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10 Ways to Love Your Sandpaper Spouse

UPDATE: The winner of LET. IT. GO. is Lesley. Please send your home address, along with what it is you won, to [email protected] so we can get our book out to you.

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Sandpaper SPouses. A Proverbs 31 devotion from Karen Ehman (karenehman.com)

Welcome to you joining by finding your way here from my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today called Sandpaper Spouses {To read it, click here but be sure to come back for the free PDF and giveaway!}

As promised in the devotion, here is a free PDF that I created called: 10 Ways to Love Your Sandpaper Spouse. Enter your email address below and you will receive the free download in your inbox.

FREE PDF! 10 Ways to Love Your Sandpaper Spouse from karenehman.com


To be entered to win a copy of my book LET. IT. GO.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faithleave a comment here telling us which idea from the PDF you might want to try. Or, tell us one thing you appreciate about your spouse.

I’ll go first……my husband consistently makes sure that there is gas in my vehicle. I don’t think I have pumped gas more than a dozen times in the nearly 30 years we’ve been married, unless I was on a trip without him.

Okay….leave your comment, enjoy your free PDF, and go love that sandpaper spouse!


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  1. I am so grateful that my husband stepped up to help when I got sick along with the kids, even though he wasn’t fully better yet himself. I couldn’t get out of bed and he took care of us!

  2. Thank you for this timely article many times it’s easier to give up but God desires us to clothe ourselves with his love even when we don’t want to

  3. My husband does not give you on me! When I’ve gone out of bounds, he takes my apologies, forgives me, and lets it go. I pray someday I won’t put myself in so many situations where I have to apologize later!

  4. I need to stop and pray before I automatically react to my husband. I react quickly most times and it is hurtful to him. I am very strong willed I’m learning after 26 years marriage!

  5. My husband and I are the opposite of this post. I loved reading it. I love that my husband encourages me to go to Woman’s bible study.

  6. This is my husband and I to a “T”. There was a huge learning curve for us as well. All the info in the pdf is helpful and would love a copy of the book!

  7. I sometimes “leave a sweet treat” by sneaking a treat into my husband’s lunch box before he heads to work in the morning. I’d love to be there when he discovers it, but I know he appreciates it.

  8. I like the “Pray and Say” idea. Of course I pray for him, but it would be interesting to do it at a set time. It would make me more intentional about his needs and what I appreciate in him. And texting him would be an encouragement in his busy day.

  9. I absolutely love and appreciate that no matter what, my husband is steady in his love for me! He never questions why we’re together or whether we can ever be an excellent team. He is always sure we made the right decision in getting married!

  10. Wow, this was God sent! I felt like I was reading my story! God’s timing is perfect because I was working through some issues with my husband just last night. I actually tried the flip side method and I was able to communicate more effectively and not out of anger. Like the devotion today, when my husband doesn’t respond to issues right away I too think he is avoiding the issue and conflict all together and he doesn’t care. In reality, he may just be trying not to speak out of anger and practicing patience which I can appreciate now. I also time traveled today by looking at our wedding video and realizing just how blessed we really are. Thank you for this!! To God Be The Glory! #Ichoosemarriage #onedayatatime

  11. There’s tons I love about my husband, but the big one that covers all is that he always tries to put me first. He does lots of little things to help make my life easier or to show me he loves me. Thanks for the 10 Ways pdf. Great ideas in there, especially the one where we can create a Top 10 Things People Love About Them. What a great idea! I plan on doing that.

  12. My husband loves me no matter how I drive him crazy lol. I truly appreciate him. If I am sick or not feeling well, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to help me feel better. I am overweight, and he still makes me feel like I am the most beautiful wom,an in the world. I so totally appreciate his steadfastness and commitment to our marriage. He is truly a blessing to me.

  13. Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer…but also I ask GOD to let me see my husband the way he see’s me. He loves my husband just like he loves me. With the help of the Holy Father I realize that just because we’re different that doesn’t make my husband wrong, and instead of him being the sand paper person it could possibly be me. I ask GOD for wisdom and to open my understanding and take away my pride and selfishness….

  14. I need to focus on “find the flip side” idea right now:) But I also think the “leave a treat” idea is a good one; I used to do that before we got married.

  15. Thank you for your honesty – You really feel like you’ve gotten in over your head when you find out just how different you really are! Thankfully we can turn to our Lord and Saviour for help. I need the moment by moment reminder to temper my responses with love and not instant raw emotion. this was timely and very much needed. thank you!

  16. One of the things I appreciate about my spouse is his willingness to cook. He likes to cook because he likes to eat. I like to eat, but I’m all about the easy grab-and-go type things. Mine also keeps my car’s gas filled before I’m on fumes. I let him know when it’s down to 1/4 tank and within a day or two it magically fills back up. :)

  17. Like others listed above – this devotion came on a morning that I needed encouragement for my souse & marriage. 25 years married to a Pastor – and we still struggle so much. I’m very discouraged. Printing your list now. Thanks for sharing. One thing I appreciate about my souse – He’s a great Pastor.

  18. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years and this devotion hit me right smack in between the eyes. I have been struggling (we both have) with my mood swings and unhappiness for the past couple of years. I can’t seem to be happy about anything anymore and certain things about him just grate at my last nerve. As hard as that was to admit, I know it is time to say it out loud. I have prayed and prayed, but probably not for the right things. I know my heart needs a change and although I have asked God to start with me, by giving my heart a new direction, I haven’t prayed it as much as I have for a change to occur within my husband. He has gained weight over the years and doesn’t seem to care whether I am any longer attracted, he is sarcastic and seems that no matter what I say, he has something rude to say to me which only causes me to pick a disagreement and rant, if I don’t do things his way….it isn’t right, he only wants to discuss politics, NRA or the ins and outs of a new project he is working on and could care less about what has gone on in my day. I feel hopeless and am fearful of what our relationship is saying to our children.

    On the bright side, in so many ways he is a wonderful Christian man. He truly loves our family and would protect us with his last breath. He has struggled with the sales world and has worked hard over the years to do well financially for our family as I work in ministry for a Senior Pastor. Yes, you read that right…I work in ministry and let me tell you….making a great marriage isn’t any easier for those of us in ministry. The devil comes at us probably even with more intent and it is harder for us to come clean and admit that we don’t have perfect marriages. After all, aren’t we the ones that need to be setting the example?

    More feathers in his hat….over the years he has sent me flowers, bought me jewelry, written me love letters/cards, set up special get-aways. He is devoted to our church, sings in the choir, donates his time to Room In the Inn, sets in on numerous church committees, has chaperoned youth events and mission trips, etc. He also is always willing to help our friends and family when in need…almost to a fault by not attending to our own family’s needs.

    I say all this because I don’t want to paint the picture “completely empty” when there is so much good in him. Your devotion and “10 Ways….” have given me new perspective. Will be posting it on every mirror and closet door I can as a reminder to look for the good and not allow the bad to flood in. My glass will be full again…I’m praying on it.

  19. Thank you for such a great reminder to “sharpen each other”. We are definitely polar opposites. He is the quick processor and I am the slow thinker, exactly opposite of your marriage Karen. I have been married 33 years and dated 4 years in addition to that so we have honestly grown up together. I am amazed at his ability to fix anything and everything and I can’t believe how much money he has saved us over the decades because of this amazing ability! I am so honored to be his wife. Thanks again for the blog today Karen!

  20. This PDF was so helpful! I think my husband would love to find a special treat and would love the gift from his childhood. I also love the idea to set a time to pray for him. What an eye opener that if I’m not paying for him, who is? Amazing how God speaks to us!

  21. I actually did print a list of the 10 reasons I fell in love with him, framed it and gave it to him for Christmas.

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