How to Set a Guard Over Your Mouth {& a KEEP IT SHUT bundle giveaway}
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Have you joined us after reading my Proverbs 31 devotion today “How to Keep Your Lips Zipped?” If not, please hop over to read it by clicking here. Then, come back here for the discussion and a giveaway!
Did you read it? Good. Now tell us your thoughts to the questions below.
One person will be chosen at random to win a DVD and and study guide of my new book KEEP IT SHUT: What to Say, How to Say It and When to Say Nothing at All.
Now for the questions:
What are your thoughts about what my roommate said to the grip of girls in the dorm that day? Have you ever spoken up when others were gossiping, refusing to participate? If so, what happened? If not, have you ever wished you would?
Also, what do you think about what I did by texting my friend that I pledged to her not to talk to anyone other than God about the situation that happened in her life? Have you ever done something similar? How would you feel if someone made such a promise to you?
Do you have any other thoughts on the devotion?
I can’t wait to read your thoughts!
I have just finished reading your book Keep it Shut and what conviction I felt when I read that story about your college roomate, if only I could be so bold to speak up (or shut up) when others are gossiping. On the other hand, when you shared about sending the text about NOT gossiping to your friend, I could only imagine how encouraging that was to her. Knowing that idle words would not go through you must have spoke volumes to her and to your friendship. Practical application that I have prayerfully added to my own life and my new role as a Pastor’s wife, where I’m sure I will have lots of chances to put it into practice. :)
I loved today’s post about gossip. It’s always tempting to want to know what’s going on in everybody’s life, but it so quickly can become a “sticky trap” of sorts. What seems to work best for me is just simply “changing the subject” or like other readers said “offer positive feed back instead.” Sometimes it’s best to just walk away too. I’m also trying to be “bolder” in the areas of confrontation. Like your roommate did so well. She knew the conviction in her heart and stuck to her guns and by doing so, had a good impact on you and most likely the other girls present.
I am a barber and have to make a concious decision every day to zip my lips. I struggle sometimes just as everyone does I’m sure. Recently, a high profile political client of mine was arrested for a major traffic offense, much to the embarrassment of himself and his family. When confronted in the following weeks with gossip…my answer has been “I don’t throw rocks from inside my glass house”. It has quieted even the most boisterous gossip…when reminded that we ALL have things in our past or present that could be a tabloid headline, I think reality of our own sinful nature is enough to keep the gossip at bay. Praise God for our forgiveness…while we were/are still sinners!
I would love the opportunity to learn and share ways to keep the gossip mouth zipped through your book and video:). I teach a Bible study and this is a hard topic amongst us, as women of God.
Loved your blog. Yes, I too have spoken up when others are being talked about in their absence. But I also confess that many times I have been right in there listening and contributing. Your texting to your friend was absolutely the right and godly thing to do. And it opened the door for her to be open and speak of her situation, if she chose. Trusting others and being trust-worthy is a hard business these days. I always think of David when he was given the opportunity to cut the hem of Sauls robe and yet refused. Let us also not cut each others robe. At any given time we may be the one wearing it.
I really liked hearing these tools to use. The state of our culture is on my mind often these days and I need practical advice on how to be God honoring in my life, thanks!
What can I say that hasn’t already been said in your comments column? I felt and loved the way people commented! I would love to read this book to learn more ways on how to politely speak and not speak! What a great subject to write a book about!!!! God Bless and Thank You for covering this subject matter!
I loved what you said about only talking about the situation with your friend and God. I think that verbally making that commitment is important. It’s easy to want to talk about the situation and I’m sure your friend was grateful to hear you were going to be praying for her and that you would not be gossiping. I will be copying this verbiage! Thanks so much!
I love the story of your roommate and the promise made. I can’t imagine how loved and valued they felt knowing such a promise was made for them.
Sometimes it’s easy to think to myself that no one keeps their mouth shut anymore, but there are good people out there keeping their lips zipped and I want to follow their example. I love the bible verse references in your post today and I am going to start over fresh today with watching what I say. It wasn’t gossip, but I said something discouraging to my husband before work and he really got upset. Could have been avoided if I would have held my words in and thought about all the good he does do for us.
I pray every time I leave the house, Let me say the things You want me to say, and NOT say the things you DON”T want me to say. Memorizing a psalm would help. Thanks for sharing all your ideas and experiences.
Our relationship wasn’t the same– I meant to type!! Oooopppsss!
Years ago, in high school, I made the worst mistake ever: I revealed a secret that a very dear pal of mine told me about himself. It exploded as gossip about him. He, of course, was angry & disappointed in me. Our relationship was same after that. Now, I don’t remember the secret; however, I do remember the very hard lesson!
I would so love to be put in your drawing. This is something I struggle with a lot.
Karen – I read your post, and I agree 100%%%%%%!!!! I only wish I had seen this about 6 months ago before I sent my only daughter to college for the very first time! She is drowning in the midst of such rubbage as we speak, and it’s SO AVOIDABLE!! Friends that she thought were her ‘true friends’ have turned on her, time and time again, and ALL of them have taken turns bashing one another along the way….SO VERY SAD! I think it’s a wonderful thing that your college friend held her tongue that day, as it gave all of you the ‘silent scolding’ you all needed at that moment, and obviously you learned a very important lesson at a very young age….Look at all that you’ve gone on to accomplish since then! :)
I think you did a beautiful thing by texting your friend that day and allowing her to know, right out of the shoot, that you had her back, and that you were trusting God, and would be praying for her and her family. Now THAT is a true friend!!
Thank you so very much for this, as I needed the reminder that my daughter will get out of this mess, with fewer friends, yes, but that’s okay – this has been one of God’s lessons for her, and I KNOW she is learning from this! God is working in the situation, but that is so hard for a young girl who feels completely shunned by her ‘friends’ to understand! We must praise Him through it, knowing that he’s waiting on the other side, and #KeepItShut in the mean time!! :) Blessing to you, Karen!! xoxo
I find this so valuable, I am struggling in a rough patch in my marriage.The enemy has made it so that snarky comments keep coming & it is so easy to defend myself or want to “whine” to oneof my friends about the frustration in this,However, I have a good sisters in Christ who come over instead and help me pray over our home ,that nothing enter but the Lord’s presence,etc. As, I annoint my doors it is spiritual warfare and a visual reminder to me that I declare over me & my house that I am calling on the Holy Spirit to guard our home, our words and my responses. In this situation, I am called to be quiet and pray & edify !.Gossip is so easy in so many situations, but not Kingdom work,,The kingdom is my promise& my now ( I just have to remind myself that when tempted)! I found this blog a great timely reminder & would love to use this book /dvd for our small mother’s group..too good to keep to myself…Who can not use this message ? lol
Our prayer : Consume every part of us God !
I don’t like it when I tell someone something in confidence and then they go and tell other people. It causes a real big trust issue with tat person. I would let them know how I feel about what happened and that I don’t know if I’d be able to trust them in the future. Thanks for the giveaway!!
I think it shows the character of your roommate and I think it is harder to keep your mouth shut than to join in on the conversation. This is something that I struggle with because I am one that usually says what is on my mind, sometimes it is easy to keep my mouth shut and other times it is really hard.
The texting your friend at the time of the family crisis was a good idea to give her the comfort she needed and that she can count on you and come to you if she needed something.
If someone made that promise to me , to only speak to the Lord regarding my concern, I would breath a sigh of relief and peace.
This is an awesome devotion and a great reminder of what I know is the right thing. God is really speaking to me on this, especially to speak out in boldness, as your college roommate did. I bought the book “Keep it Shut” but haven’t started it yet as I am trying to finish some other reading first but would LOVE the DVD and study guide. Thanks for the words of wisdom :)
What a great devotion to read today! I long to be confident enough and brave enough to be like this girl in the dorm room to not only keep her mouth shut but to also encourage others to do the same. I love the idea of promising a friend to refrain from gossip. I struggle with understanding what the difference between “talk” and “gossip” is and really would love to read your book to learn this.
I have done both, but I am in pursuit of God to live more holy. And, this is an area that I have faltered in. I am the bookkeeper at our church and I ALWAYS keep my mouth zipped about people’s giving. I am trying to live the same principles in the other conversations of my life. Godly character is my greatest goal. I want to be pleasing to Him in all areas, to be a mirror of Him. Thanks for a great example of how to do this.
I enjoyed today’s message. I know it took a lot of guts to stand up to her friends and I admire that. I can’t think of an exact instance but I have gotten up and walked away from gossip. I feel I need to be more bold and find a way to stop gossip in my circle of friends.
I loved the text and commitment you made to your friend- what a great example! I am one of those people that say what’s on my mind and have trouble zipping my lips. I believe this bundle will challenge me and I would love to share it with my circle of friends.
Thanks for challenging me today!
Kim
I did read the devotion this morning and it was just what I needed! I work at an elementary school and we are going through a hard time right now. So I will try really hard to keep the lips zipped. I really care about everyone I work with, but lets face the fact that we live in a selfish world. Your book and dvd would be a great asset to have and share with others. Have a great and gossip free day!!!
This is an area where I constantly struggle. I don’t actively participate in or spread gossip, but I find myself listening to and contributing to conversations of “concern” about friends. No difference, right? I pray about this constantly because God has revealed this as an area of weakness in my Christian walk and witness. This devotion today gave me a really good plan of action for dealing with these situations in the future. Thank your for your words.
My girlfriend is doing this study right now and loves it! I want to join her! I love what you said about keeping the news between you and God and sticking up for her. We were just discussing gossip and “keeping it shut” in our couples bible study. Not only are we dishonoring that person and God when we gossip, we are really just trying to elevate ourselves.