love to be a better example of God’s light in this world. Sometimes it’s just a little hard to figure out how.
This is a daily struggle for me. I am often praying and asking for The Lord to help me speak words of truth, hope and encouragement that will build others up. I also make lots of mistakes and find myself asking for forgiveness for the way something I have said came across. I am reminded of an acronym our family used when our children were young.
Is what I am about to say…..T H I N K
T – Is it true?
H – Is it honest?
I – Is it inspiring?
N – is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
I am finding out more that people come with their own frame of reference which may determine a level of defensiveness that seems to take offense when I think I am encouraging. Yes, I can see their perspective but it is bewildering to me. It has me cautious with my words, or not want to say anything around them.
I talk to harshly to my kids frequently. I’m afraid they are tuning me out and I’m losing them. I so want to change my habits and I try, then I’m back to my old ways.
I struggle with whether I did the right thing by speaking up to a friend who needed to break the cycle of destroying herself yet she accused me that I was not Christ like in my words. So should I have shut up then? Lord, help!
I have 4 kids and I talk too much which makes them tune me out :( I am trying so hard to talk less and give them the opportunity to think for themselves. I need to be a better example for them, so I am hoping for a chance for your book to help me in this all important area! Thank you!
I have the worst habit of sticking my foot in my mouth or speaking before i think. Ive hurt my dad’s feelings before and there was no taking it back. the hurt on his face was pure agony and i didn’t know how to fix it. thank God he eventually forgave and forgot but i really need to hold my tongue better.
There are lots of times my mouth has gotten me in trouble how do I pick just one??? My boyfriend and I were having a conversation about about how we should do something and he was talking and I totally interrupted what he was saying to get my own point across. I was just excited about the ideas we were sharing – but I didn’t wait until he was finished and it really upset him. We ended up abandoning our project for another day because by the end we were both so mad.
I said too much recently when my husband asked for a divorce after 13 years of marriage. After realizing the words I said could never be taken back I immediately felt regret and the desire to have more control over my tongue.
I am a teacher and when dealing with parents and students I really have to pause before I speak.
There are times I struggle with both: not saying enough or I say way too much. When I say too much I tend to be a very opinionated individual. Just today I said, “I hope you aren’t….” to a coworker who has years of experience (the person is retiring this year). Then I have the tendency to clam up and not say anything when it comes to my spouse when we are having a disagreement.
I am trying to learn how to keep it shut when it comes to my fiancé. I tend to focus too much on his flaws and not enough on MY flaws. He’s told me multiple times that I need to watch what it says because it hurts his feelings and makes him feel down. I have now been trying to consciously watch what I say and it is so hard. I never knew that I had a problem in this area until now. I always thought I was justified especially when I was angry. God has blessed me with wonderful friends and family and I definitely don’t want to hurt their feelings and put them down. I must learn to keep it shut!
Wow, did I really need to read this tonight! I find that my mouth gets me into trouble very often. I react too quickly with words and need the Lord’s gentle hand to cover my mouth. I pray that I can shut my mouth and listen to my children instead of always having an opinion for them.
Just a couple of weeks ago at a ladies retreat I endeavored to help fix an awkward situation. Although it probably helped somewhat I should have stopped what I was saying sooner than I did to avoid further anguish for the person I was trying to help.
I am learning to shut my mouth and its hard to do. I come from a world where if you shut up then you are labeled a punk & etc. But I’m learning that everything doesn’t need a response & its affecting my marriage & my mother-in-law been telling me that sometimes all I need to do is just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! I can go on & on but I won’t but I’m learning to just SHUT UP!!!!
I am sometimes very blunt and straight forward . Not at all in an mean way. Most of my friends and people who know me know how to take it and many appreciate it. It’s when I’m dealing with people that don’t know me well is where I need to be more aware that not everyone understands when I’m blunt and straight forward and sometimes I may offend them.
It happened today! I work with a person that is hard to get along with but we have been together for years and I have learned to love her. Today she said something I did not agree with and I immediately opened my BIG trap and said something I shouldn’t have and regretted immediatly. I need this book!
There has been a couple of times that I know the Holy Spirit has spoke to me to address a situation within our family and I didn’t respond in the time I was suppose to and then later confronted it and everything went bad. If I had been obedient in God’s timing, and not my own, I truly believe everything would have been healed and taken care of. I pray for God to give me the opportunity again to reach my family member.
I have the “gift of gab” much to my and my husbands dismay at times. It has gotten me into trouble more than once!! I like, too much, to give my opinion and don’t listen to the other person I’m so busy planning my rebuttal. Even I can see that I need help.
Nearly 5 years ago I sent an email and voiced my uninformed opinion. It’s changed my life in a negative way. I need this book!
Hi Karen ~ I think this would be helpful on many levels…..I have a soon to be teenager and she and I beginning to butt heads and I tend to open my mouth with frustrations and sappy comments and then realize my words were not what they should have been to my daughter! Im not a good communicator anyway, so that doesn’t help! And, in situations where i want to share my opinion (knowing that others may or may not disagree) I get all nervous, opt to just keep everything internal, until I can’t take it anymore…..It makes me sad that I’m in my mid 40’s and I’m still not a confident communicator with my spouse, kids, others, etc! Have a super day Karen! Charla (Stortzum) Lake !! I remember you from Hearts at Home in Normal, IL!! :-)
Once I overheard some ladies making some statements about a situation. I personally knew these statements to be untrue. As I listened from afar, I told myself to count to 10 and walk away….but I just couldn’t do it! Speaking up to tell them they were wrong wasn’t a bad idea, but I could have chose my words better and spoke them in a more loving tone….
I have been trying to work on staying positive at work and not letting the little things get me down. Recently, a conversation was going on with the staff about the behavior of one of our co-workers and I piped right in with my opinions! As soon as the words left my mouth, I KNEW I should have just walked away, or said something about not gossiping since we don’t know the facts and we certainly don’t know that person’s heart!
Currently upset, again, with the choices my MIL makes. Only because it ends up affecting us. In what anyone would consider a normal pleasant tone I was “told” what she would be doing…which was really a dig at us. She did this at 9 pm on the pretense of calling regarding something else. I’ve learned over the years that this is her way of “getting to us” without it looking like she’s doing anything. So today as I am of course rehashing everything in my brain, it’s made me realize how many times I’ve “informed” someone of something but it’s really to make me feel better. Not because it needed to be said. I’m growing! That’s a good thing but for someone I used to be close with years ago, it now it adds on to my not even wanting to be around her.